


Addicted To You

by AlxSteele



Series: Addicted To You (fuck buddies au) [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec attempts to woo Magnus, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Can't you see they're falling in love, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Hooking up, Idiots, Idiots in Love, M/M, Malec, Minor Angst, One Night Stands, Pining, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, it's adorable, kind of?, lots of pinin, lots of pining, more like fuck buddies, smutty smutty overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 22:53:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 78,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8552617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlxSteele/pseuds/AlxSteele
Summary: Magnus Bane's the head of his own company. Alec Lightwood is in his last year of law school. They’ve never met but have one thing in common: neither does relationships. Just one night stands. That is until they find themselves matched on a hookup app and suddenly one night is not enough.Also known as the one where Magnus and Alec meet and think they can have no strings attached sex and not develop feelings.





	1. Stay The Night

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I'd thought I had finally gotten better at tagging things but I was sooo wrong.
> 
> So this is a first for me! I attempted smut, so let's see. This is a birthday present for the amazing Domenica, I hope you like it, babe! <3<3<3
> 
> (also, this was a b-day present for one of my betas and therefore not beta'd, all mistakes are mine!)

Magnus Bane was bored, again. Once you’ve worked your way up from the literal bottom, supporting yourself through high school — graduating when he was 14 and living by himself — and college only to get a crappy job and spend every waking moment working, and working hard until you were at the top of your own super company, all by the age of 30… Well, there wasn’t much to do after that.

Sure, Magnus owed a lot of people for getting to where he was but he also wasn’t humble enough not to admit he did a lot of it alone. And sure, it was a lot of work running Bane Co., which had quickly — though through a lot of hard work and sleepless nights — become one of the world’s top media conglomerates. Magnus was constantly on call, had to review all the layouts for the magazine — his first big success —, edit articles he couldn’t trust anyone else with, assign projects, and keep ahead of everyone else on everything. It was exhausting but it’d also become…monotone.

Catarina had joined him recently, taking on a lot of his work after leaving her old company. Raphael was good at managing…everything. Magnus had finally gotten the right people in all the right positions and didn’t have to do everything himself… And that made him very bored. Even Sherwin, who’d he’d only hired because Clary (who had briefly interned with him and then basically become his apprentice after graduating) had begged, was a decent assistant. Magnus would grudgingly, and under much distress, even admit Salmon might have been the best assistant he’s ever had. And in the last five years he’s had a lot of them.

Magnus swirled the amber liquid in his glass around, staring out over his kingdom — Brooklyn where Bane Co’s headquarters were based. Many people had called Magnus out early on in his career, even more so when he started Bane Co. with the backing of Ragnor Fell, a big wig in the media business. And he’d worked hard to prove them wrong the last few years.

All that work was finally paying off. Magnus was on top of the world in his career, most the time he was happy with that, he loved his company and his job, but, every once in a while, he’d feel this…itch that demanded to be scratched. Repeatedly.

Magnus’ office was big, filled with windows and a wall of tv screens constantly showing the news. He had a giant desk, all the furniture was carefully handpicked, the couch more comfortable and expensive than his bed at home, which was good because he slept there quite frequently. To the left, there were glass doors leading to his balcony, the front was windows looking out on his employees.

Moving back in from the balcony as a chilled wind blew in, Magnus sighed. He downed the rest of his whiskey before pulling out his phone, opening the hookup app before he could talk himself out of it.

***

Alec Lightwood didn’t have time for romance and relationships. Didn’t want those things anyway. No, Alec — who was in his last painful year of law school — preferred to keep things easy, organized, and manageable. Which was why he not only had millions of lists and a very intense organization method when it came to school and his personal life both, but also why the only…er…physical relationships he had, were one night stands met over a hookup app. And even those Alec didn’t indulge in too often.

That night, Alec had lost count of how many cups of coffee he’d had, ignored all the texts from his siblings, and been staring at the same page in one of his textbooks for at least an hour when he finally gave in.

Trying not to feel the old wave of disgust it’d taken him a while to get over having, grown up in a more…conservative household where he spent most his teen years denying he felt attracted to anyone, let alone men — Alec pulled up the app on his phone.

Not even ten minutes later, he was pulling on his jacket and heading out. He checked the address again, picturing it mentally and realizing he was going to a hotel in Brooklyn. Either the guy he was meeting was ashamed, married, or just visiting. Alec only cared about one of those.

Alec took the subway, knee bouncing the whole time as he was unable to stay still. He glanced at the man’s picture again, he looked to be Asian, a few years older than Alec, but what Alec noticed most of all — what sent his heart racing like this was his first random hookup — was simply how beautiful he looked. Alec shook his head to himself, there was no way someone could be that beautiful, maybe he was ugly in real life?

He had dark hair, light stumble in the picture. And he wore makeup, not a ton, a tasteful amount, darkening his eyes and illuminating his features. Not that they needed it.

Alec finally slipped his phone away, forcing his mind to return to going over the information he’d been studying all night until he reached his stop.

Alec had only ever had one relationship and it hadn’t ended well. He hadn’t been out of the closet officially, just starting college. Raj was still in the closest too but even more terrified of coming out than Alec was. It’d ended in a disaster. It’d been his first…everything—except maybe love, Alec still wasn’t sure he’d ever loved Raj.

Since then, occasionally, Alec simply made do with one night stands. He used to meet them at this gay bar near his apartment, then he’d been introduced to the hookup app which took a lot less effort. Not that Alec used it all that often, he could control himself. Just occasionally, to blow off steam. Like tonight.

Alec bit back a grin as a he approached the hotel. He’d been given a room number and paused only a minute as the doorman opened the door for him, to wonder if he was going to be ax murdered, but he was a black belt, and worked out with Jace every other day. He could handle himself. And if the man was as gorgeous as the profile pic suggested, it was worth the risk.

***

Magnus had learned his lesson long ago, never bring the one night stand to your apartment. Then things could get awkward too easily. For one, if you didn’t want to see them again but they wanted to see you? They knew where to find you. And then you had the clingy ones who didn’t leave respectably in the middle of the night and forced you to have awkward mornings.

Plus, he was kind of a high-profile person these days, his enemies were always looking for dirt on him — especially his board which would like nothing more than to force Magnus to step down as head of the company.

So, no random hookups at casa de Magnus. Instead, he always rented a room. Of course, he wasn’t a hooker so it was a nice, expensive room. But he wasn’t surprised when the pretty dark hair boy walked in and his first question was, “You aren’t married, are you?”

Magnus had paused long enough to give his hookup a long, slow and sensual look up and down and up again. He was so tall. Magnus smirked to himself, thinking: I can’t wait to climb that.

Realizing he needed to answer, he shook his head, returning to reality in which he was totally going to climb that.

It wasn’t until Magnus looked up at the man’s face that was set in far too serious an expression for what they both knew they were going to do, that Magnus fully came to his senses.

Magnus scoffed, moving to the mini bar. “Darling please, if I was married I wouldn’t be able to afford this room for a little fun.” It was true, this room was expensive, it was the penthouse suite with a large bathroom and even larger bathtub. A little living space, a giant bedroom with a giant bed the very, very tall man would easily fit in, and a hot tub out on the balcony. Magnus planned to make use of as many of the luxury features as possible, starting with the bed.

That seemed to be enough for the dark-haired boy, who couldn’t have been much older than his mid-twenties, as he moved to follow Magnus.

Damn, he’s hot, Magnus thought, pouring himself a drink before offering it to his hookup who just shook his head.

Magnus smirked. “Glad to know you don’t need to be drunk to fuck me,” he teased.

When the boy rolled his eyes, and replied, “Maybe I already am.” Magnus felt downright giddy. Too many of these hookups were with boring people. Sure, they were good in bed (usually) but Magnus wanted to have fun while…having fun. It was always better with someone with a little personality.

Of course, it didn’t hurt that he looked like _that._ Magnus had no complaints really. He was tall (so tall) with nice broad shoulders. He definitely worked out, but not too much. Magnus licked his lips just imagining his abs. Dark, messy hair, dressed in a plain black shirt and ratty old jeans, he clearly didn’t care much about his appearance, but everyone had their flaws. One of his was not his eyes. Magnus stared in to them just a little too long, unable to tell if they were green or brown and not really caring, they were beautiful either way.

The app was anonymous, but Magnus found himself wanting to know this man’s name, so offered his hand along with his real one, “I’m Magnus.” Just first names, so Magnus would know what to call out, suddenly sure, looking him over slowly, that he’d be calling out lots of things that night.

The boy glanced at Magnus’ hand, looking surprised. Magnus couldn’t tell if this was his first time using this kind of app, he looked…oddly innocent, but also very dangerous. In a good way.

“Alec,” the pretty boy finally said.

Magnus grinned. “Shall we?”

***

He — Magnus — was just as beautiful as his picture. Alec had stuttered when he first opened the door because yeah, he was that beautiful. Unlike in his picture though, Magnus had blue streaks in his hair. He had on a little more makeup too, glitter covered his hair and surrounded his eyes and Alec was already thinking of how it would get all over him as he stepped into the room. He immediately flushed, clearing his throat and hoping the other man didn’t notice. Izzy would be proud of him, already thinking about that. Then again, what else was he supposed to be thinking of?

The truth was Alec had gotten good with the whole one night stand and random hookup thing. But from the second he stepped inside the hotel room, he felt a little off because, while he’d had attractive hookups before…they’d never look like this.

When their eyes first met, Alec forgot everything he was about to say.

Now, Magnus swallowed the last of his drink, Alec’s eyes following his bobbing Adam’s apple, before slowly moving around the mini bar, towards Alec. He’d never seen someone move so…gracefully before, practically stalking toward Alec like a cat who’s just spotted a mouse. The hotel room was already dark, the lights dimmed perfectly and some low music playing somewhere in the background. Alec was honestly surprised there weren’t candles or something. This guy must be rich, he realized.

Alec held his breath, heart beat tripling, as Magnus stopped with barely any room between them. He only had to look up slightly to meet Alec’s eyes, which he seemed to be searching. Alec held still, blinking slowly.

“Is this okay?” Magnus whispered.

Alec blinked. He was a little out of breath, Magnus was so close and so beautiful, tall and lithe, wearing sinfully tight pants and a shirt that was hardly buttoned with at least four long necklaces looped around his neck, hanging dangerously low and dragging Alec’s gaze downward.

Magnus laughed softly, bringing Alec’s gaze back up. Swallowing, he mumbled, “Yes,” even though he wasn’t quite sure what Magnus was asking.

A grin passed across Magnus’ face quickly, and then he was pressing forward, every inch of his body touching Alec’s with one move as he wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck.

Every single move Magnus made was sexy, the way he pressed close to Alec, breathing the same air, lips only inches apart. The way he smelled, like cinnamon and vanilla. The way he batted his eyelashes, staring up at Alec.

He rose on his tiptoes and without thinking, Alec’s arms went around his waist, wrapping loosely behind him. Alec was ready for Magnus to kiss him but he paused with the smallest amount of space between them.

Alec’s eyes were half closed when Magnus spoke. "You're sure you want to do this, right?” he whispered in a low, unbelievably sexy voice. “Have sex. Fuck. Go _all the way._ "

Alec snorted, closing his eyes all the way and shaking his head as he chuckled. Looking up though he became serious as their eyes met again, nodding slow and sure.

“This isn’t my first time, you know?” Alec said. “I’ve been using this app for months.”

 _“Dirty_ ,” Magnus replied, a twinkle in his eyes. “But it’s all about consent, pretty boy,” he added, reaching out and running a finger slowly down Alec’s jaw.

Alec nodded seriously. “Yes, I’m sure I want to have sex with you.”

“So brisk. No foreplay?” Magnus teased, a smile curving one side of his mouth.

Alec held his gaze, getting lost in his eyes that were gold and green and impossible colors before asking evenly. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Magnus grinned. “Dirty,” he repeated. “But obviously. Hello, have you seen you?” he smirked. “Who wouldn’t want to that, er. _You_.”

Alec rolled his eyes, thinking he’d never had a hookup quite like this, usually there was less talking. “What, no foreplay?”

Magnus’ smirk widened and immediately Alec realized he may have made a mistake. “Don’t worry, darling,” Magnus cooed. “I’ll be more than happy to give you all the foreplay you want.”

The way Magnus was looking at him… Alec glanced away, clearing his throat, feeling lust taking over his mind already. “And then?” he whispered, voice huskier than intended.

“And then,” Magnus said, leaning slowly closer, using the hands he had resting on the back of Alec’s neck to pull him down slightly. “I’m going to climb you like a tree, and fuck you — or actually, let you fuck me, like you’ve never had before.”

Alec swallowed, eyes dilating as Magnus’ shined brighter. Then Magnus smirked again, “Let’s do the do,” he said.

Alec groaned. “Are you serious?” he asked, closing his eyes again.

“Deadly,” Magnus replied and then his mouth was on Alec’s and all thoughts left his mind.

Alec had been kissed before, a lot. He’d kissed people who were okay kissers, bad kissers, and really good kissers, but he’d never kissed anyone like Magnus. Anyone who kissed as good as Magnus.

Alec’s brain emptied out immediately, he was barely aware of himself as Magnus’ lips brushed teasingly over his, soft and slow at first, nearly making Alec’s breath hitch. Alec’s hands slipped lower on Magnus’ waist, clutching at his hips, touching bare skin where his shirt rode up slightly as he stood on his toes to kiss Alec more firmly.

Magnus had complete control of the kiss, gripping Alec’s face and then running his hands through his hair. He deepened the kiss, tongue moving forward to part Alec’s lips. Alec’s heart raced as he kissed Magnus back, pushing him closer and leaning down so he didn’t have to stand on his toes.

Alec couldn’t remember the last time when just kissing someone had been so hot, as Magnus racked his nails against Alec’s scalp, their lips clashing with less grace now. Alec didn’t think, moving until his back met the nearest wall.

Magnus groaned, breaking away only long enough to mumble, “Good idea,” before going back to devouring Alec’s mouth.

When Magnus moved to kissing down his jaw and then to his neck, alternating between biting and licking, Alec let out a low moan, letting his eyes close and head fall back against the wall.

Alec’s hands moved idly, sliding under Magnus’ shirt and over his toned stomach, as Magnus moved to the other side of his neck. Alec’s hands wandered lower and he smirked when he brushed against the front of Magnus’ pants that were very obviously straining to contain something and Magnus let out a low groan.

Alec’s hands moved back up and Magnus bit his neck harder.

Alec laughed, gripping his hips once more and reversing their positions. Magnus somehow ended up with his legs around Alec’s waist, Alec’s hands on his — very nice — ass to hold him up. They shared a grin before Alec started returning the favor, kissing slowly along Magnus’ long neck.

When Magnus shifted slightly, tightening his legs and causing the first bit of friction, they both groaned.

"Bed?" Magnus suggested, voice breathy as his pulse raced where Alec was kissing along the side of his neck again.

“Bed,” Alec agreed.

***

“If—” Magnus started before breaking off in a shudder. Closing his eyes tightly, he licked his lips. “If you don’t stop looking at me like — ah — that, I’m not going to last long,” he admitted, shivering again as Alec worked his mouth over him.

It was official, there was nothing about this boy that wasn’t sinful, Magnus thought — well as well as he could “think” in the current situation. He opened his eyes again, and Alec was still looking up at him, eyes blown wide, long lashes brushing against his skin, head bobbing up and down slowly.

Magnus groaned, closing his eyes and banging his head back against the wall. They hadn’t made it all the way to the bed yet, which Magnus was only now regretting because he didn’t even have something to hold on to.

Alec swirled his tongue around Magnus’ tip. His mouth was too hot, too tight. And dear god, he looked far too innocent down on his knees before Magnus.

“I’m—” Magnus tried again. It was really hard to think with a beautiful stranger’s mouth on your cock, but Magnus gave it his all. “Serious,” he gasped out, arching his back as Alec pulled off until his lips were just brushing the tip before moving forward again. Magnus moaned, louder than intended and was suddenly glad he’d paid for the penthouse suite which was a safe distance away from everyone else in the hotel.

“So serious,” Magnus groaned again, torn between wanting to make things last and never wanting Alec to move away.

With one last swirl off his tongue, Alec pulled off with a ridiculous popping sound that under different, less lust filled circumstances, Magnus would’ve found funny. But in these circumstances only made Magnus groan again.

When Alec didn’t do anything else, leaving Magnus aching and regretting everything he’d ever said, Magnus opened his eyes.

Alec stared up at him, clearly trying to hide a grin, eyes puppy dog wide.

“What?” he asked, all faux innocence. “I thought you said you liked foreplay.”

Magnus smirked, trying to regain some composure while wanting nothing more than to beg Alec to put his mouth back on his cock. Taking a steadying breath, Magnus ran his hands through Alec’s messy hair. “Oh darling, you have no idea how much I love foreplay,” he said, both a threat and a promise.

***

Alec shivered, moaning softly. He gripped the sheets tighter, arching his back only to have Magnus push his hips back down. Alec practically growled which made Magnus laugh, sending waves of pleasure through Alec’s body.

Okay, Magnus hadn’t lied about the foreplay. Alec had no idea how much time had passed since they finally made it to the bed, but Magnus was nothing if not meticulous. He took his time, slowly undressing Alec and kissing along…everything. Alec had been desperately aching before Magnus so much as laid a finger on his throbbing cock.

Alec didn’t do a lot of things, he was very good at keeping his emotions in check, he was never loud in bed, never begged. But Magnus… Magnus tore moan after moan from his mouth, slowly and carefully pulling them from Alec. And when Magnus had first paused, mouth so close but not quite touching the right spot, Alec had come dangerously close to begging, before informing Magnus that he didn’t beg. To which Magnus had grinned, replying, “Oh darling, I have no doubt I could make you beg, if only we had more time.”

As Magnus licked along the bottom of his cock, one hand drawing lazy circles on Alec’s stomach in a way that was almost intimately sexy, Alec opened his mouth but instead of the words he’d been meaning to say, he released a whimper as Magnus abruptly pulled back entirely.

Magnus ran his hands up and down Alec’s thighs. When he opened his eyes, he found Magnus smirking. His perfectly jelled hair was a mess already, glitter all over Alec’s body. His eyeliner smeared under his eyes, mouth red. He looked wrecked. Alec’s cock twitched.

“Tsk, tsk,” Magnus whispered, pulling off his shirt that was completely open now all the way off. The necklaces had been discarded along with bracelets and rings before he’d joined Alec on the bed. Somehow the shirt had remained until now. “So impatient,” Magnus murmured, slowly moving up Alec’s body.

***

Magnus had been right, Alec’s abs were fantastic, possibly the best he’d ever seen and hello, he’d seen his own which were pretty impressive if he did say so himself. Which he did, frequently. Magnus had to admit, some of the time he’d spent kissing and licking up and down Alec’s abs hadn’t just been to torture him but because well, Alec’s abs deserved to be worshiped, quite frankly.

Even now, as Magnus finished sliding down Alec’s cock, shivering at the feeling of being filled and stretched, Magnus ran his painted nails up and down Alec’s abs.

“You have fantastic abs,” Magnus murmured, unable to stop himself as Alec struggled to control his breathing under him.

Alec laughed, his body shaking, making Magnus moan as he moved. “Right back at you,” Alec panted.

Magnus grinned, “I know.”

Magnus knew he should start moving, he really wanted to start moving, but dragging the moment out, torturing the beautiful Alec, also seemed like a good option. Moving up just the slightest bit before settling down again, making Alec’s breath hitch in a toe-curling way, Magnus smirked.

“So,” he said, continuing to run his hands over Alec’s abs. “What do you do? For a living,” Magnus asked casually.

Alec opened his eyes, glaring up at Magnus. “Really?” he asked.

Magnus shrugged, repeating the small movement of raising just an inch or two before going back down. Alec’s fists clenched in the sheets, making Magnus’ smile widen.

“Just trying to be friendly,” he replied, moving his hands up slowly, silently promising Alec’s abs that he’d be back, before casually rubbing Alec’s nipples. Alec let out a harsh breath.

“I’m in law school,” he finally hissed. “And if you don’t start moving I’m going to murder you and they’ll never know who did it.”

Magnus laughed, throwing his head back. “Violent,” he said, but listened nonetheless.

***

“Magnus,” Alec groaned, just minutes after finishing as the glittery man continued to kiss along his abs, biting here and there.

Magnus looked up, grinning an evil grin, “Yes darling?”

Alec rolled his eyes, noting the lust already clouding Magnus’ eyes again. “Already?” he asked.

Magnus shrugged. “Round two? There’s a gorgeous giant tub waiting behind those doors,” he said, pointing to the bathroom.

Alec groaned. He knew he should leave, he had an early class but when Magnus stood up, holding out his hand, Alec took it. What? This was possibly the best one night stand of his life; he was going to enjoy it.

***

Magnus was bored, drunk, and grumpy. Bored because Raphael wouldn’t let him have any fun. It was all “no Magnus” and “you can’t do that” and “let people do their jobs, don’t you have layouts to go over?”. Hello, he was the boss.

Drunk because well…it was ten o’clock at night, what else would he be doing but drinking? And grumpy because he’d had the best one night stand of his life — and that was saying something — and, to be honest, he wanted seconds.

Only he didn’t know how to get them. The pretty boy — Alec — had been gone by the time Magnus woke up — not unusual for a supposed one night stand — but it was before they could talk about possibly doing this again and while Magnus had his number… Magnus never texted for another hookup. Never. It was against his rules. He had some class after all. He wouldn’t be the one to go begging for more. Nope. No matter how much he wanted it.

And damn, he wanted it. He couldn’t get the pretty man’s eyes — or abs — out of his mind.

Grumbling to himself, Magnus finally gave in and texted Clary to go out with him, reminding her that as his intern, it was her sacred duty to stop him from doing stupid things. Raphael usually loved that job but Magnus was mad at him and refused to give the joy of it.

Clary texted back a moment later, asking where to meet and if she could bring Simon. Sighing, Magnus told her it was fine to bring Sherwin but he wasn’t getting paid for this. Adding to just meet him outside the office and see where the night took them.

Magnus swallowed the rest of his drink, slowly moving through the Bane Co. building. Clary had interned there a couple years before. She’d originally sought him out because he knew her mother, Jocelyn, and she needed an internship credit or something. She was studying art, but Magnus had minored in art and design and one of his jobs while moving up in the world, included, briefly, fashion design before he’d moved to journalism and started writing for various fashion magazines on his way up in the world. So Magnus had taught her everything he knew about art — which was quite a bit — and then moved onto life lessons. He needed a protégé to take over the world anyway and the tiny girl was amusing.

“Biscuit!” Magnus shouted cheerily a few minutes later as Simon and Clary stepped out of a cab. “Let’s find some trouble, shall we?”

***

Alec was dead on his feet, his head pounded, he’d barely slept the last few days and it was finally Friday which would’ve been more exciting if he had less work to do. Somehow, he still let Jace convince him to come out.

He didn’t think Jace meant to take him to a gay strip club though. He could be wrong, but he was too tired to find out. Even if he weren’t tired, strip clubs — even one’s full of gay men — weren’t exactly Alec’s thing.

“What are we doing here?” he yelled after collapsing into the nearest chair, at a table towards the back of the low building. It was dark inside, lit with blue fluorescent lights.

Jace shrugged, sitting down across from Alec and only looking mildly uncomfortable. Whereas Izzy had known long before Alec told her he was gay, Jace had been caught off guard. Of course, he’d been supportive, right away. Alec loved his adoptive brother for many reasons but that was near the top. Just ever since, and that was years ago, he’d started trying to hook Alec up with any guy possible — and he had a horrible instinct when it came to whether someone was interested in guys or not.

Alec raised an eyebrow, accepting the beer that a man clad only in a thong delivered him.

Jace shifted, taking the other beer and downing a long gulp, eyes avoiding all scantily clad men. “What?” he said, “I just thought, you know, you could use a distraction for the night? Relax a little. Izzy’s worried.”

“Izzy’s always worried,” Alec cut in. He loved Isabelle to death but it was true.

Jace nodded in agreement. “Yeah, but this is different. You’re working too hard.”

Alec shook his head. He hadn’t slept much recently and had been spending more time than ever in the library, it was true, but they always thought he was working too hard. Not that Alec’s siblings didn’t work hard too — Izzy was still in college, majoring in some fancy science that confused Alec and Jace had graduated with a degree in business and opened his own small martial arts gym — but they always saved time for partying and relaxing too. Alec didn’t. He was in his last year of law school and after everything with their parents the last few years… Alec had to stay on top of things. He had no choice.

They sat there for a bit, Jace going back and forth between staring at his phone and looking around the room uncomfortably. Alec was enjoying watching Jace squirm more than the — extremely attractive — men swinging around on stripper poles. Really Jace, a gay strip club? Really? As much as Alec loved Jace, sometimes he wanted to ask his brother if he’d ever even met Alec. This wasn’t some place Alec would even go by himself, let alone with his straight brother.

Jace stood up abruptly, bumping into the table and nearly spilling Alec’s beer.

“What?” Alec asked, frowning.

Jace pointed in a random direction. “This is a strip club, right? I’m going to buy you a lap-dance!”

Alec’s eyes widened, his heart stopped. “Wait, what?” he blurted out as Jace turned and made his way to the bar. Alec sat there for a minute, contemplating running away. Yeah, he should run away.

***

Magnus was drunk. Really drunk. Stupidly drunk. Luckily, he was smart and sophisticated enough to make a very good drunk person. Mostly.

He leaned against the bar, talking with the bartender off and on. Clary and Simon had disappeared outside, needing “air” a few minutes before. Probably because Magnus had tried to buy Sherwin a lap dance and he’d panicked. So, basically, it wasn’t Magnus’ fault when he made a stupid decision.

Some very awkward, but moderately handsome, blond came up to the bar, all but casually asking the bartender who to see for a lap dance. Magnus nearly spat out his drink before swiftly turning to the blond.

Magnus looked him up and down slowly, he wasn’t horrible looking, had that whole chiseled jaw thing going on, pretty eyes that were two different colors. And Magnus was just drunk enough to open his mouth. “I’ll give you a lap dance,” he said, grinning sultry. “For free.”

***

Alec didn’t run away because he couldn’t just leave Jace…could he? He’d just refuse. It’d be fine. Or he could leave after all… Before he could make up his mind though, Jace was on his way back. Alec relaxed when he realized no scantily clad man followed him.

All the relief evaporated the moment Jace sat down. Behind him, walking just close enough for Alec not to have seen him right away, was Magnus.

Alec blinked a few times to be sure what he was seeing. His wild and crazy one night stand — who admittedly hadn’t left his head as soon as he left like every other random hook up Alec had ever had — stood right there, dressed in tight black pants and a long silky green shirt, that covered more of his chest than the last outfit Alec had seen him in. Already his hair had changed, blue streaks replaced with red. There were just as many necklaces around his neck and smeared eyeliner under his eyes.

Alec frowned, Magnus was a stripper? “You’re a stripper?” Alec asked just as Magnus seemed to focus in on and recognize Alec, a smirk crossing his face as he purred, “Hello, handsome.”

Jace frowned but just headed back to the bar with a soft, “Have fun.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, before smirking again. “For you, I’ll be anything, darling.”

Alec was still frowning, not sure what to do when faced with practically a stranger, who he’d slept with and hadn’t stopped thinking about if he was honest with himself, literally sitting in his lap. As Magnus did, without hesitating.

“Your boyfriend paid me for a dance,” Magnus whispered, leaning close, breath warm against Alec’s ear.

“He’s my brother,” Alec said quickly, grimacing.

Magnus grinned, “I know, just checking that you don’t actually have a boyfriend, right?”

“Shouldn’t you have asked that the other night?” Alec said, voice low. Hands resting on Magnus’ hips without thought.

Magnus laughed, a loud breathy sound and Alec only then realized that he was very, very drunk. The smell was hidden with the overall stench of alcohol in this place but Magnus’ pupils were dilated and he was wobbling in Alec’s lap — and not in a sexy way. Alec didn’t notice when he wrapped an arm around Magnus’ waist to make sure he didn’t fall over.

“Probably,” Magnus conceded, staring deeply into Alec’s eyes. “But I was a liiitle distracted. Do you want to be distracted?”

Alec opened his mouth but Magnus pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him. He ran his hand down Alec’s chest, across his stomach, brushing just low enough to touch his belt before moving back up.

Alec nodded slowly.

“Good,” Magnus said, leaning close to whisper in Alec’s ear once more, sending a shiver down Alec’s back. “Now stop talking and let me do what I was paid to do.”

***

Magnus might not have actually been a stripper, but he could do an amazing lap dance if he did say so himself — which he did, often. However, when Clary and Simon walked back in as Magnus was finishing up — his lap dance taking a little more time than one would normally last but Magnus was a giver — well, that was a little awkward.

When Magnus was done, he leaned in close to Alec, who’s eyes had dilated. “Call me,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the area just behind his ear before moving away.

Okay, Magnus hadn’t really broken the rule, he did not call Alec for a booty call. He didn’t even know Alec was the one he was going to give a lap dance to when he’d agreed to it. Still, to make sure he wasn’t seeming too needy, Magnus refused to look back even though he really wanted to. Grabbing Clary and Shawn and heading for the exit, nearly tripping in his heeled boots.

***

Alec never went back for seconds. A one night stand was for one night only, nothing more. Alec didn’t want more. He never did. He didn’t want a relationship. Just easy, no strings attached, one night stands. When you went back once then you went back again and again and before you knew it someone had feelings for someone and there were strings everywhere and a giant mess to clean up in the end.

Even when he’d gotten drunken late night texts. Even when he was desperate and it would’ve been easier. Alec never went back. Ever.

So why couldn’t he stop thinking of Magnus?

Two days had passed since the strip club but he hadn’t stopped thinking of him since the night of their hookup. It wasn’t his fault… Magnus was…was beautiful. And — and funny. Alec had never had a one night stand where he was laughing all night. Had never had one he thought about again and again for days after. And, he added to reassure himself while he should’ve been studying, the sex was…beyond amazing. That was the real reason he kept thinking about Magnus, he thought. Which was a bad thought for many reasons and a good one for one. It gave him an excuse. Made him think, just one more time, get Magnus out of his system. Easy.

Alec had opened his phone and pulled up Magnus’ number before he caught himself. Tossing the phone across his small apartment Alec shook his head before heading to the bathroom. He needed a cold shower. Immediately.

***

“Shella!” Magnus called, leaning back in his computer chair that was big and dramatic looking, designed like an evil overlord would be sitting in it. Which Magnus kind of was. Okay he wasn’t that evil, but he could be, if he wanted too.

Simon came rushing in from his desk outside where he’d been using two pens to play air drums. “Yes, Mr. Bane?” Simon asked.

Magnus liked to make Simon call him that while at work, like “forgetting” Simon’s name, it made things more entertaining. Magnus spun a little in his chair, briefly glancing over the computer screens behind him.

“Entertain me, Sarah,” he said, waving a hand about.

Simon frowned, “How?”

Magnus sighed. “By doing your job,” he said turning to face Simon again. “I don’t know, tell me about your band or something, before I fire you,” he added, watching the color drain from Simon’s face though he should’ve known by then that Magnus wasn’t going to fire him. If he hadn’t fired Samuel when he broke the copier or when he spilled coffee on Magnus’ layouts OR when accidentally fired three people, he wasn’t going to fire him for anything. Of course, it was fun to hold the fact that he could over his minion’s heads. Simon was a surprisingly good minion though, hence Magnus keeping him.

As Sherry opened his mouth, spewing random details about something called “Cat’s Hairball” Magnus zoned out.

Magnus hated that his mind immediately turned to dark hair, hazel eyes, and such kissable lips. But it did and well, if he was already going to hate himself because he kept thinking of Alec, he may as well make it count.

Okay, so maybe he’d spent the last three days hoping Alec would call after his drunken lap dance that, in Magnus’ best moments, he was slightly ashamed of and regretted. But—but that was just because Magnus needed to scratch the itch again and who better to help him? It was just because Magnus had kind of made a fool out of himself but at least it would be worth it if Alec called.

Magnus wouldn’t call. He’d gone so far as to leave his cell phone at work the night before so he wouldn’t get drunk and desperate and call. Magnus did not call one night stands, they called Magnus.

“Anyway, we’re really getting good now. Even Clary thinks so,” Simon finished.

Magnus blinked, only just remembering he was there. He gave Simon his best ‘oh honey’ look, before waving him away. “Congrats,” he said dryly. “You’re a terrible distraction but you can keep your job for one more day if you rename your band.”

Simon’s mouth dropped open in shock but he followed Magnus’ shooing gesture and left.

Magnus sighed, closing the project he’d been working on and starting to shift through all the papers that were stacking up on his desk. He was supposed to meet Catarina for lunch soon to go over more details for her new venture, but he could attempt to get some real work done first. Or pawn it off on Raphael…

Magnus glanced up, staring into Raphael’s office that was on the other side of the floor, he found the other man pacing and decided it would not be wise to interrupt. Sighing, Magnus pulled out a pen and got to work.

He was nearly late for lunch, checking his phone on the elevator ride down. He was the only one in the elevator as it was his private one — that wasn’t so private considering Clary, Simon (begrudgingly at least), Cat and Raphael all used it even though it clearly stated for Magnus Bane’s private use. He finished checking his message and was slipping the phone away when it buzzed in his hand.

Pushing off the back wall as the doors opened, his tall boots that made a satisfying sound on the linoleum floor, Magnus strutted out of the elevator in his “business” outfit of slacks and a black jacket over a bright purple shirt showing just a bit of chest.

Magnus’s eyes ran over the message quickly as he spotted Cat waiting by the receptionist’s desk. Then Magnus stopped, glancing at his phone again and reading the message more slowly.

It was simple really, one word, but it made Magnus grin as a giddy feeling filled his gut.

_Tonight?_

Magnus quickly typed out a reply. _Just say when and where, darling._

***

The second time, if possible, was even better than the first. And okay, maybe Alec was weaker than he meant to be, or a little shameless. But he gave in to the thoughts running rapid in his head. It was basically an endless loop of Magnus, Magnus, Magnus. If possible, made even worse by that little lap dance.

Besides thoughts of sex, it also left Alec with a lot of questions. Did Magnus work at the strip club? For some reason, Alec had pictured him with some big wig cooperate job or a fashion designer, something important or outlandish. But striper? Then again, Alec didn’t exactly have a lot of experience with strippers so what did he know?

If he’d intended to ask any questions, they immediately left his mind as Alec opened the door to his apartment, having just enough time to register Magnus in a nice dark, shiny blue suit with a black button-up unbuttoned dangerously low, tight pants, perfect hair and makeup before he was being pushed back into his own apartment.

Magnus slammed the door behind him, grabbing onto Alec’s sweater and pulling him in and down slightly. The second their lips met it was fire roaring through his veins, electricity dancing along his fingertips as their tongues warred for dominance. Alec’s hands gripped Magnus’ hips, pulling him close, already growing hard.

All the worries and stress that had been building up in Alec all week, melted away and it was like he didn’t have a single worry in the world as Magnus gripped him harder, pushing him back against the nearest wall. Which happened to be a bookcase.

“Ow,” Alec mumbled, pulling away just for a second before diving back for Magnus’ mouth like it was oxygen and he was drowning.

Magnus pulled back, panting, hands moving to the hem of Alec’s shirt. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

“Perfect,” Alec replied and it wasn’t a lie as Magnus nodded, pulling up Alec’s shirt and throwing it somewhere behind him. Alec’s hands slipped, unbuttoning the last few buttons on Magnus’ shirt.

Magnus laughed and Alec swallowed the sound, quickly moving their mouths back together. His whole body was on fire and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He’d never felt like this before, pulling Magnus closer as Magnus strained to get closer himself. Alec wasn’t aware of much beyond the need to feel Magnus everywhere, closer, closer, closer.

Magnus moved his mouth, trailing kisses down Alec’s throat. He let out a guttural groan when Magnus started kissing and biting his neck, palming him through his jeans.

“Like that?” Magnus pulled back long enough to ask.

All Alec could do was nod.

“Do you have a bed?” Magnus asked, appearing far too calm as he slowed down, moving to the other side of Alec’s neck, rubbing slowly up against Alec.

Alec nodded, throwing his head back as Magnus slowly rutted against him. Breath coming ragged, Alec swallowed, only just managing to blurt out. “Couch, it’s closer.”

Magnus nipped at his ear before pulling back with a giggle. “My, my, Alec,” Magnus practically purred, leaning close so his breath brushed Alec’s ear. Alec’s whole focus was on Magnus’ left hand that was wandering back down his bare chest, and inching dangerously lower. His fingers brushed across the front of Alec’s pants, making him jump slightly. “Aren’t we in a rush?”

Alec was too busy, too far gone, to even care that Magnus’ low, hoarse voice had him whimpering. “Yeeees.”

***

Magnus left before Alec woke up. He’d woken on Alec’s bed before the sun had even risen that morning, naked, his clothes strewn around Alec’s living room, and all the right places perfectly sore. He’d laid there, Alec warm next to him, their bodies just barely touching for a few minutes, replaying the night in his mind before crawling from bed, haphazardly throwing his clothes on and leaving. He had early meetings and would just barely have enough time to go home and change.

Magnus grinned the whole way home, it was totally worth being a little late.

Magnus convinced himself all through the next week that that was the last time. He’d gotten it out of his system and he wouldn’t go back again. Sure, it was good, really, _really_ good. Toe curling good. And okay, occasionally his mind wandered to Alec, his abs, what exactly the man did, why he wanted to be a lawyer. And oh, was he meeting up with some other one night stand right now? Magnus wasn’t jealous at the thought, just envious. No one had ever made Magnus shiver the way Alec did.

But…he’d totally fucked Alec out of his system. Two nights was more than enough. It was over. Done. No more. It, he, was out of Magnus’ system. Yup. Forever.

Magnus lasted a week and a half. Any time Alec popped in his head he shut the thoughts off before he could start remembering what it felt like to be pressed close to him, no clothes in their way. Or how the smallest touch of his lips set Magnus on fire. Nope. He briefly day dreamed about Alec’s abs and then moved on.

And then he was at the office late again one night and he was bored and he tried to use the hookup app, he did. But no one was appealing. Magnus forced himself to finished editing this issue of the magazine’s cover story written by the lovely Maia and straightened up his office. Then he told himself he’d go out, have a drink, maybe find someone appealing.

Instead, he got to the elevator before giving up all pretense that he wasn’t going to do what he’d known all week he was going to do.

He texted Alec.

***

Alec hadn’t been thinking about Magnus. He’d been too busy studying for thoughts of anything else to enter his mind. He hadn’t been hoping for his phone to go off with a text from Magnus and when it finally came he did not jump on it, replying in thirty seconds flat asking nothing more than, how fast can you get here?

Nope. Because if Alec did all those things he’d be pathetic and breaking his rules. If seconds were forbidden, Alec had never even considered having a third night with the same man. But…but this was _Magnus_.

Alec was ready, on edge, just thinking about him on his way over.

Okay. He was pathetic, it was official. But not even Isabelle would blame him for this one — not that she would be finding out about this. Alec drew the line at telling his nosy sister about his hookups, not to mention if she knew he’d had anything more than a one night stand her first question would be “when are you getting married?”.

Alec busied himself with his textbooks, telling himself he had to finish this before Magnus arrived to make it an okay thing to happen.

When a knock came on his door half an hour later, Alec was reading the same sentence.

The door was barely open for a second before their lips were touching. The door barely shut before Magnus’ legs were wrapped around him. Alec didn’t think about studying once all night.

***

Magnus felt no shame. He felt that maybe he should feel a little shame, but he couldn’t bring himself too. There were a few reasons for this, first Magnus didn’t believe in being ashamed of anything he did. Sure, he had his not so great moments, but even they eventually turned into funny stories to tell. The second was that it would be a shame to feel ashamed for something that made him feel soooo good.

The fifth or sixth night — which happened not even three weeks after the first as once the third happened it was really all downhill with no pretenses as to what was going to happen again a night or two later — Magnus finally decided to broach the subject. He’d had time to decide what he wanted now that he’d stopped acting like this was a one-off thing — not one of their six or seven nights together had been a one off if you know what he means. And Magnus had never been the kind of person not to go after or clearly state what he wanted.

“I think it’s clear where this is heading Alec,” Magnus finally said.

“Hopefully to some horizontal location soon,” Alec replied, barely pulling back from where he was working on Magnus’ neck.

“Dirty,” Magnus whispered. He’d arrived at Alec’s earlier that night, getting his first good look around the small apartment that was mostly bare save for the wall to wall bookshelves covered in books. He had a couch pressed against the wall under a small window — where Magnus was currently sitting on Alec — a few chairs across a coffee table. Across from the living room was a small wide open kitchen that looked nice from what Magnus had seen, outfitted with expensive appliances and a big dining room table they may have used once for an unintended purpose. Down a small hallway was a bedroom and bathroom, Magnus had spent time in both.

As soon as Magnus had arrived that night he’d pushed Alec down on the couch before climbing on top of him. They unsurprisingly hadn’t had a lot of time to talk over the last couple weeks. Magnus thought now was a good time, both half hard from kissing, Alec slowly working along his neck.

Alec bit down hard on the sensitive skin under Magnus’ jaw, making him hiss slightly before kissing over it. “I think we should just be honest,” Magnus finally said, swallowing a moan. No one should be that good at kissing someone’s neck.

“Oh yeah?” Alec whispered, hoarse voice doing terrible things to Magnus. “Well, to be honest, I’d like you to be quiet so I can focus on what I’m doing here.”

Magnus laughed, shifting his hips enough to make Alec moan. And then well, Magnus got a little distracted for a bit. Before he knew it, he was struggling to catch his breath in Alec’s bed, staring up at the dark ceiling.

“How’s that for honesty?” Alec asked after he’d recovered slightly, reminding Magnus of their previous conversation.

Magnus reached out, hitting him lightly, he may as well not have tried though, to worn out to do anything more than nudge Alec.

“That was pathetic,” Alec taunted.

“I’ll show you pathetic,” Magnus chirped back without pause, making Alec chuckle. It was a nice sound, Alec’s laugh.

“I look forward to it,” Alec replied, getting to his feet and disappearing into the bathroom for a minute. When he came back, he threw Magnus a wet washcloth before climbing back into bed.

Magnus cleaned himself up and slipped back into his boxers before climbing back in next to Alec. “I think we should make it official,” he finally said, fully confident that once he presented his case to Alec, he’d have no choice but to agree.

Magnus burst out laughing when he looked over as Alec jerked up in bed. The look on his face — Magnus bent over, trying to contain his laughter. Alec looked like he’d seen a ghost or just found out he’d gotten a girl pregnant.

“What?” Alec finally asked, folding his arms. “What’s so funny?”

When Magnus finally got himself under control and looked back up it was hard not to start all over again, Alec’s face was carefully blank but Magnus could still see the panic hiding in his eyes.

“Not that kind of official, darling,” Magnus finally said, taking pity on the younger man. Alec’s frown deepened and Magnus resisted the urge to kiss it away. “I meant, we should just say what this is, we’re fuck buddies.”

Alec opened his mouth but Magnus held a finger to his lips, moving close and shushing him. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Alec,” he said, all but climbing into his lap again. Running his hands up and down Alec’s chest, looking right in his eyes as he spoke. “All it means is an easy hookup whenever, where ever,” he continued, lowering his voice and leaning forward until there was only a breath of space between them. Alec’s beautiful eyes closed, lashes dark against his skin.

Magnus pressed the smallest kiss to his lips before pulling back.

“No strings,” he added. “It lasts as long as it lasts, you can hook up with whoever else you want. This is just to…scratch the itch when needed. A nice, relaxing activity. We’re just admitting now that these little one night stands can happen as frequently as we like.”

Magnus smirked as Alec’s eyes flickered back open. Then he moved away entirely, so that not an inch of their bodies touched. He looked Alec in the eyes again before saying, in full sincerity, “But only if you want too.”

Alec eyed Magnus for a moment, seeming to think before shrugging. “Sounds good to me,” he smirked.

***

Really, it wasn’t like Alec could say no when Magnus had offered. No strings attached, just sex. Alec had never considered himself weak before, even when he was feverishly trying to deny his sexuality. That changed when faced with the prospect of Magnus. Of unlimited access to this. Even if he’d wanted too, he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

Magnus showed up later than usual that night, which was fine with Alec because he was still up studying when the doorbell rang.

As soon as he’d opened the door, Magnus moved inside, throwing his coat off to the side and grabbing Alec’s hand, leading him straight back to Alec’s room.

Alec smirked to himself but didn’t say anything until Magnus pushed him down on the bed, climbing in on top of him.

“It hasn’t even been a day,” Alec said, laughing as Magnus straddled his hips, quickly pulling Alec’s shirt off before leaning down and kissing his neck. “Desperate?” Alec teased, shivering as Magnus’ hands ran down his sides.

“You’re desperate,” Magnus said, pulling back and sending a pointed look down Alec’s body where his cock was stirring to life already in his thin sweats.

“Shut up,” Alec said, lunging up and capturing Magnus’ lips.

“Make me,” Magnus muttered, grinding down against Alec.

Alec growled, moving swiftly and turning them so he was on top of Magnus. “Gladly,” he smirked.

***

“So needy,” Magnus muttered as Alec pressed closer to him. Magnus leaned back against the wall using the little leverage he had while gripping onto Alec’s arms to rub their still clothed erections together, making Alec moan against him.

“You’re needy,” Alec grumbled back, slowly kissing over the spot on Magnus’ neck he’d been biting. “Let’s not forget who gave who a lap dance and practically begged them to call him.”

Magnus giggled. “Let’s not forget who called who for seconds,” he replied. “And in my defense, I was drunk and just agreed to give a random stranger a free lap dance, I didn’t know it was going to be you.”

Alec chuckled. “Free lap dance? Jace didn’t pay you?”

Magnus rolled his eyes, he was half naked and ready to go here and that’s what Alec wanted to talk about? Magnus shrugged, moving his head closer and biting Alec’s neck. “He offered to pay but I’m not a stripper, I was just trying to give back to the community, you know?” he said, licking over the same spot on Alec’s neck.

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh when Alec pulled back quickly, looking confused. “Please tell me you didn’t think I was a stripper?” Magnus asked, trying not to laugh.

Alec blushed and Magnus’ already aching cock twitched.

“ _Really?_ ” Magnus asked.

“So what do you do then?” Alec asked quickly, changing the subject.

Magnus smirked, releasing his grip on Alec and sliding back to the ground. He grabbed Alec’s hand, walking backward towards Alec’s room. “Right now? You,” he said, happy when Alec’s eyes narrowed and he followed after Magnus without another word.

***

“You have so many big textbooks,” Magnus observed, walking around Alec’s apartment in nothing but a pair of Alec’s sweats that hung dangerously low on Magnus’ hips. It was the middle of the night and they were starving so Alec was making a quick batch of pancakes at — he glanced at the clock — three in the morning.

Alec glanced into the living room to see Magnus flipping through one of the big textbooks before going back to the pancakes and expertly flipping them. “That’s what lawyers are known for,” he teased. “Their big textbooks.”

Alec glanced over hurriedly at the sound of Magnus choking on his drink. Magnus coughed, moving towards the kitchen counter with a strange twinkle in his eyes. “Was that an innuendo, Alexander?” Magnus asked, hand over his heart. “And a terrible one at that.”

Alec rolled his eyes, then paused. “What did you call me?” he asked.

Magnus smirked. He moved fully into the kitchen and Alec’s eyes did not wander to his hips. “ _Alexander Lightwood_ ,” Magnus all but purred and well that was a new feeling going through Alec as Magnus hoisted himself up onto the counter behind him. “It was written in one of your books,” Magnus explained. “Fancy name.”

Alec rolled his eyes, moving the pancakes to a plate before adding another scoop of batter to the pan. “No one calls me Alexander,” he said.

“Why Alec?” Magnus asked.

Alec frowned, confused. “Most would shorten it to Alex,” Magnus explained.

Alec nodded, before shrugging. “I don’t know, I think Izzy started it.”

“Izzy?” Magnus asked but he said it in a way that made it obvious that Alec didn’t have to answer unless he wanted too. They’d been doing this for a month now and this was one of the first times they’d really talked. Which was strange if Alec thought about it much, he’d been sleeping with a man for a month and didn’t even know his last name. With another shrug, he explained, “Isabelle, my little sister.”

Magnus nodded. “Let me guess, you’re an overly protective big brother?”

Alec snorted. “Yeah sure, when she lets me.”

Magnus laughed, throwing his head back and the sight of his bared neck, speckled still with marks Alec had left there, distracted Alec, pulling his attention from the pancakes.

Magnus smirked, noticing Alec’s attention. He set the juice glass, full of wine Magnus had found that Izzy had left there at some point, next to him and beckoning Alec closer with one finger.

Alec stepped closer, Magnus parted his legs before hooking his feet behind Alec and bringing him in close. Alec’s mind went blank as Magnus rested his hands on Alec’s shoulders, rubbing them slightly.

“So, tell me, Alexander,” Magnus said, and every time he said Alec’s full name it was practically a purr, making it no easier to think. “Why a lawyer?”

Alec’s eyes had been locked on Magnus’, now they strayed to his mouth, across his cheekbones that were still speckled with glitter even after showering. Alec had been struck the first time he saw Magnus without makeup, because he was so beautiful, both with and without it. Now, Alec was used to it. Magnus always arrived with makeup on but by the end of the night he’d washed it off. Some nights Magnus just slept there, other’s he still insisted on going home. Alec liked those better, it was easier to remember what they were when Magnus left right after. Not that he’d started forgetting or anything. He was just…starting to get used to this and not sure what to do with that.

Or with this, the playfulness — though there’d always been a bit of that, even in bed —, the questions and teasing tone that didn’t quite mask the earnestness behind them. So instead of answering truthfully, Alec smirked. “So I can get you off,” he replied in a low voice.

Magnus’ eyes widened, brightening, and before he could laugh, Alec pressed forward, bringing their lips together roughly. Alec kissed him thoroughly, until he’d forgotten all about Magnus’ questions and was sure Magnus had too. He only pulled back when he smelled something burning.

“Pancakes!” Alec shouted, pulling away all at once as Magnus started laughing behind him.

Then the fire alarm started going off and between getting it to stop and helping Alec clean up the mess of burnt pancakes Magnus found the time to make another joke. “I always knew I was hot,” he said, standing on the counter and waving a towel around under the smoke detector to get it to turn off. “But it’s clear my hotness has reached a new height, setting off smoke detectors. I should really be more careful,” he remarked.

Alec bit back a laugh, pulling out a new pan and starting the pancakes from scratch. “Yeah,” he said. “You wouldn’t want to accidentally burn anyone.”

***

Magnus paced throughout his loft, wondering at what exactly he was doing, breaking rules left and right. But he still couldn’t find it in him to really care. Every aspect of his life had been good recently, work had ceased being boring as he helped Catarina set up her new venture. Sherman had gotten more entertaining again as he somehow set his desk on fire. Even Raphael had been less miserable recently.

Of course, it helped that meeting up with a certain messy haired man at least twice a week put Magnus in an overall better mood.

But now…

Magnus sighed, seizing pacing. The problem was that this didn’t feel like a problem.

Magnus flopped down on his bed that was in the middle of the large, wide open loft. It was a large square space, one corner held the kitchen and a small dining table. One held the living area, with mismatched yet perfectly handpicked furniture. His bed was in the middle of the other half, racks and shelves of clothes filled the corner near the windows while the bathroom was the only closed off room against the final wall. Magnus had very carefully picked out this place, he loved how it was all one big open space and he redecorated constantly, currently the walls were a dark purple. He also loved the giant balcony off to the side and spent most nights out there with his laptop.

Magnus sighed. The thing was, Magnus had texted Alec his address. Magnus never brought hookups to his house. It seemed he was just breaking rule after rule for this boy. Luckily, Magnus had also learned a new trick. It turned out, Alec really, really liked being called Alexander in bed. Magnus, of course, being a good human, used this to his full advantage. For both their sakes.

***

Alec had never put a ton of thought into it, where Magnus lived and the fact that he’d never been there, but he was surprised when Magnus texted him an address that night. For once he hadn’t been home studying even though he had an endless number of exams coming up not to mention taking the bar which was still a while off but getting uncomfortably nearer. Still, Alec had been avoiding his siblings a lot so he’d agreed to go out with them that night.

He was well into his third beer and arguing with Jace over the fact that he did not need his brother to find him someone to go home with, when he got the text.

Isabelle was just making her way back from the bar with Clary — Jace’s girlfriend of a few months — trailing behind her with her best friend, Simon or something.

Alec glanced at his phone, barely bothering to read the message all the way through before standing up. “Gotta go,” he said, not even aware of the fact that it never occurred to him to say no. To stay. To miss one night with Magnus.

“What? You can’t leave yet, we’ve barely started!” Isabelle complained, then she stopped for a minute, tilting her head to the side in a way that Alec hated because it meant she was on to something — usually something he didn’t want her to know.

“Who just texted you?” Isabelle asked.

Alec slipped his phone into his pocket, meeting his sister’s gaze head on. “No one,” he said firmly.

Isabelle clearly wasn’t buying it, already opening her mouth to say something else.

“You have been acting weird, recently, you know?” Jace said suddenly.

“You have,” Izzy added immediately turning to Jace. “He’s never around right?”

“Yeah. And he’s been smiling like, a lot,” Jace added in a tone that clearly said he found that gross.

Izzy turned to Alec slowly, a smirk crossing her face. “Which usually means you’ve either just finished a really good book or,” she added, eyes twinkling under the bad lighting in the club. “You’re getting some.”

Jace wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Regularly,” Isabelle added.

Alec felt himself flush a bright red, he couldn’t help it with four pairs of eyes on him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said firmly.

“Uh huh,” Isabelle said grinning broadly. “What’s his name?”

“Who’s name?” Alec asked then shook his head. “I’m leaving now. There’s no him. I can smile sometimes you know,” he added, downing the rest of his beer before moving away from their little table.

“You may as well tell me,” Isabelle shouted after him like some crazy person. “You know I’ll find out anyway!”

Alec waved over his shoulder, ignoring her as his mind turned fully towards Magnus.

When Alec got to Magnus’, the lights were low and there was music on in the background. Magnus’ apartment looked just like Alec thought it would, so obviously Magnus. Fancy artwork on the walls, random bits of shimmery fabric all over. A dark red, velvety blanket on his obscenely large bed.

Alec had a moment to wonder at what exactly Magnus did for a living because he clearly wasn’t a stripper, or strippers made better money than Alec knew because this place was in an expensive part of town and filled with everything someone with Magnus’ tastes would need.

Alec didn’t have long to look it over as Magnus pressed a glass into his hands and moved him to the couch. Alec opened his mouth to ask something but his question was swallowed by Magnus’ lips. Even though they’d kissed a lot — like a whole lot — over the last weeks, Alec still was constantly surprised by how good it felt. Magnus’ lips warm and soft against his, so completely and easily erasing everything from his mind.

Magnus stood up, hovering over him, running his hands through Alec’s hair and staring down at him with lust darkened eyes.

“Don’t move,” Magnus finally said, pressing a down right dirty kiss to Alec’s parted lips before turning away.

Alec watched with a small frown as Magnus moved a few steps away before turning back, a small smirk on his face. He was dressed in dark purple slacks, a sinfully tight violet button up that highlighted just how big Magnus’ arms actually were. A tie and a dark vest completed the look. As Alec watched, eyes growing wider, Magnus turned the volume on the speakers up and started dancing. Slowly. Hypnotically.

Mouth suddenly dry, eyes locked on Magnus’ swirling hips, Alec took a sip of his drink, wincing slightly at how much alcohol was in it. When he looked up, Magnus’ narrowed eyes were on him and he slowly smirked, knowing exactly what he was doing to Alec as he reached up, undoing his tie and throwing it away. He never stopped dancing, slowly unbuttoning his vest and then his shirt, moving closer to Alec.

Alec could honestly say he’d never seen something nearly as sexy as this, Magnus dancing for him, stripping slowly.

His mind went blank and fuzzy, eyes locked on Magnus, moving from his face where his eyes were setting Alec on fire from the inside out, back to his hips that were doing hypnotizing things.

By the time Magnus had taken off his shirt, Alec had lost all track of time and couldn’t form a sensible thought if he tried.

He watched intently as Magnus’ long fingers moved to his belt, slowly undoing it and slipping it off. Alec was torn between wanting to jump up and make quick work of the few items of clothing Magnus had left and not wanting his little strip tease to end. Ever.

He settled with sitting back, finishing off his drink, and watching Magnus closely. The world could’ve been on fire and Alec never would’ve noticed nor cared. When Magnus had finally, painstakingly slowly, taken off his pants, he moved close, grabbing Alec’s glass and moving it somewhere off to the side.

Alec’s heart thudded in his chest as Magnus ran a hand through his hair, gripping the back of his head and bringing him close. Alec was wound so tightly, so hot after watching Magnus he thought for sure he’d explode the moment their lips touched but somehow he managed to keep breathing. The angle was awkward, Magnus still standing above him before he quickly moved to straddle Alec. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus, bringing him in close.

They were a mess of lips and tongues, roaming hands. Now that Magnus was touching him Alec couldn’t help himself, pulling him in close, running his hands up and down Magnus’ back, quickly moving from his lips down his jaw and to his neck, then lower.

Magnus was quickly panting, hands shaking as he got his hands under Alec’s shirt, tugging it up and over Alec’s head, Alec grudgingly moved his lips away from Magnus’ skin long enough to do so, before losing himself in Magnus once again. Something that was quickly becoming one of his favorite things.

***

Magnus held in an exclamation as he sneakily caught a Pikachu on his phone, hidden safely behind a folder full of boring papers he probably should’ve been looking over while listening to members of the board go on and on.

There was nothing Magnus hated more than meetings with his board, someone was always trying to overthrow him or convince him to leave the company and let someone new take over. Or else they were trying to kill him with endless chatter. It was times like these that made Magnus question his decision to start Bane Co. in the first place.

Luckily, while most the board members hated him — especially Camille who was only there because of her rich father — he was on great terms with one key figure: Tessa. She usually saved him from doing anything stupid, had saved his ass when an email hack nearly forced him to step down, and always filled him in on things he missed by not paying attention.

He’d gone into this meeting in a good mood, prepared to agree with the snotty nosed board members, even kiss ass where necessary just to keep them off his back, but that was hours before. He was hungry and cranky and didn’t understand why they couldn’t just leave him alone to run his company.

Magnus caught himself as he closed out of Pokémon — something Sheldon had gotten him addicted too — and pulled up his messenger app. He’d pulled up Alec’s name before he realized what he was doing, when he did he quickly closed out of it, heart constricting in his chest for a moment. What was he doing? Was that even allowed? Texting your fuck buddy? Probably right…? But only if you were friends before. It was better not to. Definitely.

“Magnus?”

Magnus glanced up, feeling like he’d just be caught doing something wrong, eyes wide, heart racing, to see…an empty room. Tessa stood at the other end of the long conference table, the only other person in the clean, perfect, way too bland room.

Tessa gave him a small smile, asking, “Everything okay, Magnus?”

Magnus nodded, standing up and gathering his laptop and various papers. “Oh yes, perfect, just zoned out for a moment, dear,” he said, ignoring the pounding in his heart.

“Lunch?” Magnus offered, ignoring any unwanted thoughts he may have had but probably didn’t. He was simply bored, hadn’t slept enough the night before. And he was starving, everyone had strange thoughts when they were starving. Thoughts like how he wished he could say Alec was his friend. How he wanted to get to know him better. Maybe even talk to him when they weren’t naked. Crazy thoughts like that.

Magnus nearly dropped his phone at lunch when Alec texted him a picture of a cranky looking old man, captioned simply: _I think my professor is trying to kill us with the power of his boring voice and endless useless facts. Save me._

***

Alec had put this off for as long as he possibly could, every time the date he’d set himself crawled up on him; he pushed it back. Again, and again. Because, honestly? It was one of the last things he wanted to do. For the exact reason of this conversation which he’d known would come up the second they sat down and had done his very best to avoid.

At the end of it, it was Izzy who forced his hand. “I know you don’t like these things, Alec. I know you can’t stand to be around them, even more since Max…but you have to do this.” She’d said that with her best ‘I know what’s best for you so listen to me’ voice and wide puppy dog eyes. Alec had never been able to say no to his siblings. Even when it came to things he hated, like peas or clubbing or you know things that might cause imitate death, or talking to their parents.

Alec finally went through with their lunch, not canceling at the last minute like he desperately wanted too.

Moments after they sat down, barely leaving time to order drinks and appetizers, they started in.

“How’s school?”

“How are your grades?’

“Are you ready for the bar?”

“We have a lot riding on your success Alexander, our whole family does. You’re making us proud, aren’t you?”

And the ever popular, “There are no distractions, right? You know you can’t afford distractions right now.”

Maryse and Robert Lightwood were ex-politicians who’d once dreamed of ruling the world atop their empire. They made terrible friends and even worse decisions, aligning themselves with bad people and only just avoiding jail time when it all came tumbling down around them three years before. Ever since then, they’d been worse than ever, ensuring their three remaining children knew it was up to them to restore the Lightwood name…

Alec did his best to hide his anger in hands clenched into fists under the table, gritted teeth and forced smiles. Tight answers that weren’t lies but he wished they were.

“Schools fine. I’m passing all my classes. Exams are coming up. I’ve started preliminary prep for the bar. We have a case we’re working on for real life experience. No distractions.”

There were never any distractions, Alec made sure of it. Not for his parents, not to make them proud, but for himself. Isabelle was all about making sure Alec did things for himself, his “own happiness”, these days. Which meant avoiding his parents as much as possible and concentrating on school. It was true that Maryse and Robert had helped to steer Alec on this course for his life, but at the end of the day, it was his decision to become a lawyer, to help people instead of following the more political path his parents had always planned for him. With all their old mistakes it wasn’t like that was a viable option anyway. All the Lightwood children were still facing the repercussions of all of that. Every day.

“You know we’re counting on you, Alec,” Robert started again once their food was delivered.

Alec sighed, he was used to this conversation and he knew it word for word.

“It’s up to you to bring honor to the Lightwood name once more.”

Sometimes Alec wondered how his parent’s minds worked. As if anything he did could absolve them of their choices, of the way they’d lived their lives up until this moment. For his sibling’s sakes, Alec put up with it but there was no love lost between him and his parents.

Alec somehow managed to make it through lunch peacefully, not saying everything he was thinking, without telling them to shove it. Expertly avoiding the subject of Max as well as his parents even though — years later — Alec still had to fight the urge to yell at them about how it was all their fault. He held it in, though, listened to them go on and on about stuff he couldn’t care less about and discuss options for his future and which friends had single daughters among the other things he managed to completely block.

By the time lunch was over it felt like years had passed and he didn’t hesitate to call Magnus to help him forget all about it.

***

Magnus moved to the answer the door, discarding his laptop on which an unedited article stared at him, judgingly. He was in loose pants and a plain shirt, not something he wore often but he’d had the day off and everyone needed a down day once in a while. He’d been attempting to write an article himself but it wouldn’t come out how he wanted so he’d given up.

His bare feet were cold on the stone floor as he crossed to the door.

He hadn’t been expecting anyone for once but wasn’t surprised to open it to find Alec on the other side. He was surprised at the state of Alec, however. His normally messy appearance was highlighted by the clear exhaustion on his face, eyes bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles.

For one of the first times ever, they didn’t immediately slam together, pulling at each other’s clothes. Instead, Magnus studied him for a moment before reaching out for his hand and pulling him inside, closing the door softly behind him. He must’ve just come from the library because he still had his bag which Magnus took from him, dropping it unceremoniously to the ground before moving behind Alec and pulling his jacket off.

They hadn’t said anything, Alec completely silent as Magnus moved around him. The air in the room was charged in a different way than usual, this wasn’t lust and a rush to get to bed. This was…calm, relaxed in a charged sort of way, but not in a ‘this will lead to us naked rolling in bed way’. To be honest, Magnus didn’t quite understand it himself, luckily he wasn’t trying too.

“What are you doing?” Alec finally asked only as Magnus grabbed his hand again, pulling him towards the bathroom. Magnus paused near the small linen closet, grabbing a hot pink towel and thrusting it at Alec before shoving him towards the bathroom door.

“No offense, Alexander,” Magnus said, pressing close to Alec who looked down on him slightly vacantly with the look of the sleep deprived. “But you look like shit.”

Alec barked out a laugh, light finally dawning in his eyes again.

Magnus rubbed his cheek, pressing a small kiss to his lips. “Shower,” he said, pointing towards the bathroom. “I’ll fix something to eat.”

Alec nodded, moving into the bathroom finally.

Magnus turned on some music — not the low sexy stuff he usually had playing when Alec was over but loud obnoxious music no one but him seemed to like, and the occasional Beyoncé song of course — humming to himself as he swept around the kitchen, throwing together a quick meal of turkey burgers and sweet potato fries.

He was so caught up in cooking and the music that he didn’t hear Alec come out of the bathroom, jumping slightly as a pair of arms came around his stomach, Alec’s head resting on his shoulder.

“Smells good,” Alec mumbled, nuzzling against the side of his neck.

Magnus smirked. “Obviously, I made it,” he said, flipping the burgers quickly before turning to Alec.

Magnus’ smirk widened as he found Alec in nothing but the hot pink towel wrapped around his waist. “As much as I’m loving this look,” Magnus commented. “I have some clothes you can wear.”

Alec raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

“Not my clothes,” Magnus added, rolling his eyes and quickly moving past Alec to grab an old pair of sweats and a holey sweater he’d stolen from Alec’s apartment.

“You’re stealing my clothes?” Alec asked. The shower had clearly done him a lot of good, he looked more awake and less likely to fall asleep on his feet.

Magnus scoffed. “It was raining one morning I left your place, I had no umbrella and couldn’t risk ruining my clothes,” he explained.

Alec snorted, shaking his head before grabbing the clothes from Magnus. “I’ve been missing this sweater,” he grumbled.

“Really? _That?_ It’s hideous,” Magnus said, pointing to one of a dozen holes in the faded black sweater.

Alec glared. “It’s not hideous, it has character.”

“It’s a shirt, it shouldn’t have character, or extra holes,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes.

Alec just smirked, discarding the towel to get dressed. Magnus forced his eyes away, because if he looked at Alec naked his resolve not to have sex tonight — because Alec was clearly too exhausted for that — would crumble. Magnus hurried back to the kitchen to check on the food.

A few minutes later, dinner was ready. They ate out on the balcony, on a small outdoor couch, Magnus sat facing Alec who devoured his food, staring out at the Brooklyn skyline.

“You have a good view,” Alec observed like it was the first time he was noticing it even though by then he’d been to Magnus’ countless times.

“I know,” Magnus replied, smiling, still staring at Alec.

When they’d finished eating and were comfortable, Magnus stretched out with his feet in Alec’s lap, sipping wine. Finally, he asked, “So…long day?”

Alec groaned, burying his face in his hands. Magnus watched him run his hands through his hair, feeling a strange wave of affection at Alec’s adorable reaction. “You could say that,” he finally said.

“Care to talk about it?” Magnus offered.

Alec sipped his wine, shrugging. “Not much to talk about,” he admitted. “Last year of law school, it's a lot of work. We’ve been working on mock cases, haven’t slept much recently.”

Magnus hummed, nodding thoughtfully.

“Not to mention the pressure, the bar’s coming up and my parents.” Alec shook his head, trailing off. “My siblings expect me to spend time with them, and there’s endless studying, and I’m finishing up an internship at this great little law firm. Doesn’t leave much time for relaxing. Sleeping,” he said thoughtfully.

Magnus sat up, removing his feet from Alec’s lap and grabbing for his hand as he stood. “Come on,” Magnus said, “Someone needs pampering.”

***

Alec let out a long, low moan as Magnus dug his fingers into his back.

“Feel good?” Magnus all but purred in his ear.

Alec was too far gone to reply, settling for nodding his head.

Magnus chuckled behind him, digging his hands in harder. “Don’t get used to this,” he said.

Alec mumbled something that possibly wasn’t even a real word back. He was laid out flat on his stomach on Magnus’ bed, Magnus behind him, rubbing up and down Alec’s back. Alec had never had a massage before but was pretty confident in saying Magnus gave amazing ones.

Alec was so relaxed he was surprised he wasn’t actually sleeping, a few times he might have even drifted off as Magnus thoroughly worked through every knot in him.

When it changed from an actual massage to Magnus just laying on top of him, pressing small, chaste kisses to the back of his neck, Alec finally managed to roll over onto his back, groaning slightly.

Magnus settled himself on top of him again, for once there was nothing overly sexual in the gesture, just fun and relaxed. Alec didn’t know how much time passed with them simply laying there, staring at each other, smiling softly before Magnus pressed a kiss to his cheek and moved to sit up.

“The way I see it,” Magnus said, grabbing one of Alec’s hands between both of his and rubbing it softly. “There are two options left to us tonight. One, we lay in bed watching horrible reality shows or two we don’t do that and I complain about missing my reality shows even while you sleep.”

Alec rolled his eyes, “So there’s really just one option?”

“Exactly,” Magnus said but his grin was so wide, happy and distracting that Alec really didn’t care what they did.

It turned out lying in bed watching crappy reality shows with Magnus, who Alec had to remind himself was supposed to be nothing more than his fuck buddy, was a lot of fun. They huddled in Magnus’ giant bed with a mound of pillows and the surprisingly warm blanket pulled up over them. Magnus leaned into Alec, eyes trained on the tv at the end of the bed, keeping up a never-ending commentary on what was going on in the show complete with endless judging and hilarious biting remarks.

Alec had been up early that morning, only getting a few hours of sleep before class and endless hours studying with Lydia in the library. Honestly. it was a miracle he’d lasted as long as he had. With Magnus warm next to him, and the steady drone of his voice lulling Alec to sleep, it wasn’t long before he found it hard to keep his eyes open.

After drifting off once or twice, only to force himself awake again, Magnus crawled out of bed. Alec opened his mouth, making some sort noise of protest.

Magnus’ soft laugh broke into Alec’s sleep-hazed mind, he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes but noticed the tv turn off, quickly followed by the one light that was still on. Then Magnus was crawling back into bed next to him. Alec hummed happily, causing Magnus to chuckle again.

“You didn’t have to turn off the tv,” Alec finally managed to mutter.

Magnus pulled the blankets back, lifted Alec’s arm up and settled himself against Alec’s stomach before pulling both Alec’s arm and the blanket back over him. “Sleeeeep,” Magnus muttered, pressing a kiss just underneath Alec’s jaw before settling in.

Alec was too tired to argue, muttering. “G’night,” and feeling Magnus laugh against him before surrendering to his exhaustion.

***

Magnus woke up slowly the next morning, stretching out in bed, eyes still closed. He smiled sleepily, unable to remember the last time he’d slept so well. Magnus had always been the kind of person to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep, and that was when he managed to sleep at all, having been an insomniac most of his life.

It wasn’t until he rolled over to the other side of the bed and found it to still be warm that he remembered he’d fallen asleep with someone else in his bed. Flipping back to his back, Magnus cracked his eyes open, grin spreading across his face as he recolonized the sound of someone moving around the kitchen and the smell of bacon. Rather than get up, Magnus snuggled down further in his bed for a few minutes, enjoying the thought of Alec cooking for him.

Magnus finally crawled from bed, heading to the bathroom before creeping into the kitchen. Alec was turned away from him, flipping pancakes on the stove. Magnus was a little surprised he actually had things to make breakfast with, he normally just bought a bagel on the way to work, sometimes a donut. Okay, most the time it was donuts, sue him, he had a sweet tooth.

Suddenly overcome by the scent of fresh coffee, Magnus groaned, heading straight for the pot as Alec finally noticed him, smiling widely. “Hey,” Alec said, voice still soft from sleep even though he’d clearly been up for a while.

“Hey yourself,” Magnus said, grinning as he filled his cup with coffee and then an obscene amount of sugar that had Alec wrinkling his nose.

“That’s disgusting,” Alec commented, plating the pancakes and bacon.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, you take your coffee black and as bitter as your soul?”

Alec chuckled but didn’t deny it, carrying both their plates to Magnus’ small dining table. Magnus refilled Alec’s cup, carrying it after him.

Magnus folded himself into one of the chairs, studying the plate Alec set before him before looking up to the man himself. Alec looked slightly nervous, watching Magnus.

Magnus hid a smile, picking up a piece of bacon and digging in. Magnus noticed the small, relieved breath Alec let out before digging in himself and only just held back an amused chuckle.

After a few minutes had passed, while Magnus realized that despite them not having sex the night before they were still as quiet as ever, Magnus finally spoke. “You didn’t have to do this, you know,” he said.

Alec looked up, frowning before his expression cleared. He smiled softly, rolling his gorgeous eyes. “And you didn’t have to do everything you did last night,” he said simply.

Magnus shrugged. “It was nice,” he said, heart racing.

Alec looked up from under his long lashes, nodding. “Yeah. It was.”

Magnus swallowed dryly, going back to looking down at his plate. He groaned. “But you have got to stop making me pancakes,” he said while taking a big bite. “You’re going to make me fat.”

Alec chuckled. “Maybe that’s my plan,” he said.

Magnus gasped. “I know we can’t all have abs like yours, darling, but you aren’t really telling me you don’t like mine at least a bit?”

Alec chuckled but didn’t reply and Magnus moved on. “Okay, so you’ve mentioned siblings and parents, the latter of which I got the feeling you don’t talk to much,” Magnus prompted.

Alec sighed. “We’re doing this now?” he asked, looking up.

Magnus shrugged. “When better?” he said, grabbing his cup of coffee and settling back. “I’ll go first,” he offered after Alec just continued to stare at him blankly. “I have no siblings, no parents, but three very good friends I grew up with — well, they grew up, according to them I’m still an immature child,” Magnus relented, earning a smile from Alec. This was strange, staring right at each other across the dining table, not in a hurry to get naked. But a good kind of weird, Magnus thought. “And a few minions,” he added, thinking of Clary and Simon. “Oh, and Chairman Meow, who’s run away but will be back at some point.”

“Dog?” Alec asked.

Magnus gasped, feigning shock. “You think I’m a dog person, Alexander?”

Alec rolled his eyes. “No actually, doesn’t fit you at all.”

Magnus smirked. “Cat,” he said.

Alec nodded, seeming mildly amused, a strange twinkle in his eyes. “Your cat runs away from you? That doesn’t bode well.”

Magnus glared, “Cheeky,” he said before tossing a piece of bacon at Alec who moved fast enough to catch it making Magnus’ sprouting smile turn into another glare. “You’re a very rude person,” Magnus accused. “And Chairman doesn’t run away from _me_ ,” he added. “He’s just a free soul.”

Alec smirked and really Alec’s smirk should’ve been illegal, nothing had the right to be that sexy.

“Your turn,” Magnus said, glancing away from Alec’s smirk.

By the time they finished eating, Magnus knew he was close to both his younger siblings — a meddling sister and an adoptive brother who was his best friend. That he didn’t talk much with his parents — Alec didn’t get into things, merely saying that they didn’t agree with most his lifestyle choices before moving on. And that for some godforsaken reason he actually loved all the struggles of law school.

As Alec finished listing off facts, he rose from the table, stalking towards Magnus who watched amusedly. “Happy now?” Alec asked, eyes narrowed, voice low.

Magnus shrugged but, before he could say anything, Alec grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the chair and flat against Alec’s body with one tug.

“Because,” Alec whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of Magnus’ neck. “I feel like there are other things we could be doing with our mouths, things that are a lot more fun than talking.”

Magnus swallowed, hands bunching up in Alec’s shirt. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alec said, breath hot on Magnus’ face as he slowly brought their lips together. Alec pulled back a moment later. “Want me to show you?”

***

“Okay, spill,” Isabelle said in her best firm voice, the second she stepped into Alec’s apartment that night. She carried a bag of groceries, Jace coming in behind her with alcohol.

Alec glanced up, drying his hands from cleaning up the kitchen, knowing they’d be over and Isabelle was on a cooking kick again. “Spill what?” he asked blankly.

Isabelle gave him one of her patented looks, clearly saying she wasn’t messing around. Alec blinked. Isabelle glared.

“Knock it off,” Jace finally said, stepping between the two of them. “You know he doesn’t actually have to tell you everything little thing about his life, right, Iz?” Jace continued, bringing Isabelle’s glare to him.

Jace set down a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer before holding his hands up in surrender. “Having said that,” Jace amended, turning back to Alec. “Something’s been going on with you recently, spill.”

Alec glared at his siblings. “I really hate you sometimes,” he said but there was no real heat behind the words and Isabelle grinned in victory so really the words lost all meaning the moment they were said.

“Isabelle, you aren’t cooking, right?” Alec asked, distracted as Isabelle started unloading her bag.

Jace snorted. “Of course not, we’re not so mad that we want to burn your apartment down.”

Izzy folded her arms, glaring before shrugging. “I guess that’s fair,” she said. “Jace will cook, I’ll chop, you’ll talk,” Izzy demanded, moving to wash her hands before pulling out various vegetables. Alec knew better than to question what they were eating when Jace and Izzy were making it, it was best to keep it a surprise anyway. Alec was sure they never followed a recipe because only his siblings could come up with the strange things they made most of the time.

“Talk,” Isabelle said, pointing at him threateningly while holding a knife.

Alec sighed. “Talk about what?” he asked, squirming where he stood off to the side in his small kitchen as Jace made more noise than necessary, trying to find a pan to cook in. To be honest, he didn’t know why he hadn’t told them yet but…he hadn’t. And put on the spot now, it was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

Isabelle gave him a pointed look, aiming the knife in his direction again. “What’s his name?” she demanded.

Alec groaned. “There’s no him,” he tried.

Isabelle scoffed. “I know it’s not a her and you’ve been smiling and happy too much recently for there to be no one, _soooo_?”

Alec groaned again, running a hand through his hair. “It’s no one; _he’s_ no one.”

Isabelle frowned, looking up from the peppers she was chopping. “Are you saying that because you’re being a jerk who doesn’t want to admit he has feelings or because there’s actually no one?”

Jace glanced at Alec over his shoulder. “Yeah, what’s up?” he said. “You’re usually easier to read than this.”

“There’s definitely something, someone,” Izzy said, talking more to Jace than Alec. “But he’s not lying either, right?”

Jace narrowed his eyes. “Nope, he’s not doing that thing with his eyes, that he does when he’s lying.”

Alec watched his siblings, wondering how they could sink even lower than before.

“Would you two stop?” he finally asked, no heat to the words, only annoyance.

“No,” Isabelle and Jace said together, sharing a grin. Isabelle turned back to the peppers, shrugging. “We won’t stop until you tell us what’s going on,” she said simply.

Alec sighed again, regretting not for the first time giving them a key to his apartment. He tried to figure out a way to avoid this before eventually giving in, they’d never let it go. “Look, it’s nothing, okay? I’ve been using that hookup app you told me about.”

Isabelle just nodded. “Yeah, for like a year now, but something changed,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

Alec really shouldn’t be surprised by the things Izzy knew anymore but this still shocked him, he’d thought he’d hidden his use of the hookup app fairly well.

Alec groaned the moment Izzy let out an excited exclamation, eyes brightening. “Did you meet someone through it?” she asked. “Are you ashamed of that? It’s fine, Alec!”

Alec was already shaking his head but Izzy just kept going. “What’s his name? How long have you been seeing him? Is that the hot guy I saw leaving here the other day? Do you love him?”

Alec’s heart was racing, which he only noticed because it was suddenly hard to breathe. Finally, Alec blurted out, “No. Now stop it!”

Isabelle stopped talking immediately, a wave of hurt flashing through her eyes.

Alec ran a hand over his face, feeling horrible. “I’m sorry, Izzy, but that’s not it,” he said in a lower voice.

“Then, what is it?” Isabelle asked, forgiving him immediately. “Who’s the beautiful man I saw leaving here the other day?”

“You saw him?” Alec asked, momentarily distracted.

Isabelle smirked. “That depends, is he a beautiful Asian man, with the best taste in clothes? Who was leaving your house early in the morning, smelling like sex?”

Alec felt his face go red as he nodded.

Isabelle laughed. “I knew it! You’re seeing someone.”

Alec shook his head again, pulse racing with panic that pooled in his stomach. “It’s not like that Isabelle,” Alec said before finally admitting what it was like. “We met through the app, okay? And it was…really good sex. So, we met again and again and again.”

Isabelle was frowning now, while Jace chuckled. “Nice one,” he said, flipping the pepper steaks he had cooking on the stove.

“Sooo…you’re fuck buddies?” Isabelle asked.

Alec hesitated, then nodded.

Isabelle’s smirk reappeared, wider than ever. Instead of looking disappointed as Alec had feared, she looked as proud as Jace. “I didn’t know you had it in you, big brother,” she said, laughing to herself.

“Yeah…me either,” he admitted. And the feeling he’d been fighting in his gut the last two days, since having breakfast with Magnus, suddenly doubled. “You don’t…” Alec started, then trailed off. “There is a way this ends okay, right?” Alec asked because all along the whole reason he’d only ever had one night stands was because he couldn’t do more than that. And…and when you let the guy come back again and again…someone ended up with feelings.

Isabelle looked thoughtful, mixing together a salad. Finally, Isabelle looked up, sympathy clear in her eyes. “Sure,” she said unconvincingly. “But…Alec, everyone says it’s just sex and it is…until it’s not.”

Alec’s stomach sank, and despite the surprisingly amazing smells wafting through the kitchen, he suddenly wasn’t hungry.

“ _This_ ,” he finally said. “Isn’t like that.”

Isabelle raised one eyebrow at him. “How long has this been going on?” she asked.

Alec grudgingly admitted, “Over two months?”

Jace choked on a drink of beer and Izzy had to pound his back. “You’ve been sleeping with someone for two months and didn’t tell us?” Jace demanded. “And you expect no one to have any feelings?”

Alec shrugged.

Izzy sighed, squeezing his arm. “Would it be so bad to have feelings for this guy?” she asked, like it was inevitable.

And Alec would not think about that. It didn’t matter because Alec didn’t do feelings, he knew he had none towards Magnus. Magnus was just…fun and relaxing. But how much longer could this go on for? Thinking it over, he couldn’t believe it’d been over two months already.

Finally, he looked up, meeting Izzy’s gaze. “I don’t even know his last name,” he admitted.

***

Magnus was in the office early Monday morning, determined to get things done. The second Simon sat down outside his office, Magnus called his phone. When Simon answered, looking wearily at Magnus through the glass windows, Magnus merely said, “Gossip hour, bring Clary,” before hanging up.

Within minutes they were both in his office, closing the door firmly behind them. They took the chairs on the other side of Magnus’ giant desk as Magnus leaned back, resting his feet on the edge of his desk and folding his arms behind his chair.

“I have…a thing,” he finally admitted as Simon and Clary shared a knowing look. “Yes, that thing is a person, no I am not seeing anyone.”

Simon frowned. “Then what are you doing? Because you’ve been especially cheery recently. It’s kind of terrifying everyone, actually.”

Magnus smirked, glad to hear he was still scary to his minions. Then he remembered what had been bugging him the last few days. “Can someone catch feelings?” he asked.

Clary and Simon shared another look, something that was very annoying about the best friends.

“Um…catch? No,” Clary said. “Develop? Yes.”

Magnus sighed. “That’s what I was worried about. How do you know if this happens?” he asked.

Clary frowned. “Why are you asking us? You’re older than us, you’ve had feelings before, right? Romantic ones. What about Camille?”

Magnus glared at the name but merely said, “I’m not old, you’re just children.” Then he stopped to think for a moment. “Camille wasn’t love, it was trickery. I don’t trust me anymore,” he added.

Clary nodded thoughtfully. “Who are you worried you’ve caught feelings for?”

Magnus looked mildly ashamed as he sat up, admitting, “My one night stand turned fuck buddy, but…it’s probably nothing. I’m just…getting a cold.”

Simon smirked as Clary’s face got a horrible, pitying look on it.

“Aw, Magnus has fallen for his one night stand,” Simon teased.

“I bet he’s used to them falling for him,” Clary added. “It’s probably his first.”

Magnus despised people teasing him, even out of love. That’s why he stood abruptly, calling an end to gossip hour. As Magnus firmly shut his door behind Clary and Simon who were both smirking knowingly, he determined that he didn’t have feelings for Alec, at least not bad or romantic feelings. He was just starting to see him as a friend. Which was fine. Maybe one day they could move on from calling their selves fuck buddies to the classier ‘friends with benefits’.

It was fine. Magnus had it all under control.

***

For one reason or another, which Alec was not thinking about not because he didn’t want to think about it but just because he was busy, Alec didn’t end up at Magnus’ until a little over a week had passed since their lazy night. Which put it at well over a week since they’d slept together and lead to Magnus opening the door and their normal encounter proceeding. Barely a word passed between them as they collided together, the door slamming behind them as they made quick work of each other’s clothes, moving straight to the bed.

***

Magnus stopped a few feet away from Simon’s desk on his way back from lunch. He’d been about to give the boy a hard time for the fact that a girl was sitting on his desk, clearly distracting him from his work. Then Magnus noticed said girl’s shoes and forgot all about teasing Simon.

Instead, he strolled up to them, interrupting Simon’s blubbering to say, “I _love_ your shoes.”

The woman — who was very beautiful and very out of Sampson’s league with long curling black hair, wide beautiful eyes, and stunning taste in clothes — perked up, grinning. “Thanks,” she said, quickly looking Magnus over. Magnus was struck for a moment, briefly thinking she looked familiar as a light dawned in her eyes and her grin widened. But the girl just pointed to his shirt saying, “I love your shirt.”

Simon cleared his throat suddenly. “Uh, Magnus,” he said, voice tight, face red when Magnus finally looked over at him. “This is uh…Clary’s friend, Isabelle. Isab— This is Magnus,” Simon said, stuttering. “My boss.”

Isabelle beamed at Simon’s stuttering before offering her hand to Magnus.

“Sorry for distracting Simon,” she said, using Magnus’ hand to help her off the desk. “I was just visiting Clary for lunch,” she explained. She seemed to be staring at Magnus more than normal but Magnus didn’t think anything of it.

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Magnus reassured her. “Samuel isn’t the best assistant anyway, I’ve been looking for a reason to fire him,” he teased.

Simon choked behind him but Isabelle merely smirked. “Anyway,” she said, glancing at Simon. “You should come with Clary tonight,” then she paused, beamed and turned to Magnus. “You too!”

Magnus frowned, feeling amused. “Me too what, dear?”

Isabelle laughed, throwing her head back. “Come out tonight, you hang out with Simon and Clary, sometimes right? Clary’s mentioned you before, her mentor.”

Magnus grinned modestly. “Sometimes, yes,” he said, deciding not to add that it was when he was drunk and Raphael refused to aid and abet him.

“Great!” Isabelle said firmly. “We’re all going out tonight, to this new bar downtown, you’ll come, yeah? I have got to know where you shop.”

Magnus didn’t have a choice as Isabelle simply grinned, waved and walked away.

“She is way out of your league,” Magnus said casually. “She’ll eat you alive, Sampson, but I’m impressed.”

Magnus didn’t stay to hear Simon stutter over his words, saying they were just friends — “barely friends really, more like…casual acquaintances, she barely knows me honestly” — heading into his office and closing his door to fully block the assistant out.

***

Alec shouldn’t have been surprised at the things his sister could do by now. They were huddled in the corner of some hipster bar, Jace, Izzy, and him, sipping some strange beer and talking idly. Of course, Alec had noticed the moment he came in that something was going on, Isabelle was grinning widely, eyes shining, her classic scheming face, and she kept looking at Alec. He’d ignored it, refusing to give in and ask what she’d done, preferring to talk to Jace about classes instead.

He noticed the way Izzy kept looking up every time the door opened but paid no mind, knowing she’d invited Clary and Simon too. They weren’t Alec’s favorite people, but he’d learned to get along with them. Jace was more serious about Clary than he was even about working out. And for whatever reason, the red headed girl’s best friend amused Isabelle.

When the door opened and Isabelle glanced up, grin widening instead of falling like it had the last dozen times, Alec finally glanced up, following her gaze and…he forgot how to breathe.

***

Magnus hadn’t thought about it much, going out for drinks. When Clary had poked her head in his office at the end of the day he’d agreed just to get away from the office for a bit. One of his main journalists had quit and the leading article for this week’s issue of the magazine was trash and had to be completely redone, and he was simply ready for the day to be over and start again tomorrow. He obviously had not been expecting to look up from his phone, blindly following Clary into the bar, to see none other than his fuck buddy.

Magnus had been mid-laugh, listening to some insane story of Simon’s when they’d walked in. His eyes moving to take in the hipster bar, passing over everyone until bouncing back to one. Alec.

Magnus had stopped in place, surprise cutting off his laugh. To say he was surprised to see Alec here — when they’d never once run into each other or seen each other outside their apartments and the hotel room that first time — was an understatement. What was even more surprising was the fact that he was sitting at the same table as Isabelle.

Clary took a few steps before stopping, looking back at Magnus with a frown. “Everything okay?” she asked.

Magnus nodded, shrugged, and shook his head all at once. The bar was big enough that there was still a lot of space between them and the table Alec sat at. Magnus pulled his gaze away from Alec who was looking at him with the same shocked expression Magnus was sure he wore, turning to Clary and Simon.

“Who are we meeting again?” Magnus asked, relaxing a little when his voice managed to come out normal, casual.

Clary’s frown deepened. “My boyfriend, Jace, his sister, Isabelle, and their brother, Alec.”

Magnus let his eyes close for a moment. Of course, that’s why Isabelle had looked vaguely familiar. Not only did she share features with Alec but he’d seen her once, when he was leaving Alec’s apartment early one morning.

Magnus sighed, had he known, he would not have come. His eyes moved to Isabelle, the dark-haired beauty was grinning widely and Magnus had no doubt that she’d known exactly who he was. Alec had said she liked scheming after all.

“What is it?” Simon asked.

Magnus sighed once more, locking his arm through Clary’s before starting forward again. “Nothing,” he whispered before they reached the table. “Just so happens Clary’s boyfriend’s brother? Is that one night stand I told you about.”

The shock on Simon’s face was almost worth it all. Almost.

***

Isabelle was way too thrilled with herself. She didn’t say anything, but Alec could see it. No one said anything, actually. Besides Clary who introduced Magnus, calling him her mentor and nothing more. Which okay, Alec knew Clary was an artist and that kind of confused him – what did Magnus do? -- but he merely nodded, taking a long pull of his gross hipster beer and quickly looking away.

Alec sat, staring off into space, trying hard not to get caught staring at Magnus while also ignoring Isabelle’s pointed looks and the questioning ones on Simon and Clary’s faces, as Magnus and Isabelle quickly got lost talking about fashion or something.

Clary and Simon, it turned out, were full of fun stories about Magnus. They didn’t hesitate in spilling them at the earliest advantage, confirming Alec’s suspicions that they knew exactly who Magnus and Alec were to each other. Which was basically nothing any way.

“I would like to say just one thing,” Magnus said, holding up a hand halfway through the night. “And that’s that I only hang out with these two when drunk, which clearly explains all these…tall tales they’re telling.”

Simon snorted. “Okay and what’s your excuse for Peru? We weren’t there, but we’ve seen the pictures.”

As much as Alec tried to relax, he couldn’t. He could barely bring himself to look at anyone, laughed only when everyone else did, and barely said a word. White noise came and went in his mind, as he listened to Magnus fitting in perfectly with his little group, as he listened to endless stories, learning more and more about Magnus. Everything but his last name and his job and you know, important details.

Magnus was funny, which Alec already knew. Kind, which he also knew. And adventurous, which yeah, he’d discovered that already too. It was just firmer details he was missing, what Magnus did for a living, what he did for fun — besides Alec — what his life was like growing up. Normal things…

Alec didn’t dwell on that all night though, nope. He just…sat there. Waiting for the night to end and trying not to be any more awkward than he already was.

Alec managed to avoid even looking at Magnus all night. Until Magnus got up with Clary, Izzy, and Simon to do karaoke and then Alec finally looked at him and saw again just how beautiful he was and then he couldn’t figure out how to look away again.

Magnus was grinning, breaking into laughter mid-verse as Clary and Simon shared a mic, acting like they were playing charades as they sang, acting out the loud breakup song, and Isabelle leaned against Magnus, giggling more than singing.

Alec had seen a lot of expressions on Magnus’ face but this…completely free and happy one, was new and it took his breath away.

***

Finally, they were the last two left in the bar. Clary and Simon were the first to leave, having the farthest to go to get back home. Izzy went overboard and left with Jace propping her up, insisting to Alec that he stay and have fun.

And then Magnus could no longer pretend he hadn’t noticed Alec’s distant behavior all night, studiously ignoring Magnus.

When it was just the two of them, Magnus found it a lot harder to convince himself that it wasn’t him Alec had a problem with, it was the night or the situation or maybe he’d had a long day. But as Alec watched his siblings stumble out the door together, an expression of extreme discomfort on his face, Magnus’ heart sank. It was clearly time to go.

Instead of letting the awkward silence settle, Magnus quickly slid off his stool, getting to his feet and shrugging his coat on. When he looked up he was honestly surprised to find Alec staring at him instead of past him as he had the whole night.

“I think,” Magnus said in a flat voice. “I’m going to go now.”

Magnus didn’t wait for an answer, turning away quickly. He could tell when he wasn’t wanted somewhere, and all night Alec had been sending clear signs that he wasn’t wanted there. The only reason he’d stayed was because he was genuinely having fun with Clary and Simon, and Isabelle was a dear. Jace…well, he wasn’t horrible. And okay, maybe part of Magnus was hoping Alec would snap out of it. He didn’t. It was fine, this just proved they could be nothing but fuck buddies, not even real friends.

All was well, Magnus told himself, heading towards the door even as he heard Alec standing behind him, calling out softly, “Wait.”

Magnus had never been the kind to wait though and that was one rule he was suddenly determined not to break for Alec. Let him run after Magnus if he wanted, Magnus didn’t care either way. Or at least he was trying really hard not to care. Of course, he was also trying not feel pathetic over the fact that he felt hurt.

Magnus scoffed to himself, there was no reason to feel _hurt_.

Magnus was out the door before Alec grabbed his sleeve, pulling him to a stop. Sighing, Magnus turned to face Alec, stepping out of the way of the door. It was cold outside, fall slowly turning to winter. Magnus stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, staring up at Alec.

Alec quickly pulled his coat on, opening and closing his mouth a few times while staring down at Magnus before talking. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed.

Magnus frowned. “What for?”

Alec rubbed a hand through his hair. “Acting weird all night, for starters,” he said and Magnus’ heart didn’t skip when he looked back down at Magnus with puppy dog eyes. “I wasn’t expecting you,” he said. “Isabelle…she meddles and I was just…surprised. We’ve never…even seen each other…outside, you know. And I didn’t know how to act.”

Magnus had never been the kind to be confused by his own emotions, he’d always understood them perfectly well. But he had no idea what was going on here. What he wanted to be going on here. So he did what he always did when he wasn’t sure what to do — as few times as that happened — he faked it. “And now?” he asked, shooting for flirty because flirty was easy.

Alec watched him for a moment before stepping closer, and closer. He grabbed Magnus’ arms, moving him back against the side of the bar. “Now,” Alec said, voice low as he leaned in close, carefully brushing his knuckles over Magnus’ cheek, sending shivers down his back. “I’m going to do what I’ve been thinking about doing all night.”

Magnus barely had time to take a breath before Alec was kissing him. And this…Magnus tried not to think it but this kiss, it was different than all the ones before it. They’d had all manner of kisses, rushed and messy, slow and sensual, but they’d all been about one thing: lust. Magnus didn’t know what this one was about as Alec pressed close, kissing him slowly and thoroughly — very thoroughly — but he knew it was different, knew his knees were weak and that craving for more, more, more, wasn’t the same kind of craving Alec’s kisses usually gave him.

But he wouldn’t ruin this kiss by thinking, so he shut his brain off, tangled his hands in Alec’s hair and kissed him back with the same amount of whatever this new emotion was.

***

Alec felt strange, off, leading Magnus up to his apartment that night. They were holding hands, Alec’s heart was beating too hard, too fast. They weren’t rushing, he realized, glad his hands didn’t shake as he let go of Magnus to unlock his door. Every single other time, there’d been a sense of not being able to get naked fast enough, a rushing to the end even as they slowly teased each other. This…this was different.

Stepping into his apartment and grabbing Magnus’ hand to pull him in behind him, Alec wasn’t sure yet if it was a good different or not.

His mind spun, trying to work out why it was different, what was happening but Alec didn’t want to be that guy right now. The one who stopped everything to work things out in his head before doing things. He just…wanted to see where the night took them. How this all ended.

The door shut behind them and they just stood there for a moment, lights off in the apartment, barely able to see each other through the little bit of light coming in through Alec’s window from the busy city outside. They’d come to Alec’s without discussing it; it was closer after all. That night though, Alec didn’t think it would’ve really mattered if they had to cross the world to find a bed. There was no rush.

Alec stood completely still, breathing shallowly as Magnus turned to face him. The dim light threw shadows across his face but he still looked beautiful. Slowly, with their eyes still locked, Magnus slipped off his jacket, leaving it in a pile at his feet. Alec followed, removing his own jacket. Alec’s eyes only briefly wavered to Magnus’ hands as he started unbuttoning his shirt. Alec’s own hands slowly moving to the bottom of his shirt and pulling it up and over his head.

It was strange, different, watching each other undress so slowly. Oddly…intimate.

Alec let his gaze travel down, watching Magnus’ sure fingers take off his belt and oh so slowly push his pants down. Before Alec could do the same he found himself snorting, unable to hold in the urge to laugh.

When he looked back up at Magnus’ face, Magnus raised an eyebrow.

Alec grinned, the tense feeling in the air snapping, leaving the perfect light tension that left his heart racing with anticipation of what was to come but making the whole thing feel…normal. This was Magnus, they’d slept together countless times. He loved spending time with him. If this time were any different, it was for the better.

“Superman, really?” Alec finally teased.

Magnus smirked, moving closer and taking his hands off his own hips where he’d been about to lower his underwear. He grabbed Alec by the belt loops, yanking him closer. Alec shivered as Magnus’ breath ghosted against his chest, and had to resisted the urge to do it again when Magnus let his eyes roam over Alec’s chest, licking his lips before finally looking up and meeting Alec’s gaze. The way Magus looked up through his eyelashes should be illegal, Alec was sure that look alone could set him on fire and burn him up from the inside out.

Magnus batted his eyes, moving one hand across the front of Alec’s jeans and then up through his happy trail, caressing his abs for a good long moment before gliding up over his chest and finally ending up with his hand behind Alec’s neck, pulling him down.

They were as close as they could possibly be without being pressed flush together.

“Is that really what you’re looking at right now, darling?” he asked.

Alec swallowed dryly, shaking his head. “It’s kind of hard to miss, Magnus, they’re bright red and blue.”

Magnus’ eyes went wide with surprise for a second before he started laughing. Alec’s breath got caught in his throat as Magnus buried his head against his chest, shaking as he laughed. Magnus’ laugh had quickly become one of Alec’s favorite things.

And then Alec couldn’t stand it anymore, tilting Magnus’ chin up and capturing the rest of his laughter against his lips. Magnus stilled and then melted against him. This kiss was like the one earlier, unrushed, soft, perfect. Alec had never kissed anyone, been kissed by anyone, like this before. Even Magnus had never kissed him this way. Alec had the brief thought that it’d be far too easy to get used to being kissed like this, before pushing all thoughts away.

He didn’t know how much time passed, the two of them standing just inside his apartment, half their clothes pooled at their feet. Magnus had one hand tangled in his hair, the other still holding onto one of Alec’s belt loops while Alec cradled his face. Just kissing, nothing more.

Even when the kiss got deeper, messier it still had that new underlying edge that Alec never wanted to stop feeling.

And then Magnus slowly broke away. Alec’s eyes flickered open as a mischievous smile crossed Magnus’ face. All Alec could do was stand still as Magnus slowly undid his pants, pushing them down, quickly followed by his boxers and then Magnus’ own.

Magnus grabbed his hand, pulling him further into the apartment, down the hall to Alec’s room.

Alec was finding it hard to breathe for some reason. The room was dark save the light coming from the bathroom that Alec must’ve forgotten to turn off earlier. Magnus pushed Alec until he was sitting on the side of the bed, their eyes never breaking contact as Magnus slid to his knees in front of him.

“Still thinking about my underwear?” Magnus whispered, spreading Alec’s legs and moving closer.

“No,” Alec said, the word barely more than a breath until he forgot how to speak entirely.

***

Magnus’ shouted “Alexander” was still echoing around the room or so it felt like a few minutes after, as they laid in bed. Alec had already gotten up, cleaned himself up and brought Magnus a washrag, now they laid curled together in the dark. They never did turn a light on. Neither had said anything since finishing.

Magnus found himself trying to breathe shallowly so as to not disturb the silence. He listened closely to Alec’s breathing, trying to figure out if he’d fallen asleep already or not but he couldn’t tell. He considered rolling over, he was laying on his right side, Alec behind him, one arm thrown across his waist, but if Alec was asleep, Magnus didn’t want to wake him and if he wasn’t asleep…

Magnus was doing his very best to ignore this strange, aching pit in his stomach but it was growing harder by the moment.

What had they done? Nothing really. They’d slept together, like they had countless times before. That was all. So why did this feel so different? Why did it leave a panicky feeling in Magnus’ chest?

Things were getting…intense. Too intense. This was what happened when you fucked with a one night stand, when you asked for another night and another and another. Then you just…well, you wanted days too and days turned to weeks and weeks to months and before you knew it you were in love, married, with two point five kids.

Magnus had been through these kinds of things enough to notice the panic that arrived any time he started developing feelings for people. He’d had his heart broken one too many times to ever try to give it away again. That’s why nothing but one night stands were allowed. Until Magnus found the one that couldn’t just be a one night stand of course…

And it was stupid, Magnus thought, because he didn’t even know Alec. He couldn’t be developing feelings for someone he’d never even told his last name! He didn’t know Alec. Not really. Sure, he knew Alec had two siblings he loved more than anything and he hated that he didn’t get along with his parents but not enough to try to fix whatever they’d tried to break. He knew Alec loved learning and was passionate about becoming a lawyer. That when Magnus kissed a certain part of his neck, he lost all control. And sure, Alec made him laugh, made him feel better than anyone else had ever made him feel and Magnus wasn’t just talking about the sex but…

But they were fuck buddies. They had sex. They didn’t know each other beyond the bedroom. It was nothing.

It was hours later before Magnus finally admitted to himself he had issues. He was in Alec’s arms, in the middle of the night and instead of sleeping peacefully he was having a mini nervous breakdown. This was why Magnus couldn’t have nice things, he always messed it up somehow.

But…he was happy. That was what the feeling was; laying in Alec’s arms he was content, he felt like grinning even as he panicked. And he wasn’t crazy, was he? This time, this whole night, it’d been different. Good different… Hadn’t it?

***

Alec batted Magnus’ hand away for the third time as the other man reached out, trying to steal his potstickers. When he looked up, Magnus was giving him his best puppy dog look.

Biting back a smile, Alec shook his head, pulling the container further away from Magnus. “Nope,” he said. “You ate yours, suffer in silence.”

Magnus’ puppy dog eyes somehow got more pathetic, widening even more as he stuck his bottom lip out.

Alec continued to shake his head.

“Please?” Magnus said, voice low and sensual. He batted his eyes, “I’ll do anything and I do mean _anything.”_

Alec laughed at the absurdity of Magnus’ voice coupled with the suggestive way he made his eyebrows dance. “You’re pathetic,” he said.

“Yes, yes I am,” Magnus agreed, face becoming all serious.

Alec sighed, handing over the box of potstickers.

“Yeeees!” Magnus examined, grinning widely as he took the box and dug into Alec’s potstickers.

“You’re shameless,” Alec said, rolling his eyes and hiding a smile behind the carton of fried rice.

Magnus shrugged. “That may be true, but I have potstickers and you don’t so…I win.”

Alec chuckled, watching the way Magnus’ eyes sparkled when he was happy, grinning around a mouthful of potsticker.

They were sitting in Magnus’ bed, cartons of Chinese food spread across the side table and the floor both. Neither of them wore a shirt, just sweat pants Alec had been shocked Magnus even owned. Of course, Magnus’ said “fabulous” on the ass in pink glitter. Which okay, should not have looked as appealing as it had when he’d stood to answer the door for food earlier.

It was a Sunday and they’d taken lazy Sunday to a whole new level, barely leaving Magnus’ bed all day. They’d watched bad tv, Alec had pretended to study while Magnus napped against his shoulder. And of course, there’d been a few orgasms here and there.

“Now,” Magnus said, once the last potsticker was gone and only after he’d carefully licked all his fingers and ran his tongue distractingly over his lips. “I believe you were telling a story about dear Isabelle, Jace, and some unfortunate pool party.”

Alec shook his head at Magnus. “Yeah and then you jumped me, trying to steal my food.”

Magnus tsked, “I’m afraid you’re delusional, that’s not what happened at all.”

Alec smirked, setting aside the fried rice and stretching out on his back. “No?” he said, staring up at the canopy over Magnus’ bed and holding his hand out to Magnus.

“No,” Magnus said, taking his hand and moving closer until he was settled on top of Alec. “If I’d jumped you, as you say, then we’d been in a very different position right now.”

Magnus lowered himself on Alec until their chests were touching, he closed his eyes, pressing their lips together softly. Alec let his own eyes drift closed, resting his hands on Magnus’ hips.

“Is that so?” he asked when Magnus pulled back.

Magnus nodded, resting their foreheads against each other. “Yeah,” he said, voice slightly hoarse. “Would you like to see?”

***

It happened slowly, so slowly in fact, Magnus didn’t even notice it at first. Where they’d grown to texting outside of the normal coordinating hookups, Alec stopped texting him random things; pictures of animals he found amusing, or how boring that one professor of his was. Magnus didn’t notice at first, caught up in how good things had been feeling recently, not to mention getting out one of the magazine’s most important issues of the year.

Then Alec stopped replying to even Magnus’ lamest of innuendo's which never failed to get some less than enthusiastic response. That’s when he started noticing things were going wrong. It was around then that he realized they hadn’t even seen each other in over a week, a strange occurrence these days. Magnus had been busy though, Alec probably was too.

That night, as Magnus finally left the office, he called Alec on the way down the elevator knowing he’d be up late studying. Alec answered after the second ring, sounding wide awake.

Magnus’ heart hammered in his chest.

“Hey, I have a vacancy I was hoping you could fill,” Magnus said, smirking.

Alec didn’t laugh or groan. Stepping out of the elevator Magnus tried to stop his heart from sinking. “Sorry Magnus, Isabelle’s over. Maybe tomorrow?”

Within minutes they’d hung up and Magnus told himself it was fine, Alec was just busy.

They met the next night and it was as good as ever until Alec left right after, something neither of them had done since the first few weeks. Magnus tried to tell himself it didn’t mean anything, Alec said he had an early class it made sense for him to go home early even though he had the same class every Wednesday and had never done this before… It was nothing. He couldn’t quite convince himself though.

***

Alec knew he was acting like a jackass but he’d really been busy and Magnus…was becoming a bigger and bigger distraction by the day. Alec couldn’t afford distractions.

Still, he could only stay away for so long and over a week was way too long so that didn’t happen again. He tried to turn his brain off when he was with Magnus, both during and after sex. He needed to get a grip on things, they were still just fucking. It was fine.

Another couple of weeks passed with things going back to normal between them, Alec stayed over most nights, they watched crap television between rounds. But now Alec had an important test coming up and he’d warned Magnus he’d be busy for the next four days.

He made it through three, no thinking of Magnus, just studying. And then the doorbell rang.

Alec wasn’t surprised to open the door to find Magnus in a tight shirt and even tighter pants under a leather jacket, leaning casually against the door frame.

“Hello handsome,” Magnus purred, looking up at him from under dark lashes.

Alec wasn’t surprised to see him, he was surprised however to realize he’d been hoping Magnus would ignore what he said and show up. He was surprised to feel his heart skip in his chest and a wide smile cross his face.

When he finally realized he hadn’t said anything and Magnus had pushed off the doorway, staring at him and waiting, Alec took a deep breath. “Hey,” he said and promptly felt like an idiot.

Magnus smiled, stepping into Alec’s space and pressing a fast kiss to his lips, pulling away again before Alec’s brain caught up.

Stepping aside to let Magnus pass, Alec shook his head. Clearly, all the coffee he’d been drinking hadn’t been good for his mind.

Magnus headed straight to the kitchen with a bag of food in hand. “I know you said you were busy studying all weekend buuuut,” Magnus said, whirling around. “Everyone needs a break; I wouldn’t want you to strain that pretty little head of yours.”

Alec rolled his eyes but couldn’t not smile back at Magnus.

Magnus opened the bag of Thai food and Alec’s mouth immediately watered, he’d been living off cold pizza the last two days. “Thank god,” he said, moving to grab plates. “I’m starving.”

Magnus smirked, removing his jacket and damn, Alec had never seen Magnus dressed so casually outside his flat, in a tight black long sleeve with a normal neckline and tight black jeans but holy hell, he looked amazing. Alec didn’t know how he could breathe in those clothes but he wasn’t complaining.

Magnus’ smirk widened as he clearly noticed Alec now salivating over him rather than the food.

“Devour the food first,” Magnus taunted, winking. “Me second.”

Alec glanced back at the small desk in the corner, his books and notes spread across it. “I do have a really important exam…” he said halfheartedly.

“Which you will fail if you die from studying too much,” Magnus replied. “You know there are studies that prove you’re better off getting a good night’s sleep than cramming all night.”

Alec smirked, “You aren’t planning on cramming something tonight?” he asked.

Magnus threw his head back, laughing and suddenly Alec forgot all about studying.

***

Sitting in Alec’s lap, kissing him thoroughly, Magnus was very happy with his decision to come over that night. Isabelle had helped, she’d gotten his number from Clary and texted him, saying Alec was way too focused on his exam and could use a distraction. Magnus had already been entertaining the idea but resisted until that moment.

He hummed happily as Alec trailed kisses across his cheek and down to his neck, biting and licking here and there. His hands were tight, possessive on Magnus’ hips, just how Magnus liked it. They were still fully clothed but Alec’s sweater was pushed up enough for Magnus’ hands to explore his abs. Having seen the way Alec ate and knowing for a fact most his time was taken up by school and studying, Magnus had concluded that Alec had magic abs. His love for them had only grown.

Magnus’ heart started racing painfully when he realized this was it, the moment. Pulling back slightly, Alec followed, not willing to part from Magnus yet and Magnus’ nerves disappeared. He smirked when Alec made a small sound of annoyance and Magnus pulled back fully, removing his hands from under Alec’s shirt to trail up his chest, across his broad shoulders. Magnus was barely aware of his movements, getting lost in Alec’s lust darkened eyes.

As they smiled at each other, all Magnus’ worries disappeared. Alec had to be feeling the same thing right now, it was inevitable that this was where they ended up.

In true Magnus Bane fashion, he wasn’t the littlest bit nervous as he asked, “What would you say to a real date with me?”

***

Alec stopped breathing.

Did he hear Magnus, right? Please, please no. Someone tell him he’d heard wrong.

Alec felt the panic mounting in his chest, making it hard to breathe. And all he could do was stare at Magnus, blinking slowly.

***

“Alexander?” Magnus asked, heart sinking. It was strange, how fast his emotions could change, how he could go from happy and excited to — to crushed, in point five seconds.

As soon as the words were out, Magnus regretted them, not because he wanted to take them back, not because he didn’t want to date Alec. But because he did want it. And now that he left himself admit that he realized he wanted it far too much. And it’d only taken a moment for Alec’s eyes to go blank, for him to shut down.

Alec clearly didn’t want the same thing.

Magnus couldn’t breathe. What had he done? He felt stupid, sitting in Alec’s lap. They were fuck buddies, nothing more. Why would he want to go out with Magnus? He barely knew him and if he actually knew him he wouldn’t even want to be in the same room anymore because Magnus…Magnus was a walking disaster when it came to these things.

He just hadn’t realized it would hurt, losing Alec.

***

Say something! Alec screamed at himself internally. One minute dragged on and on into another. He needed to do something, say something, anything.

“What?” Alec asked.

And he could see that Magnus knew what he felt, knew what he’d say. Could see the hurt in Magnus’ eyes a second before it was covered up. But Magnus merely took a deep breath, sliding off Alec’s lap and straightening his clothes.

“I said,” Magnus said softly. “Would you like to go out with me?”

And then he looked up and Alec forgot how to speak, forgot what words were and was struck by the desire to wipe away the self-deprecating look on Magnus’ face, the look that said he knew Alec could never want him like that but he’d asked anyway. Alec wanted to kiss him, to say yes, to—

But no. That wasn’t what this was. That wasn’t what Alec wanted. Alec couldn’t have that. He wasn’t made for that. He just…had one night stands.

Alec’s mouth opened without his permission and words started falling out before he could stop them, could think them through. “I just…” Alec started, getting to his feet and shaking his head. “I mean…I can’t do that,” he finally said.

Magnus had retreated further from him; he didn’t say anything but raised an eyebrow.

Alec shook his head; this wasn’t coming out right. “I do one night stands,” Alec said bluntly. “I don’t want more; I can’t have more. With school and everything…”

“I just don’t have time for that, right now,” Alec said and it was the truth but it felt like a flimsy excuse, staring at Magnus who just looked…empty. “It’s not the right time, for me. I just—”

“I understand,” Magnus said in a firm voice, breaking into Alec’s rambling.

“ _Magnus,”_ Alec started but Magnus waved his words away.

“It’s fine, Alexander,” he said, voice flat. Alec stared at Magnus who looked anywhere but at him and all he wanted, heart racing in his chest, was for Magnus to look at him so he knew they’d be fine. “This was never supposed to be anything more,” Magnus said and it sounded like the end of…everything. “Anything at all.”

Alec didn’t realize until Magnus took a deep breath, meeting his eyes and saying calmly, “Goodbye, Alexander,” that he was breaking both their hearts but for one clear moment, he did see that. And then the moment passed and Magnus was gone and it was just Alec and his books.

The door shut, the sound echoing on far longer than it should’ve. Alec sat down at his desk but he couldn’t see anything beyond Magnus’ expression as he said goodbye. Surely Alec, awkward, fumbling Alec, couldn’t hurt Magnus… Could he?

***

It’d been stupid, Magnus thought, crawling into bed that night, thankful the Chairman had returned to curl up on his favorite pillow on Magnus’ bed. He never should’ve let himself think that maybe, just maybe, this could be more than it was. That Alec, smart, funny, endlessly kind Alec, could want to be with him in any real way.

The next week at work was miserable, not for Magnus but for all his employees. Magnus dove into his job, not leaving the office until 3 am most nights. He yelled about everything, snapped at everyone and by Monday afternoon most the staff was hiding from him.

It only got worse as the week progressed.

***

Every text Alec sent was left unread, unanswered. Every call was ignored. Alec knew it was his own fault but also…this wasn’t what they’d signed on for, was it? They’d agreed, no strings. That’s what it was supposed to be. He just…he needed to talk to Magnus, to explain. It wasn’t Magnus, if Alec were going to date someone he could only hope for someone half as amazing as Magnus, but Alec wasn’t going to date anyone. He was finally, finally almost done with school and he was… There was so much to do, he didn’t have time for a relationship and it wasn’t his fault.

No strings attached, yet somehow he felt strings hanging everywhere.

Alec texted again, even though he knew he wouldn’t get a reply.

***

Magnus stared at the newest message “I’m sorry I can’t be what you want” and felt like curling up and having a good cry. But Magnus Bane did not cry, especially not over this. He’d been stupid. No strings attached sex, that’s all it’d been. All it was supposed to be. Just because he’d gone and caught feelings…

He shouldn’t have said anything, should’ve just…continued the way things were. At least that way he wouldn’t feel like he was dying.

***

Alec had dinner with his parents and they went on and on about him settling down, getting a job at a good firm after graduation, marrying, making them proud.

He’d been readjusting the tie he was wearing all night, trying to breathe. It was no good.

Alec felt uncomfortable in his own skin, itchy and hot and… _wrong._ He kept spacing out only to find his mother and father glaring at him, waiting for him to answer the newest in a million and one questions about his life.

What was going on? He asked himself, white noise filling his ears as he watched his parents eat dessert, barely touching his own.

He needed — he needed…Magnus. That’s where his mind had been going every day, all day. Magnus, Magnus, _Magnus_. While he was studying, while in class, while taking an exam he tanked…

Once he realized that, everything else was easy.

***

Magnus was out on the balcony, in nothing but a pair of silky purple pajamas, sipping a glass of wine, when the doorbell rang. Magnus barely paid it any mind, walking to answer the door. He was pleasantly buzzed and trying to forget everything. He just needed a little time to get over his little crush and all would be right once more.

To say he was shocked when he opened the door to find Alec — dressed in a black suit, tie crooked, hair a rat’s nest and dark circles around his eyes — was a gross understatement.

He’d assumed Alec would give up eventually and then Magnus wouldn’t even have to worry about ignoring him.

Magnus opened his mouth but Alec rushed forward. Before Magnus knew what was happening their lips were pressed together feverishly and Magnus was opening his mouth to Alec’s probing tongue, heart rocketing around his chest, pulse racing.

Magnus melted into the kiss, sagging against Alec whose hands were holding his face as he kissed him thoroughly.

The door was shut behind them and Alec slowly pulled back, panting as he rested his forehead against Magnus’. Magnus’ mind was racing, trying to catch up.

Alec sighed. “I missed you,” he whispered.

Magnus’ heart constricted painfully but in a good way. He chewed at his bottom lip before replying. “I missed you too, darling.”

Alec smiled, nosing against Magnus’ cheek as his hands lowered to Magnus’ waist, slowly pushing him back against the wall, crowding him with his body.

Magnus fought off a smile as Alec closed his eyes, moving in slowly for another kiss. Magnus surrendered himself to it, part of him hating how much he’d missed this the last two weeks. Missed Alec. Missed his lips. Missed rolling around in the sheets with him. Missed everything, the smell of his aftershave and the little groaning sound he made as Magnus wrapped one leg around him, pulling him closer.

They were both hard already, the last two weeks being pure torture. As they slowly rutted against each other, trying to get a good friction, Alec peppered small kisses across Magnus’ face.

“Missed this,” he panted. “Missed this so much.”

Magnus nodded distractingly, agreeing as he made quick work of Alec’s tie and jacket before ripping his shirt open and scratching his nails up and down Alec’s bare chest.

“Needed this,” Alec groaned as Magnus started kissing up and down his chest, Alec’s hand moving to palm Magnus through his pants.

Magnus froze suddenly, one of those moments where everything clicks and it was the worst kind of realization he came too, the kind that had his stomach sinking, leaving him shaking, feeling like he was going to be sick.

Because, he suddenly realized, this wasn’t some grand confession of love. The exact opposite actually.

***

Alec had missed this so much and after the crappy day he’d had, he’d never needed Magnus more. They could just ignore everything else, just have fun together like always and call it good. Maybe…maybe one day Alec would be ready for more and they could try. But for now, they could just have fun.

And then Magnus froze, going still against him. Alec pulled back immediately before opening his eyes.

His heart froze. Magnus glared at him with so much fury Alec could feel it.

“What?” Alec asked, frowning.

“What is this?” Magnus asked.

“What?” Alec’s mind spun, trying to figure out what was making Magnus look at him like that, like he was…like he’d stolen the last potsticker out from under him only a thousand times worse.

“ _What_ ,” Magnus demanded, “ _Is this_? What we’re doing right now? What is it to you?”

Alec stopped breathing but forced himself to lick his lips, meet Magnus’ gaze and admit, “Sex.”

***

“Just _sex?”_ Magnus asked, already knowing the answer but not knowing how he was still standing.

“Of course,” Alec said and at least he had the decency to look away, appearing slightly shamed. “Just as it’s always been. Isn’t…” he licked his lips. “Isn’t that good enough?”

Magnus shook his head, licking his lips.

“It used to be,” Magnus admitted, wondering if his heart was still there, it’d gone suspiciously silent. “Not anymore.”

Magnus… Magnus couldn’t _breathe._ This was so much worse than the night in Alec’s apartment. Did he think Magnus didn’t mean it? Did he think Magnus was easy and would do anything for a lay? Even push aside real feelings, just to get dick? Did he think Magnus’ feelings really didn’t matter at all, that it was fine to just play around with him and discard him when he was done?

There had been a lot of crappy, painful moments in Magnus’ life. He’d let a lot of people close to him only to have them treat him like shit. But he’d never felt as worthless as he did in that moment. He wasn’t enough. He was a good lay. He wasn’t boyfriend material. He wasn’t worth trying to have something more with. He was a good fuck buddy, that’s all.

“I can’t do this,” Magnus finally said, pushing away from the wall, past Alec, righting his clothes.

Alec opened his mouth but Magnus cut him off, raising a hand. “Please, just leave.”

Magnus move to his drink cart, hating himself for hoping Alec would say something, would refuse to go. But all he heard was the sound of the door closing behind him.

Magnus laughed bitterly, downing a shot of tequila and moving back to the balcony, feeling worse than ever.

“Happy birthday to me,” he muttered, taking another shot.

 

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it...I apparently can't write things without angst anymore! And, you know, I tried to write something super smutty but I feel like I still ended up with more feelings... Oh well, that's me for you. XD
> 
> Hope you all liked this, feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments and I'm on [Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/)!!!


	2. If You're Ready, Come Find Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus figure out what they want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to the lovely Domenica, my inspiration. Sorry this is so late, babe. <3
> 
> Shout out to FangirlBussiness who helped me keep motivated to write this! You're the best friend a person could ask for. <3 And every awesome person who commented or sent me asks. Thank you so much for waiting for so long for this! <3<3<3
> 
> Chapter title inspired by Sigma's Find Me.

There was loud, roaring white noise filling Alec’s head and blocking out everything else. By the time he got home that night, he had no memory of the subway ride or walking to his apartment; no memory of climbing the stairs, unlocking his door and walking through his apartment until he was in his room, falling back on his bed.

Breathing wasn’t the easiest thing. He could hear his own heartbeat but that was all, as it roared through his ears, heart beating painfully against his ribcage.

Alec didn’t hear his phone ring, didn’t notice time passing, all he could see was Magnus’ face in his mind, all he could hear was Magnus’ voice, low and cold, telling him to leave.

Something in Alec’s stomach ached, his breath wasn’t coming as easy as it should’ve been, a stuttering in and out that he had to force. His mind was empty but full at the same time and he couldn’t hold onto any one thought; couldn’t control his thoughts.

Alec went through the night in his head, eyes closed tightly. The day had been too long, too much and he’d just… He’d been missing Magnus, not just the physical act of sex, but being near him too. And okay, the sex too. So he’d gone over and it’d…seemed fine, normal, right? He didn’t do or say anything to make Magnus think it was any different, did he? Magnus knew what Alec felt about being more and…and he’d assumed when they started kissing that Magnus was fine with just…hooking up. Right?

It all made sense in Alec’s head until the moment Magnus pulled back, looking so hurt. Until the guilt filled him to the rim. Magnus’ eyes had gotten this soft, betrayed look and Alec…Alec couldn’t breathe but there was nothing to do. He couldn’t lie to Magnus about what he thought they were doing…

He’d just… He’d hoped Magnus would understand. Understand that it wasn’t Magnus, it was Alec. Alec who doesn’t do — can’t do — relationships. Alec wasn’t good at them. He didn’t have time. He wasn’t…he wasn’t that kind of person. Who would want that from him?

He and Magnus…they had fun. They had a good time. Alec liked being around him. Liked being with him. Alec laughed more around Magnus. He was happy. And Magnus was…Magnus was Magnus, beautiful and loud, kind and intelligent. But Alec didn’t even know his last name! How could it ever be something more?

Alec went over it again and again and again. Every time he remembered the look on Magnus’ face as he asked Alec what he thought they were doing, when Alec said just sex… he felt worse and worse. But he couldn’t help it if that was all he wanted, all he felt. Sure, Alec had misjudged the situation, acted like a jackass and maybe he probably never should’ve shown up there after turning Magnus down…

Alec forgot where he was going with his argument, letting out a frustrated breath. He slipped off the bed, toeing off his shows and throwing his clothes around the room on his way to the shower.

So Magnus was amazing and Alec had fun with him and Alec hated himself for hurting him but…but Alec did what he had to do. And he was a jerk, that’s why he felt guilty but he’d make it up to Magnus by staying away from him. Then at least he couldn’t hurt him anymore.

***

Magnus was not going to sit around, being depressed. He called Raphael and Catarina, even Ragnor, and they all went out. Magnus had always hated his birthday and insisted they do nothing for it, so his friends were happy enough to have him change his mind even if it was practically the middle of the night.

Magnus managed to pass the rest of the night, trying to forget the first part. Unfortunately, by morning, not even his massive hangover could hold off his thoughts.

So what, Magnus thought, jumping into the shower and wincing as the water briefly made his aching head worse before slowly beginning to calm it. So no one ever wanted Magnus, just Magnus. They wanted him for his name as head of Bane CO. Or they wanted him just for fun on the weekends. Or they wanted to be friends and fuck buddies but nothing more. It was fine. No big deal. Magnus wasn’t supposed to do this anymore anyway. He’d closed himself off to that, for a long time. So really…nothing had changed.

Despite everything he’s done in his life, rising from nothing to the head of his own company, graduating with honors, putting himself through school all those years… He just wasn’t enough. Wasn’t good enough for someone to love him like that; like the world could be ending, everything on fire but it wouldn’t matter as long as they had each other. And that was fine. Everyone had to have a flaw, Magnus was unlovable. He could deal with it. He would deal with it.

The next few hours passed with limited thinking, Magnus was too tired and his hangover was too persistent to deal with his depressed thoughts so they got shoved aside.

As soon as he got into work, he made Sampson come in and close all the blinds in his office while he wrote in big letters on a piece of paper DO NOT DISTURB ON PENALTY OF DEATH, which he hung on his door as he kicked Sharron out and shut the door behind him.

Happily in the dark, Magnus turned on the stereo he kept in the corner of his office and sat down to get some work done.

By the end of the day, Magnus had caught up on everything and was twiddling his thumbs. His hangover had left after Simon brought him the best greasy cheeseburger for lunch and now… Magnus didn’t know what to do.

He stared at the clock, it was still hours before he could reasonably go to bed… He absolutely didn’t want to go out drinking again, that had been a mistake. He frowned, what did that even leave?

Magnus was in the middle of building a paper airplane when his door was thrown open. Magnus jumped, nearly falling out of his desk chair as his heart jack hammered in his chest.

“Dear god!” Magnus shouted, glaring up at the person who dared interrupt him, before sighing because he couldn’t fire him. “What do you want?” he asked, glaring.

Raphael showed no sign of having heard him as he quickly walked around the office, throwing all of Magnus’ blackout curtains wide open.

Magnus winced when he got to the balcony, even though the sun had long since sank, there was still the light of the city shining through. Magnus’ eyes hurt as the room was lit, Raphael flipping the light switch.

“Demon,” Magnus hissed, glaring at his friend.

Raphael ignored him. Moving to the cart on the side of the room, he poured a glass of water and brought it to Magnus. “You don’t drink enough water,” was all Raphael said. “I do not trust your imbecile of an assistant to make sure you’ve rehydrated after drinking half the bar last night.”

Magnus glared but took the glass, swallowing it all in one go because he knew Raphael wouldn’t take no for an answer. Setting the glass down, Magnus raised one eyebrow. “Happy now?” he asked.

Raphael ignored him again. Moving to the couch, Raphael sat, spreading out comfortably and staring at Magnus until he sighed and moved to sit across from him.

“What do you want Raphael?” he asked, rubbing his head. He was too tired to deal with this, he just wanted to be alone, in peace.

“I gathered, between your rambling and extensive drinking last night, that you and your little play thing are over, yes?” Raphael said abruptly.

Magnus felt his heart twist painfully in his chest. Swallowing dryly, he merely nodded.

“As your friend, I’m here to give you advice.”

Magnus groaned. “You? Really?” he asked.

Raphael rolled his eyes, standing up. “You’ve been miserable for months now, have you not?”

Magnus frowned, what? He opened his mouth to protest but Raphael continued. “Even before you met the play thing,” he continued, “You were miserable, with your life, your job. You were bored.”

Magnus stood up, rolling his eyes. “Everyone gets bored sometimes, Raph, I’m over it. Look, I’m even caught up on my work,” he said, pointing to his desk that was no longer overflowing with all the things he needed to go over.

“My point exactly,” Raphael said. “You just did all your work.”

Magnus’ frown deepened. He was beginning to wonder if he may have possibly injured his head the night before and had no memory of it. “Huh?” he finally asked.

“When have you ever been caught up on all your work? Normally you spend most your day out there,” Raphael said, gesturing out Magnus’ office door and to the rest of the building. “Going over things with your writers, dealing with the radio station, yelling at the reporters. You interact with the people, you don’t sit in here and do your job.”

“I’m…sorry?” Magnus said, not seeing where this was going.

Raphael sighed, cursing Magnus under his breath. “Instead of focusing on this boy, you need to find something that makes you happy.”

“I am happy,” Magnus said defensively. He really was. Mostly.

“Are you?” Raphael replied, meeting his gaze. Raphael shook his head. “You don’t seem happy, even the assistant has noticed.”

“Sherwin? Really?” Magnus asked, tilting his head to the side. Alec matters aside…Magnus was happy…wasn’t he? “And even if you were right, what exactly do you suggest?”

“Find something that makes you happy,” Raphael repeated. Somehow this was all made worse by coming from Raphael than it would’ve been from any of Magnus’ other friends. Raphael didn’t care much so when he acted like he did…

“Like what?” Magnus asked, rolling his eyes.

Raphael shrugged, moving out of Magnus’ office, into the empty building. He glanced back over his shoulder at the last minute. “Something new, something old. Something you love, that you can put your heart into, Magnus.”

***

One month later…

 

“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Alec glanced up sharply as Isabelle’s voice echoed around his apartment. Pausing with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, Alec raised a questioning eyebrow at his sister. “What?” he asked.

Isabelle sighed, falling dramatically onto the armchair and kicking up her heeled boots. She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “What did I do to deserve this?” she asked, staring straight up. “I’m a good person, why do I have to deal with you and Jace?”

Alec rolled his eyes, finally taking his bite of sweet and sour pork. “Dramatic much, Iz?” he asked.

Isabelle shook her head again. “I’m only going to ask one more time, Alec, and only because I love you,” she said, standing and moving to the coffee table in front of Alec’s spot on the couch. She took his carton of Chinese food from him, making him frown, and then sat on the edge of the coffee table. “Brother dear,” she said, grabbing Alec’s face and forcing him to look at her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she asked in a far too sweet voice.

It was hard for Alec to talk with his face smashed between Isabelle’s hands but he managed to ask, “What do you mean?”

Izzy let go of his head, throwing her arms up in exasperation. “You just took the bar! You’re done with school. That place you were interning at has already offered you another internship, and yet,” she said, standing and pacing around the room like she was so fed up with Alec she couldn’t take it. “You’re miserable!”

Alec frowned, feeling slightly offended. “I’m not miserable, Izzy,” he said. “I’m tired!” It was true, Alec had barely been sleeping the last month, it felt like graduation and then the bar exam had just snuck up on him and he wasn’t that sure he was as ready as he’d thought he’d been to actually be a real lawyer. And that was only if he’d managed not to fuck everything up when he took the test like the sinking feeling in his gut was telling him.

On top of all of that, he didn’t even have a distraction from things anymore since he’d fucked up with Magnus.

He needed to sleep for the next forty-eight hours, maybe then he could be excited.

Isabelle sighed once again and the sound was really starting to annoy Alec but she stopped pacing, sat down again and picked up a carton of pot stickers. Alec glanced away quickly.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Alec working to dismiss all the unwanted thoughts Isabelle’s questions had brought forward.

“When’s Jace coming?” Alec finally asked.

Isabelle shrugged. “Soon he said.”

Alec nodded.

Isabelle leaned back, resting her feet on the coffee table. “We’re going out tomorrow,” she said suddenly. “To celebrate.”

Alec groaned. “You know I—”

“Don’t want to curse it,” Isabelle cut in. “I know. We’re not celebrating anything but you surviving taking the test, which, from the looks of you, was a close call,” she said, smirking.

Alec glared but he couldn’t really argue. “Can we do it the day after tomorrow? I have plans.”

Izzy narrowed her eyes, a mischievous smirk crossing her face. “Plans with Magnus?” she asked, making her eyebrows dance in an absurd look.

Alec nearly choked on the sip of water he was taking. Coughing, he quickly shook his head no. Izzy frowned, moving to hand Alec a napkin.

“You okay?” she asked, concerned.

Alec nodded. “Yeah,” he gasped out. “Fine.”

Izzy looked at him questioningly and he shrugged. “My plans include sleeping, all day,” was all he said.

Isabelle nodded but that suspicious look didn’t leave her face. “What’s with you and your fuck buddy?” she asked. “I get the feeling he wouldn’t mind sleeping with you, all day,” she teased.

Alec felt queasy suddenly. Really, Alec was lucky to have gotten away with it for so long without Izzy wondering, or at least asking. Forcing himself calm, Alec shrugged. “Nothing,” he said simply. “That’s over.”

“Over?” Isabelle gasped, setting aside her plate and frowning. “For how long?”

Alec shrugged. “A month or so.”

“You didn’t say!” Isabelle accused, smacking his arm.

Alec winced. “Why would I?” he asked, shaking his head. “It’s not like we were dating or something.”

“But…” Isabelle shook her head. “What happened?”

Alec shrugged.

“Tell me, Alec,” Isabelle demanded.

Alec sighed. He set his food down, no longer hungry. He didn’t want to think, he wanted to sleep. He’d done his best the last month to forget about Magnus — which wasn’t easy, maybe even completely impossible — he didn’t want to talk about it now.

“It’s not a big deal,” he finally said, leaning back on the couch. “Magnus… Well, we were just casual, you know? No strings. Just sex. Magnus wants a relationship — I don’t know.”

Isabelle frowned. She opened her mouth, shook her head, and frowned again. “Wait,” she finally said, like she needed to make sure she understood this correctly. “So you’re saying, you and this man you’re crazy about, who you’ve casually, no strings attached, been sleeping with for months now, called it quits because he wants something more serious?”

Alec nodded, swallowing dryly.

“And you don’t want something serious?” Isabelle continued.

Alec didn’t like the look on Isabelle’s face, the one that told him he was in for a scolding. Sighing, he nodded.

“And…did he, does he want that something more serious with you?” Isabelle asked, staring Alec right in the eyes.

Alec swallowed, shifting slightly on the couch before shrugging. This was why he hadn’t told Isabelle, she’d want to know everything, want to fix things when there was nothing to fix. Alec was an adult, fully capable of handling his own life.

Alec cleared his throat, avoiding Izzy’s searching gaze. “Maybe, but it doesn’t matter,” he said gruffly. “It was casual, I don’t want a relationship.”

“You don’t?” Isabelle questioned, still frowning. “Why not?”

Alec sighed, looking away. But…it was a fair question. Why didn’t he? Because of the time it took, he didn’t have time for that. And…and the drama. And… Alec had nothing. He shrugged. “I just don’t, Isabelle, not everyone wants that, okay? I don’t have time for a relationship anyway. It’s fine. We ended like we were supposed to, okay?”

Alec snapped a bit but it didn’t faze Isabelle who continued to stare at him like she was psychoanalyzing him. She tiled her head to the side. “Yes, a relationship takes time, Alec,” she started. “But it’s more than that. It’s about everything being worth it because the other person makes you happy, makes all your bad days better and any bad day together, worth it.”

Alec rolled his eyes but Isabelle wasn’t done yet. “Do you miss him?” she asked.

Alec groaned, pushing to his feet. He ran a hand through his hair viciously, pacing back and forth.

“Alec,” Isabelle said sharply. “Do you miss him?”

“It doesn’t matter Isabelle, it’s over. It’s fine,” Alec snapped. “ _I’m_ fine.”

Isabelle stayed where she was, watching him move to the kitchen and grab a soda before standing slowly. “Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll let it go.”

“Thank you.”

“But you know you can always talk to me about these things, right Alec?” she continued, watching him closely. “And…it’s okay to change your mind about something, someone.”

Alec rolled his eyes but squeezed Isabelle’s arm thankfully as he passed her again.

“Can we eat now?” he asked, pointedly looking at the food that was growing cold.

Isabelle laughed, nodding. As they dug in, Isabelle looked up with a widening smile. “You know I’m proud of you, right, big brother?”

***

The last month had, quite frankly, sucked. But this by far, standing in a fancy hotel room waiting for his ex to show up for a random one off, was Magnus’ lowest moment yet.

He moved into the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror and did not like what he saw there. Sure, his makeup was on point and he looked amazing but… But what was he doing? This wasn’t Magnus Bane, damnit! Magnus Bane didn’t go crawling back to a bitch of an ex just because his ego was bruised. So Alec didn’t want him anymore, so what? They were only ever supposed to be fuck buddies, that never ended well. it just so happened Magnus was the one burned this time.

Magnus shook his head at his own reflection before turning and leaving without another word. He left the room, took the elevator to the lobby and left a scathing note to Camille because what the fuck had he been thinking? He splurged on a cab and was home quickly enough.

He was Magnus Bane, he was so much more than a groveling mess. So what if he’d never felt the way he was starting to feel about Alec for anyone else. So what if Alec was the only one out of an extensive number of partners that could take Magnus apart so completely with just a look… There was still plenty of good in Magnus’ life. It was time to get over Alec.

It was just, for months, Magnus had had Alec, to scratch the itch, to make the world disappear. And of course he’d started to feel something, Alec was…amazing. But it was time to get past that. Time to find something new.

Back home, Magnus grinned at Chairman Meow. “Time to come back to life, Chairman,” he announced. The whole way home he’d heard Raphael — fucking Raphael — in his mind, telling him again and again to find something he loved, to find some new obsession. He assumed the snarly man did not mean another sexual partner, so Magnus dug around his loft until he found it; a brand new sketchbook Clary had given him.

“Time to find some inspiration,” he said, sitting down next to Chairman who was curled in a ball on the couch. The cat barely spared him a glance before going back to sleep.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do this alone,” Magnus mumbled.

***

“Stop!” Alec shouted, wincing.

“You’ll jinx it!” Izzy and Jace both said, echoing Alec.

Alec glared at them. They were in a loud, noisy club, with horrible lighting that would have you thinking it was dusk at any time of day. This was not exactly what Alec would’ve chosen to do to celebrate taking the bar exam but Isabelle had been insistent after Alec put it off for a week in a row. He wasn’t crazy to not want to jinx it though.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, reaching for the new row of shots that had just been delivered to their table in the back corner.

Jace held up a hand, grabbing his own shot before toasting, “To Alec, who’s too smart for his own good!”

Alec rolled his eyes, throwing his shot back as Isabelle laughed.

“Thanks, love you too,” Alec said, but he couldn’t help a small smile.

Jace nodded, patting his shoulder. “You know we love you, Alec,” he said, then grew serious. “That’s why we’re paying for the shots.”

Alec rolled his eyes again, quickly signaling to the passing waitress for another round. There were worse ways to celebrate, he thought as Jace and Izzy started arguing over just who was paying for drinks.

Alec’s eyes wandered as he sipped his beer. He was already starting to feel a buzz and made a mental note to take it easy on the shots unless he wanted to forget the whole night by morning.

Maybe, he thought distantly, he could find someone to go home with that night. It’d been…a while. Okay, over a month. He just hadn’t had time to find a new hookup and well, he really needed to scratch the itch now.

His eyes wandered, easily dismissing all the woman, lingering on a few men here and there, standing off to the edge of the crowd, not gridding against a woman. In the dim lighting, he could make out a few candidates but no one that made him hesitate, that made him do a double take. None that made his heart race with one look.

Sighing, Alec tuned back into his sibling’s conversation as Isabelle checked her phone. “Simon and Clary are coming, you don’t mind, do you Alec?” she asked, glancing up at him.

“Course not,” he said, letting his eyes wander again.

He could always fall back on his normal hookup app, he supposed but ever since — recently, that hadn’t sounded nearly as appealing as it used to.

“Are you really going to go work at the gym with Jace?” Isabelle asked suddenly.

Alec looked up to find her frowning at him while Jace rolled his eyes. “Yes,” he said simply. “Just a few days a week, help keep my mind off waiting to hear.”

“You did great, Alec,” Isabelle said firmly. “I know it.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Don’t curse it.”

Isabelle sighed, slapping Alec’s shoulder lightly. “Is Lydia this worried and superstitious?” she asked, glaring at him.

“No,” Alec replied, stealing the olive from Isabelle’s martini. “But she’s also the cleverest person ever. And she doesn’t believe in superstition.”

“You’re just as smart as Lydia,” Jace said rolling his eyes. “So you shouldn’t be worried either.”

Alec fell silent then because he had no great argument there, he and Lydia had tied for top of their class since elementary school after all.

Alec people watched as Jace and Izzy started talking about Isabelle’s classes. He’d given up looking for a one night stand already, he could tell it would be one of those nights where no one measured up. He really, really needed to get over this, he thought. Stop comparing every guy he saw and was considering hooking up with, to Magnus. Stop thinking about Magnus.

Magnus smiling up at him. Magnus laughing in the middle of sex. Magnus reaching up on his toes to kiss Alec. Magnus under—

At first, Alec thought he had to be imagining it, Magnus couldn’t actually be here, in the club, just then. He thought he’d just been thinking about Magnus so much he was seeing wrong. But shaking his head and blinking rapidly did not make Magnus go away.

Alec stopped breathing, just for a moment. Magnus’ eyes met his suddenly and Alec barely registered the fact that Magnus was with Clary and Simon who were coming to join them, because Magnus was looking at him and their eyes met and it was electricity, setting his nerves alight. Alec was staring so intently he saw the shock, followed by a flash of hurt and quickly covered in a blank wall, that crossed Magnus’ face.

Alec only remembered to breathe when Magnus was a few feet away and Isabelle elbowed him in the side. “Stop staring,” Isabelle hissed, before turning to Clary and Simon with a grin. “You made it! And you brought Magnus.”

***

Magnus hadn’t told Sherwin and Clary, he realized suddenly. He’d just…he’d assumed they could figure it out for themselves. Hello? He’d been moping all month! He hadn’t mentioned Alec in weeks! It was obvious! Wasn’t it?

Magnus swallowed dryly, forcing himself to keep walking. To smile when Isabelle turned to them and to ignore the mouthed ‘sorry’ and look of concern on her face as she hugged Magnus.

“Magnus,” Jace said, smiling widely. “Glad you could make it.”

Magnus smiled again, it was fake but didn’t look fake he knew after years and years of practicing it.

Isabelle gestured to the other seats around the table, moving over to the one nearest Alec herself in what Magnus noticed as a calculated move. So Isabelle knew something, he gathered while Jace was as oblivious as Clary and Simon apparently were.

“Congrats on taking the bar, Alec,” Clary was just saying, leaning across to hug Alec with one arm.

Magnus looked up, finally meeting Alec’s gaze then. He was half smiling, half wincing, mumbling something in Clary’s ear before she pulled back. He’d taken the bar, Magnus thought, and then noted the darker than ever circles under his eyes, the fact that his hair was too long like he was overdue for a haircut, and the worry etched around his eyes, Magnus’ quick mind noting and cataloging every little change since they last saw each other. There weren’t many.

“Let’s do shots!” Isabelle declared suddenly.

Magnus blinked, glancing around to see everyone else shifting awkwardly and realized he’d missed whatever had been said before that, as he and Alec just stared at each other.

Okay Bane, Magnus thought, what’s the exit plan? Had he known where they’d end up, he never would’ve let Clary convince him he’d been holed up in his office too long and needed to take a break. Nope. He would’ve stayed at the office all night, doing the most tedious jobs if it meant avoiding this. He was trying to force Alec out of his mind and that was made much more difficult when Alec was right across the table from him.

Magnus grabbed a shot glass as they were placed the table, raising it with the others, even saying ‘to Alec’ before throwing it back. The burn of the alcohol did nothing for his pounding heart.

***

Alec could practically see Magnus trying to figure out how to escape. Squirming in his chair, looking anywhere but at Alec. And Alec hated it. The worst part was he didn’t know why he hated it. He had no reason — no right — to hate it. Of course Magnus didn’t want to be around him. He’d fucked up. And…and he didn’t even regret it. Because they’d said no strings and Alec was just sticking with that, with what he wanted.

He forgot he had no right to hate the situation when Isabelle stood, offered her hand to Magnus and pulled him out onto the dance floor. That was just pure torture. Watching Magnus let go on the dance floor, slowly at first until the moment Alec could practically see him stop thinking. He moved his hips in sinful circles that Alec couldn’t look away from. His movements were hypnotizing and when he turned so Alec could see his face and that he was grinning, Alec forgot how to breathe.

Of course, it got even worse when another man slid up behind him, resting his hands on Magnus’ hips.

“Dude, relax,” Jace said suddenly.

Alec blinked, forcing his gaze away from Magnus to find himself gripping his beer bottle like he was trying to strangle someone. Alec let out a harsh breath, looking up to find Magnus had already gotten rid of the stranger, and was now spinning Isabelle around.

Alec relaxed his grip but quickly chugged the rest of his beer, forcing his eyes away from Magnus once again. He took a deep, ragged breath, ignoring Jace, Clary, and Simon’s identical concerned looks.

“I’m gonna get another beer,” he said, slipping off his stool and making for the bar.

***

Magnus threw back three shots in a row, standing at the bar alone. He’d told himself he wasn’t going drink much but he also hadn’t planned on seeing Alec.

His plan of escape had been cut off the moment Isabelle dragged him to the dance floor. “I don’t know exactly what happened between you two, Magnus, and I’m mostly sorry Clary and Simon brought you here though only because of the look on yourself face right now, I mean my matchmaking slash fixing everything wrong in my brother’s life, powers are tingling to interfere here, but that’s not the point,” Isabelle had said all in a rush as they danced close together, her wide eyes shining. Magnus had only met the young woman a few times but it was impossible not to like her.

“Please, just…stay,” she’d finished by saying. “It’s only one night after all.”

Magnus had no idea why he’d agreed. Probably because he was a masochist who loved wrecking himself on some subconscious level. He should just go home, he knew, sleep off the alcohol he’d already had, get up and do yoga before spending the day on his new project. That was the smart choice. The best choice.

But Alec was like a magnet and Magnus was drawn to him again and again and again. He couldn’t look away and he didn’t want too, not really. He wanted to be stuck in Alec’s orbit. He loved that every time he glanced over his shoulder at the table they all sat at, he’d catch Alec’s eyes quickly looking away. Even if it meant nothing — it meant _nothing,_ he reminded himself. At least…it didn’t mean what Magnus wanted it to mean.

Sitting at the bar, idly flirting with the various bartenders as they passed, Magnus’ drunken mind spun, trying to figure out when his bulletproof plan of just sex went array. Was it that first night they hung out without having sex? Was it when they agreed to hang out with Alec’s siblings together? Was it that night they rented a hotel room again but instead of sleeping together they ended up ordering an obscene amount of room service and watching crappy tv all night? Was it when they somehow went from the door opening and jumping each other’s bones without a word to lazing around and then getting naked? Or was it back before all that, when they set no rules but broke the obvious one: no staying over. A one night stand, just sex, it was supposed to be just that. Hit it then quit it until it was time to start again. Had it ever been that? Magnus couldn’t remember.

See? Magnus told himself, you set yourself up for failure from the beginning. Magnus turned without even noticing the cute bartender that was talking to him, to stare at Alec who was laughing, head thrown back, before his eyes seemed to be pulled straight toward Magnus. Magnus shook his head, Alec’s eyes weren’t pulled to him. Alec wasn’t happy he was there. Was probably hoping he’d leave.

But look at him, Magnus thought, who wouldn’t fall in love with that smile? With those cheek bones? With that laugh and the kindness hiding behind it? He was doomed from the beginning.

***

“Stop eye fucking,” Isabelle whispered sharply, elbowing Alec in the side.

“What?” Alec blurted, nearly spilling his drink. “I’m not — what are you talking about?”

Isabelle rolled her eyes, throwing the rest of her drink back. “If you want him, then get him. Don’t just watch him from the other side of the bar, clearing having sex with him in your head.”

Alec flushed because okay, maybe he’d been remembering certain things, but did Isabelle have to be so blunt about it? Alec stared into his glass, mumbling, “It’s not that easy.”

Isabelle shrugged, slipping off her chair and using Alec’s shoulder to catch herself when she stumbled. “Sure it is, big brother, you got this,” she said, slapping his cheek. Then she stumbled off towards the dance floor, grabbing Simon as she went.

Alec chuckled, watching Isabelle try to teach Simon to dance. It was pointless as the kid insistently did the robot.

“Sherwin sure knows how to charm them.”

Alec looked over slowly, breathing deeply. Magnus slipped into a random seat, no one else was around, Jace and Clary having disappeared long ago. Magnus’ cheeks were flushed with alcohol, but his eyes were clear, sparkling as he stared at the dance floor. Swallowing, Alec looked away again quickly. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it,” he said. “Wait, did you just call him Sherwin?”

Magnus waved the question away. “I don’t have time to learn his name,” he said.

Alec snorted. Finally, he turned to Magnus, mind spinning. “I’m glad you didn’t leave,” he said, staring closely, waiting for a reaction.

Magnus looked up from the drink he was swirling around, shrugging. “Isabelle didn’t really give me much of a choice,” he admitted.

Alec just nodded. He wanted, needed, to say something else but he didn’t know what or how. Magnus looked away again and Alec saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“Look,” Alec blurted suddenly. “It doesn’t have to be weird, right? I mean…we can…we could be friends.”

***

Friends? Magnus thought incredulously. Alec wanted to be his friend. Now. After everything else.

He shook his head slowly, staring at Alec as he shifted uncomfortably, like he already regretted his words. Magnus took him in slowly, like this was the first time he’d seen Alec, the messy dark hair, perfect for gripping during sex. The big, innocent hazel eyes. Jaw sharp enough to cut someone. He was shockingly beautiful without even trying.

Magnus pulled his eyes away, swallowing dryly and ignoring the pang of hurt and longing in his chest. He couldn’t be Alec’s friend. Could he?

Magnus looked at him again and all he could think was how much he wanted to be on his back, Alec above him — nope. Nope. Definitely couldn’t be friends. He wanted too much more than that.

But…but having a part of Alec, something…would that hurt less than having none at all? What would it even mean though, being friends? They’d probably both wake up in the morning and pretend this night never even happened and Magnus would prefer to do that only if something more fun happened.

Magnus didn’t answer, instead he sipped his drink, pretending not to feel the awkward silence until it became too much.

“So you graduated?” Magnus finally asked, more like blurted but he blamed the alcohol for that. He spun his glass around on the table, staring at it rather than Alec, knowing he should just leave but not really wanting to, not being able to bring himself to.

Alec cleared his throat, shifting on the other side of the table. He nodded. “Last month, yeah. _Finally_.”

Magnus wanted to say, ‘I hadn’t known it was coming up so soon’ but he didn’t. He didn’t because there was already a hole growing wider in his chest. Of course he didn’t know, Alec hadn’t wanted him to know. It couldn’t have been more than a couple weeks after they…stopped. Magnus hadn’t even known it was coming up.

The alcohol Magnus had downed wasn’t settling so well now, setting his stomach churning. He didn’t want to feel sad, what was there to feel sad over? The what ifs? That was just a waste of time.

“Congrats,” Magnus said, swallowing dryly.

“Thanks.”

Magnus searched for more words but they were hard to come by. “And took the bar,” he said. “Bet that was fun.”

Alec snorted. For someone who’d just said they could be friends, Alec sure wasn’t doing his part to carry the conversation.

“When will you know if you passed?” Magnus asked even though he really couldn’t care less. All he could see was Alec’s tongue poking out to lick his lips. All he could think was how much he missed Alec. Fuck the emotions, he just missed being with Alec. He missed Alec’s abs.

Magnus’ gaze was wandering down Alec’s chest over the loose shirt that did not do enough to show off the abs hiding beneath. You had one job! Magnus thought at Alec’s shirt.

“A few months,” Alec said, bringing Magnus out of his stupor.

***

Things were almost…fun after that. Another round of drinks and they were both drunk enough to still think but ignore the awkwardness in the air. They spent the next hour or so people watching, making up stories for the man sitting alone at the bar and the woman dancing in the middle of the crowd. And, of course, making fun of Simon’s attempts at dancing which only got funnier as he drank more.

Eventually, Magnus glanced at his phone, checking the time. Alec’s heart sank, for some reason he wasn’t ready for the night to end.

Just then, another round of shots arrived. Frowning, Alec glanced at the bar to find Isabelle waving at them, grinning.

Rolling his eyes, he offered a shot to Magnus who eyed it for a moment, then eyed Alec, before finally taking it.

“To Shelly’s dancing skills,” Magnus offered, holding his glass up before throwing the shot back.

Alec laughed, following suit and wincing at the burning sensation as the alcohol went down.

He opened his eyes to find Magnus smirking at him. “You’re weak,” he said, teasingly.

“Let’s dance,” Alec said.

***

Magnus didn’t know why he said yes other than the fact that he really hadn’t wanted to say no. It was probably a horrible idea but it was only one night, he could pretend none of this happened in the morning.

Alec rested his hands on Magnus’ hips and Magnus forced his racing heart to calm, looping his arms around Alec’s neck and staring off somewhere over his shoulder. Don’t look at him, Magnus thought, feeling a panic in his gut like if he looked at Alec then something horrible would happen. Magnus was ninety percent sure that horrible thing would be completely losing every ounce of self-control once more and he was ninety-nine percent sure he was perfectly fine with that happening.

***

Alec was good. He’d been horrible before, but he’d be good now. There was nothing he wanted more than to keep dancing, to take Magnus home, to feel Magnus’ skin on his again. Alec was hot, suffocating, with Magnus so near. But after one song, he pulled back.

Magnus finally looked at him, meeting his eyes.

Alec swallowed, standing still in the middle of the dark dance floor. Magnus’ eyes narrowed, following Alec’s tongue as he licked his lips.

Magnus breathed out harshly, and Alec was almost positive that look in his eyes was lust — Alec cleared his throat, he did not want to follow that train of thought.

“I should go,” Magnus said.

Alec looked down at him, meeting his eyes. He nodded slowly.

“I have to be up early, work and all,” Magnus explained. They stood there for another minute before Magnus finally nodded, slipping around Alec.

Alec watched him put a tip on the table, and grab his coat before he stepped in front of Magnus, stopping him in place.

“Alec?” Magnus said, staring straight ahead, at Alec’s chest.

“I’ll walk you,” Alec found himself offering. Anything, anything for just another minute, just—

“I’m taking a cab, Alexander.”

If Alec had any hope of reeling himself back in, of stepping away, it was shattered when Magnus said his name. He had to…to try. It was up to Magnus, in the end, but he could try. He was pretty sure Magnus had the same idea in mind.

“I’ll walk you to the cab then,” Alec said.

Magnus finally looked up, staring at Alec for a long moment while Alec searched for an echo of what he was feeling, hoping.

Alec watched Magnus swallowed, eyes narrowing. He stared right into Alec’s eyes, voice impossibly low. “Or we could share a cab,” he said.

Alec nodded slowly. “Sounds perfect.”

***

“Is this how you treat all of your friends, Alexander?” Magnus teased as Alec pushed him back against his door, gripping his hips firmly.

“Shut up,” Alec growled, kissing along Magnus’ neck.

Magnus giggled. “Make me,” he purred causing Alec to moan against his skin.

Magnus would like to say he had no idea how they got to this moment, or that he was too drunk to make good decisions but it would be a lie. They ended up here, rutting against each other against the door in Magnus’ apartment, because they were two consenting adults who wanted this. They ended up here because Magnus was weak and really it was inevitable. He craved Alec’s touch like air when he was drowning.

Part of Magnus knew he’d regret it in the morning and this would only complicate things but that part had been shut up long ago by the part that’d been craving Alec’s warmth, aching to kiss him, touch him, since he first saw him that night. The part that had been needy and on edge since his birthday.

Plus, what was life without mistakes?

Screw his own emotions, Magnus thought as Alec bit down on his neck before kissing the same spot, he needed this.

***

Alec was achingly hard, pressing against Magnus, kissing Magnus. But when he felt Magnus’ hands wander down to his pants, undoing his belt, Alec took a deep breath, forcing himself to step back until not even an inch of their bodies touched.

Magnus made a whining sound that would be the death of Alec, he was sure, but Alec just screwed his eyes shut, taking another deep breath and trying to calm down, at least a little.

When he opened his eyes after another long, painfully slow minute, he found Magnus looking at him, eyes blown wide, hair a mess, shirt halfway unbuttoned — when had Alec even done that? He couldn’t remember.

“What?” Magnus finally asked, impatiently.

Alec chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re so impatient,” he muttered, voice hoarse. He licked his lips, heart beating erratically. “You’re sure about this, right?” he asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I thought that was obvious?” he said.

Alec chuckled. “Consent is everything,” he reminded Magnus who narrowed his eyes, glaring at having his words thrown back at him. Forcing himself to go on Alec said, “And…after everything… I just,” he said, hesitating. He didn’t want to hurt Magnus, not again. Not ever. “Want to be sure you’re okay with this?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You aren’t my first one night stand, or my first mistake, Alec. I’m sure I want to fuck you and I don’t expect anything more of it, okay?”

Alec swallowed a flash of hurt at Magnus’ words, nodding.

Before he could think on it, Magnus stalked forward, pressing Alec back firmly against the wall behind him before asking, “Now, where were we?” and sinking to his knees before Alec.

***

Alec slithered down Magnus’ body, leaving kisses here and there, pausing to bite his hip before continuing down. Magnus dug his hands into the sheets of his bed, closing his eyes tightly and wondering how the hell he’d survived so long without Alec’s touch. It was like…like expensive wine. If you’d never had it, you were fine without. But the moment you tasted it, you were a goner. You could never go back to cheap stuff. Only this was more intense, this was something Magnus couldn’t breathe without.

Magnus moaned, all coherent thoughts leaving his mind as Alec moved his teasing mouth from kissing along Magnus’ thighs to swallowing him whole.

Magnus was doomed. He was about to fall off the edge of the world, and he didn’t even care. Fuck, he’d jumped willingly.

***

Alec didn’t know why, but he found himself dragging everything out for as long as possible, not wanting it to end, endlessly teasing. Magnus didn’t seem to mind, if Alec was reading his moans correctly.

When he got tired of teasing, Magnus let it be known. Pushing Alec off him, he practically hissed, low in his throat, pushing Alec back on the bed and climbing above him. When their erections brushed, Alec moaned low in his throat, the pleasure borderline painful after so much foreplay.

Magnus smirked down at him, running his hands up and down Alec’s chest, over his abs again and again, sending shivers down Alec’s back.

“Oh, how I’ve missed you,” Magnus murmured, staring at Alec’s abs.

Alec laughed. “Are you serious?” he asked, shifting around to make their erections rub together just the littlest bit. Not enough, Alec thought, not nearly enough.

Magnus pressed down on him, “Stay still,” he hissed, glaring. “It’s my turn and I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

Alec laughed again as Magnus went back to stroking his abs, murmuring sweet nothings. His laughter quickly turned to moans though, as Magnus moved his hips slowly and deliberately while licking along Alec’s abs.

Alec threw his head back, thinking there were a lot worse things than Magnus loving — practically worshiping — his abs. In fact, at the moment, he couldn’t think of anything better.

***

Magnus refused to regret it in the morning, waking up to a cold, empty bed. He didn’t know what to be more thankful for, that Alec had waited until he fell asleep to leave, or that he was gone before Magnus woke up, making it easier to pretend he felt nothing.

Slipping into the shower immediately, Magnus forced memories of the night before from his mind. He didn’t even really have to try not to regret it, because he just…didn’t. Maybe it was stupid and they definitely shouldn’t do it again. But…Magnus had wanted it. He thought he probably would’ve regretted it more had he gone home alone the night before.

Everyone needed one last hook up, after all. To get…get it out of the system. Magnus scoffed at himself, like he could ever get Alec out of his system.

The weekend crawled by, Magnus tried to distract himself, mediating, doing yoga, trying to find something he loved, as Raphael had suggested, but even his new project couldn’t distract him from his roaming thoughts. From Alec.

God, why did he do this to himself? Fall for the wrong people. The ones who were bad for him or just…completely unavailable. Why couldn’t he have just let things continue the way they were. Why…why did he convince himself Alec felt the same way?

He made it till Monday morning, somehow, and got to work three hours early, unable to sleep.

Magnus was in the middle of going over a contract for his new morning show host, when someone knocked on his office door. Looking up to find Clary and two cups of coffee, Magnus waved her in, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his forehead.

“You look like you could use this,” Clary said, passing over one of the coffee cups.

“Thank you, biscuit,” Magnus said, nodding. He sipped the coffee immediately, savoring the taste of his favorite latte.

Clary smiled, sitting down in the chair across from Magnus and watching him closely. “Working hard?” she asked, eyes dancing with amusement.

Magnus groaned, leaning back further in his chair. “Raphael thinks something’s wrong with me,” he said. “Please tell you don’t think the same? It is my job to work here, you know, this is my company.”

Clary shook her head, laughing. “I was just making pleasant conversation,” she said, holding up her free hand. “Speaking of, mom wants you to come for dinner soon.”

Magnus nodded, sipping on his drink and pulling up solitaire on his computer as Clary talked about her mother’s upcoming wedding and how Simon’s band was going to play and Luke seemed happier than ever.

Finally, she stopped to consider him. Magnus felt her gaze on him, eyes narrowed and searching. He adamantly ignored it.

“What happened to you, Friday night? You seemed…strange,” Clary finally said.

Magnus closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. This was where the conversation was going the whole time he knew. Why couldn’t he have friends, and employees, who didn’t care about him at all? Life would be easier.

Taking another breath, Magnus shrugged casually. “Alec and I,” he said, voice carefully blank. “Aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

The irony of finally telling Clary two days after sleeping with Alec again precisely because he hadn’t told her, was not lost on Magnus who pretended not to feel a thing as he reassured Clary that it was no big deal to have had to go out with him on Friday night. No big deal at all.

***

If Alec had been confused before now…now, he had absolutely no idea what the fuck he was doing. What had he been thinking? Oh wait, he hadn’t been, that’s right. Fuck, Alec thought, fuck, fuck, fuck. It was the same thought that had been going through his mind all weekend, since he slipped out of Magnus’ apartment early Saturday morning.

What was he doing? He’d fucked things up. Their casual relationship was over. He should be ignoring Magnus, moving on because he was the one who’d ended things. Rightfully so. It was just hooking up…and that’s all it’d been Friday night too but…but Alec knew Magnus had feelings now. That changed everything. Because Magnus…Magnus was amazing, and he deserved someone who wanted to do more than just hook up.

Even if Alec was already craving his touch again. Even if, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how to get Magnus out of his system.

Alec spent most the weekend at Jace’s gym. Jace had him scheduled to start teaching introductory classes the next week. Growing up, all three Lightwoods had learned all manner of fighting styles, among other random lessons their parents had demanded. No one had taken to it like Jace, sure Izzy and Alec were just as good but they didn’t love it the way Jace did. Jace’s studio currently specialized in self-defense and it’d been successful since he first opened nearly two years before despite their parent’s disapproval of him dropping out of med school for it. He was already planning on expanding.

In the back of the gym was Alec’s favorite thing; the punching bag. It kept him occupied most of the weekend.

Unfortunately, every down moment had his mind turning back to Magnus. And…well, that just confused him.

***

Magnus was weak. He’d never thought of himself that way before, had done everything to prove to everyone that he wasn’t. But…when it came to Alexander Lightwood, Magnus had no defenses.

He tried, he really, really tried to keep Alec out of his mind. It was just, the second his mind strayed, while watching TV, getting lunch with Cat, working…well, suddenly he was picturing Alec, half naked, sinking to his knees.

Magnus shook his head roughly. Enough, he told himself firmly, riding the elevator up to his office. The elevator opened on his floor where all his little minions sat at their desks, work, work, working.

Spotting Simon playing air drums again, Magnus quickly passed his desk, shouting, “Sherwin, you’re fired,” on his way.

“Wait — what?” Simon squeaked out, nearly falling off his chair in his rush to stand up.

Magnus turned to face Simon, using his back to open his office door, he smirked. “Kidding.”

Simon’s face had gone pale and now he slumped with relief, falling back into his chair with a sigh. “That was not very nice,” he mumbled, turning to his computer.

Magnus shrugged. “You play terrible air drums,” he said, slipping into his office without another word.

It really wasn’t Magnus’ fault his mind kept turning to Alec and…certain things he liked to do to and with Alec. It’d been over a month since they…stopped whatever they were doing and even before that, there’d been a few strange weeks between them. And there’d been no one else since. So, of course, Magnus was a little horny. _Of course_ his mind kept turning to Alec, naked and flushed beneath him. Or above him. Behind—

Magnus shook his head.

No, he told himself firmly. He poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot Samuel had ready for him and took his place behind his desk. It was time to get to work.

***

All day, Alec’s mind kept wandering in one specific direction. If he was honest, it’d been happening all week. Hell, all month. It had just gotten worse since Friday night. Like he’d been denied something he was craving for so long and then he finally got it only it was just a bite, just a taste. And now? Now he needed more. He wanted more. He just wasn’t quite desperate enough to let himself try to get it.

No. He’d been horrible enough to Magnus. He’d let things go further than they should’ve Friday night. Now he just…had to let it go.

When his final class for the day ended, Alec showered in the backroom, pleasantly sore from the constant work out.

Jace was in the front office when Alec got out.

“Oh hey,” Jace said, looking up from his computer when Alec popped his head in the door. “You’ve been doing great,” he said, grinning. “All the kids love you already.”

Alec laughed. “Yeah, because I don’t scare them the way you and Raj do,” he said, leaning against the door frame.

“I’m not scary,” Jace said, frowning. “Am I?”

Alec shrugged, looking away so he didn’t have to answer. “Want to get a drink?” he asked, nodding towards the front door. “Raj said there’s a new bar down the street.”

Jace had turned back to his computer already, and waved the offer away. “Nah, I gotta finish a few things here. You go, have fun. For the love of god, find someone to go home with.”

Alec flipped him off on his way out. But…well, it wasn’t a terrible idea, Alec thought. Finding someone new, he hadn’t had sex with someone who wasn’t Magnus in…he couldn’t remember how many months. There’d been no point because there’d been Magnus.

Alec shook his head, swallowing dryly. A one night stand would do him good.

***

Magnus lasted until Wednesday night. It was late, he was the last one in the office and no matter how many times he told himself to focus, finish editing the cover story, his mind continuously wandered.

Really, no one could blame him. Alec was the best sex of his life and he hadn’t had any one else in…months. He just needed…someone new.

Magnus nodded to himself, closing out of the cover story and grabbing his jacket. That was exactly what he needed, a distraction. Something, someone, to finally truly get Alec out of his system. And he knew just the place to go.

***

The bar turned out to be a more fancy club, the kind Alec normally hated, but he was already there so he went in. If nothing else, he’d have a drink or two and pull out the old trusty hookup app.

Inside, it was all low blue lights, velvet booths, and shockingly beautiful people. Alec frowned, slipping through the crowd. Did they have a rule here about how hot one must be to get in?

Low music pulsed through the room, sweaty people danced all around, pressed close to each other. It all made Alec feel a little claustrophobic if he was being honest.

Finally making it to the bar, Alec ordered a drink and turned to look out at the crowd.

***

Ragnor had opened the club just a few blocks from Bane Co. It was the perfect place to go to find someone to make him forget. Magnus cut the line, slipping in behind the bouncer without a problem. Inside, low blue light surrounded him and he slipped through the crowd, dancing a little here and there. This was exactly what he needed. Get back to being himself once more.

A stranger gripped Magnus’ waist, swaying with him for a minute. Magnus laughed, throwing his head back before grabbing the stranger’s hand and using it to twirl himself to the bar. Looking up, Magnus’ smile froze on his face.

The universe was clearly playing a joke and Magnus was the punchline.

***

Alec swallowed his drink, eyes locked on Magnus. How did this keep happening? he asked himself. Alec stayed frozen on his bar stool, eyes locked on Magnus who had stopped a foot or two from the bar, staring at Alec.

Alec wouldn’t make the first move, he’d just sit here. If Magnus wanted to pretend he wasn’t there, that was fine. If Magnus wanted something else…that was fine too.

Finally, Magnus shook his head, laughing to himself. Alec’s eyes got caught on his neck as he threw his head back, there was still a mark from Friday night. Alec swallowed dryly.

Magnus approached the bar, grabbing the drink the bartender had just refilled for Alec and throwing it back.

“Fancy meting you here,” Magnus said, turning to Alec slowly. There was barely an inch or two between them, that was how close Magnus stood.

Alec nodded, giving him a weary smile. “Do you work near here?” he asked, for lack of anything better to say. His heart was racing, palms were sweaty. He was trying very hard not to imagine pulling Magnus out onto the dance floor, dancing outrageously close before hurrying back to whichever apartment was nearer — Alec cut his imagination off there, blinking to bring Magnus back into focus.

Magnus was nodding, eyes narrowed as he considered Alec.

Magnus moved closer then, cupping Alec’s face with one hand, making his heart race. Magnus’ eyes shined nearly gold under the dim lights, his lips just a bare centimeter away.

Alec was fucked.

***

It wasn’t even a decision. There was nothing to think about. It was inevitable because no matter how many times he told himself he shouldn’t — shouldn’t want it, shouldn’t do it — Magnus wanted Alec. Any way he could have him.

Leaning close in the club, Magnus met Alec’s gaze without an ounce of hesitation. “Care to share a cab?”

***

The cab ride was long and torturous, they didn’t touch; it felt like part of the game. Alec wasn’t sure what they were playing anymore, what the rules were. But as long as Magnus was in, Alec couldn’t turn away. He didn’t want to.

By the time the cab finally dropped them off at Magnus’ apartment, Alec was on fire from the inside out. Every one of his nerve endings alight. Craving Magnus’ touch. His mind already in Magnus apartment with far fewer clothes between them.

Alec hesitated outside the cab, what if Magnus changed his mind? What if he wasn’t sure? Alec…Alec didn’t want to do this if Magnus wasn’t sure.

Magnus looked over his shoulder on the way to the door to his building. He rolled his eyes. “Are you coming?”

Alec shook his head, snapping out of it. There was no reason this had to be weird. It could be just like it’d always been.

Sliding up behind Magnus, he whispered, “Not yet, but hopefully soon.”

Magnus laughed, grabbing his hand and hauling him inside.

***

Chairman Meow bolted the moment the door was open, Magnus saw him on the windowsill and then gone. Luckily, he was soon distracted, being pressed up against the nearest wall.

Magnus didn’t hesitate, opening his mouth for Alec, gripping his shoulders and wrapping one leg around his waist, pulling him in close.

The world dimmed around them, Magnus’ mind slowed and then stopped until all he knew was Alec and the way he made Magnus feel; like he would come apart with the smallest brush of lips, the lightest touch. Nothing else mattered.

***

Alec had never found it so hard to quit someone before. It’d only ever been one night stands. And no matter how good it was, how hot they were, it was over after one night. He’d had one relationship, his first year in college, with Raj, and that hadn’t lasted long. Alec had ended it a few months in because he just didn’t care for Raj and he didn’t have time for a relationship.

But Magnus…

Alec shivered as Magnus pressed in slowly, too slowly.

Magnus was a different story entirely. And Alec was beginning to realize he didn’t really mind that as much as he thought he should.

***

“So, it’s fine, perfectly fine. Normal even. This is what we do after all,” Magnus said, pacing back and forth through the loft. He was bare foot and bare chested, wearing loose fitting pants. “We have casual sex. That means nothing. It’s nothing new…”

Magnus sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. He hadn’t showered yet. Alec had once again left during the night, leaving Magnus to wake up to Chairman Meow, whining for food.

Magnus now talked to the cat who sat a few feet away, on the comfortable, uber expensive rug he’d claimed for his own. Cleaning himself with no regards to Magnus’ internal struggle.

“And okay, sure, I had to go and catch feelings for him because he makes my toes curl with one look and I swear to god, one touch could make me orgasm. And he’s nice and funny and you’ve seen him, he may as well have been carved by the gods themselves. But I digress. I can have casual sex with someone I have feelings for. I’m a grown adult. I can handle these things.”

He turned to Chairman Meow for conformation. The cat gave him a look before jumping up and scurrying under the bed.

“Fat lot of help you’ve been,” Magnus muttered, moving to the bathroom to shower.

It was fine. He could totally do this.

It didn’t have to be all or nothing, Magnus reasoned with himself. Why couldn’t it just be what it’d always been? He could handle that, couldn’t he? Magnus shook his head, slipping out of his pants. What the hell was he thinking? He couldn’t just continue to sleep with Alec, pretending it meant nothing when they both knew it meant something to Magnus… But what if he could?

Magnus threw his phone across the room when he realized he’d grabbed it and pulled Alec’s number up. What the hell was he thinking? What was he doing?

Last night. That…that had to be a onetime thing. Okay, two-time thing, technically. They were lonely — Magnus was at least. He’d needed companionship. It was fine. Nothing.

Magnus was skilled in a lot of things, including lying to himself. This came in handy a lot.

***

Alec was fucking screwed. He couldn’t get Magnus out of his mind. It was like the first time all over again, when he’d thought it wouldn’t happen again. When he’d told himself Magnus was a one night stand and that’s all. When he couldn’t stop thinking about it, him. When he’d had to go back, again and again and again…

He could tell himself it was just the sex all he wanted, and that was part of it, it always had been but… But he’d missed Magnus. For a month. And it wasn’t just the sex. It was…everything.

Alec hit the punching bag harder, again and again, and again. It didn’t get rid of the churning in his stomach. The want.

He wouldn’t go to Magnus, he promised himself. He wouldn’t. As much as he wanted their casual relationship back, he wouldn’t do that to Magnus. He wouldn’t put Magnus in that position. He didn’t want Magnus to think…to think Alec was a completely heartless person. Even though he had no reason not to.

***

Magnus knocked on Alec’s door the next night.

Alec answered a few moments later, dressed in sweats and a loose hoodie, hair a mess, looking like he’d been ready to sleep. And wow, that was a good look on him, Magnus thought as his stomach did flips.

“Magnus?” Alec asked, eyes growing wide.

Magnus didn’t say anything, reaching up, he looped his hands around Alec’s neck, bringing him down close and pressing their mouths together. Alec didn’t hesitate to return his kiss, hands moving to grip Magnus’ hips and pull him inside. Alec pressed him back against the door, using Magnus’ back to close it.

Magnus broke away with a laugh, before moving his mouth down Alec’s jaw, to his neck, hands slipping under his hoodie.

Alec’s hands went to Magnus’ shirt, unbuttoning it quickly. They broke apart long enough to get rid of both shirts, before slamming back together. Like they’d done countless times before. Like it was inevitable. Like they couldn’t help it.

Before he knew it, Magnus was panting in Alec’s mouth, both legs wrapped around Alec, pressed back against the door with his pants open. Alec pulled back suddenly, leaving Magnus reaching for more.

Magnus’ hands roamed over his abs, across his chest, unable to stop touching him. “What?” Magnus asked when Alec didn’t immediately go back to kissing him, opening his eyes slowly to see Alec’s screwed shut as he breathed deeply.

Alec shook his head. Magnus’ hands stilled, heart sinking. He forced himself to stay still, face blank even as panic filled him. If Alec turned him down…

Alec finally opened his eyes again, searching Magnus’ face for…something. Their breath mingled between them as their hearts raced in sync. Alec must’ve found whatever he was looking for because he pressed forward again suddenly, muffling Magnus’ surprised gasp with a kiss. The panic dissipated as fast as it’d arrived.

Magnus tangled his hands in Alec’s hair, deepening the kiss. Kissing Alec was…was so much different than kissing anyone else. Better. Magnus loved it. He could spend the rest of his life doing nothing but kissing Alec and be completely fulfilled. It made his heart race, toes curl, and stomach do flips. Sent electricity through his veins, set his blood on fire as their tongues danced.

“What are we doing?” Alec asked, breaking away again, trailing messy kisses down Magnus’ neck.

Magnus slipped one hand down Alec’s body, the angle awkward. “What we’ve always done, Alec. What we do best,” he said, slipping his hand past the waistband of Alec’s pants.

Alec groaned against Magnus’ neck, twitching at the lightest touch of Magnus’ fingers. “And—” Alec said, pausing to lick his lips, voice hoarse suddenly. “And you’re okay with that?”

Magnus rolled his eyes, doing his best to distract Alec with his hand but the angle was odd. “Obviously,” Magnus said, moving to bite his ear. “Now are we going to talk or are we going to fuck?”

***

Alec had no idea what they were doing, what he was doing. What he did know was nights without Magnus were long, never ending. Lonely.

He knew this was a bad idea, no way it ended well. But…he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want too. As long as Magnus was okay with it, which he seemed to be considering he initiated it every time over the last week… Alec craved his touch, craved him, too much to say no.

It was no big deal really, right? They were just…back to being what they always were. And it was good, so good.

Alec no longer knew what he wanted, only that the thought of Magnus leaving again, calling it quits, left a horrible taste in his mouth. Alec started putting in extra hours at the gym, drowning his thoughts out, teaching kids how to protect themselves and wondering if he had any real idea how to protect anyone.

***

It was just like before, too much like before. Magnus didn’t know what he was doing but he couldn’t help it, he really couldn’t. Alec was like an addiction Magnus just couldn’t quit. And he was okay with that… Or not okay with it, there was so much he wished he could change but he couldn’t. So he was…content.

It only got hard when things started slipping, when they let themselves pretend too much. When Magnus found himself laughing at Alec’s stupid jokes or trying to get a rise out of him with shameless innuendos. When it felt too much like love and not enough like just sex. Then it got hard to remember, hard to breathe.

***

Alec moaned, chasing Magnus’ lips as he moved back slowly. They were on the couch in Alec’s apartment, Alec stretched out on his back, Magnus straddling him, torturing him with long, drawn out kisses while slowly grinding against him, both still fully clothed.

“Tut tut,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “So impatient today,” he said, voice low and sexy as he sat up enough to start unbuttoning Alec’s shirt.

“You’re impatient,” Alec muttered back, closing his eyes and settling in to let Magnus do whatever he wanted. Alec knew this couldn’t last, it was too good, too much like before. And…and he knew he should stop it, he was the one who’d stopped it before, ruined it but…but he couldn’t bring himself to deny Magnus. He wanted it too much.

Magnus moved back further once Alec’s shirt was open, shifting until he could get to Alec’s pants. Alec twitched as Magnus’ hand rubbed him through his jeans before he unbuttoned and unzipped Alec’s pants. Magnus looked up at Alec, eyes locking as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to each of Alec’s hipbones, tongue leaving a wet path as it then followed his happy trail to the edge of his boxers.

Alec groaned, closing his eyes. Magnus looked far too sexy doing that.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, voice low and hoarse.

Alec’s eyes flicked open when Magnus—

There was knock on the door. Alec’s mind spun for a minute, who the hell — “Shit,” he muttered, sitting up as Magnus stood, still fully dressed, eyebrows raised. “If you want to have a three way, you must ask, darling,” Magnus teased.

Alec rolled his eyes. “It’s pizza,” he said, working to button his shirt back up. “I forgot I ordered in.”

Magnus suddenly reached out, slapping Alec’s hands away from his shirt. “Don’t mess up my work,” he chided, moving to the door.

“Well, hello handsome,” Magnus said, pulling the door open to find a cute, bearded delivery man. Alec rolled his eyes, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Do you have a _package_ for me?” Magnus asked, leaning casually against the door frame. Alec nearly choked on a laugh.

The frown was evident in the delivery man’s voice as he asked “Did you order a pizza?”

Magnus’ voice was low and sexy and Alec could picture him batting his eyes. The poor pizza man, Alec thought, biting back a grin. “Is it…” Magnus paused. “ _Extra-large_?”

Alec snorted, covering his face with his hand. He’d never be able to order in again.

“Yes?”

“Lovely,” Magnus purred. “Is it _meat lovers_?”

“Magnus!” Alec shouted suddenly, voice strangled.

Magnus straightened up, flashing a grin over his shoulder. Alec stood up, grabbing his wallet and standing behind Magnus, hair disheveled, shirt open. He paid the poor wide eyed pizza guy, who eyed the two of them, frowning. “It’s vegetarian actually.”

“Lovely,” Magnus said, grabbing the pizza and swinging the door shut.

Alec rested his forehead on the back of Magnus’ head, sighing.

“Hungry?” Magnus asked, turning around.

Alec shook his head. “I can’t believe you,” he said, but he was grinning.

“What? I just feel bad for the delivery man, he had no idea what I was talking about! And there was no way he was extra-large if you know what I mean,” Magnus said, looking at Alec’s open pants pointedly.

Alec snorted again, quickly zipping himself up.

Magnus pouted. “I told you not to ruin my work,” he said.

Alec smirked taking the pizza from Magnus and pressing a kiss to Magnus’ cheek, not noticing the way Magnus’ breath hitched.

“Hungry?” Alec asked, pulling out plates.

“Starving,” Magnus said, following and pulling himself up on the counter. “But what I want isn’t on the menu,” he teased.

Alec didn’t have to glance over his shoulder to know Magnus was eyeing his ass as he leaned over, pulling a couple bottles of water from the fridge. “Maybe for desert?” he offered, turning around and passing the water to Magnus who sighed. “I guess I can wait.”

Alec rolled his eyes, moving to the dining table. He sat down and Magnus slowly followed. Instead of sitting in one of the other chairs, Magnus sat on the table, right next to Alec’s plate.

Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus, who hummed to himself, grabbing a piece of pizza. Before that moment, Alec would’ve sworn there was nothing sexy about someone eating a slice of pizza. He would’ve been wrong.

Alec closed his eyes, groaning and shaking his head.

“Something wrong?” Magnus asked chipperly.

Alec shook his head, keeping his eyes closed.

“You sure?” Magnus asked. When Alec opened his eyes, Magnus was smirking knowingly.

“You’re obscene,” Alec declared dryly. “Is there anything you can’t make sexy?”

“Flip flops,” Magnus said without hesitation. “But who can make those sexy?”

Alec snorted, picking up a piece of pizza and leaning back in his chair to look up at Magnus. “That all?” he asked.

Magnus tilted his head to the side, chewing thoughtfully. “Yup, that’s it. My sexiness knows no bounds. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Alec laughed, staring up at Magnus who grinned down at him. Alec’s heart raced, he could feel his expression soften, he couldn’t help it. He…he loved this so much. He—

Alec’s thoughts cut off as Magnus set his pizza down, moving Alec’s plate and sliding over in front of Alec. Alec’s eyes locked on Magnus’ fingers as they moved to the edge of his shirt, slowly pulling it up over his head, revealing Magnus’ toned torso.

Magnus raised an eyebrow in silent challenge and Alec forgot all about the pizza, leaning forward and pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Magnus’ stomach.

Magnus ran his hands through Alec’s hair, tugging until he looked up.

“Alec,” Magnus said in a low, hoarse voice. He reached out, tilting Alec’s chin up until their eyes locked.

“Yeah?” Alec asked, considering Magnus’ narrowed, shining eyes before trailing his back down Magnus’ chest.

“Kiss me.”

Alec’s eyes shot back up to Magnus’. Magnus watched, unblinking, doing nothing more than raising one eyebrow.

Alec swallowed and nodded, pushing back his chair to stand. He slipped one hand behind Magnus’ head, the other grabbing Magnus’ hand and squeezing.

“Yeah, okay,” he said before lunging forward to capture Magnus’ lips with his own, he wasn’t that hungry anyway.

***

Magnus wasn’t surprised to come home after a long week of work to find Alec leaning against his door. Things were…good, too good. Casual. Just sex.

Seeing Alec still made Magnus’ heart race but he was doing his best not to think about this, ignore the feelings it gave him during the day when he came back to the real world, leaving behind the fantasyland he and Alec created every other night. Because if he thought about it, he’d have to stop because the rational part of him would tell him how stupid he was being, would tell him he needed to guard his heart.

Alec smiled, holding out a hand that Magnus automatically took. He pulled Magnus in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Pack a bag,” Alec said, grinning when he pulled back. “I have a surprise.”

Magnus didn’t question it, he just kissed Alec again.

It was a little scary to realize while throwing a few things in a bag that he would go anywhere, do anything with Alec. It was getting harder and harder to deny the feeling that filled him every time he saw or thought about Alec. Harder and harder to forget that Alec didn’t feel the same.

Magnus swallowed, turning back to Alec when he was done.

“Ready?”

“Ready,” Magnus said, forcing a smirk. “This better be worth my while, I had planned to ravish you on my dining room table tonight.”

Alec’s eyes narrowed, cheeks flushing just the littlest bit as Magnus walked past him, handing Alec his bag to carry.

***

Alec didn’t know why he did it but the thought entered his mind and he couldn’t help it. He wanted to spend more than a night with Magnus and this seemed perfect.

Things had been good, so good. As long as Alec didn’t think too much.

Magnus grinned when the cab stopped in front of the hotel. “Are you planning to ax murder me?” Magnus teased and Alec’s breath caught for a minute because that’d been his first thought, all those months ago when he showed up at this hotel for a one night stand.

God, Alec thought, this beautiful man was going to be the death of him.

Alec climbed out of the cab and tugged Magnus close when he followed. He pressed a soft kiss to Magnus’ lips. “I had something much more…pleasurable in mind.”

***

“You are an evil, evil man,” Magnus said, reaching again for the wine glass that Alec held just out of his reach.

They were in the hot tub, out on the deck of the suite Alec had rented for the night. Magnus eyed Alec, glaring.

“Apologize,” Alec said, eyes shining in the dark.

Magnus folded his arms across his chest. “I will do no such thing.”

Alec raised his eyebrow slowly, continuing to hold the wine out of Magnus’ reach.

“I’m just saying,” Magnus said, smirking. “With all the work you’re doing with Jace at the studio, I would just think you’d get more toned and instead…”

Alec glared. “Are you serious? Have you seen my abs recently?”

Magnus shrugged.

“Take it back or no wine,” Alec threatened.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. “Please, I can get that whenever I want,” he said, retreating to the far side of the hot tub.

“Oh really?” Alec asked.

Magnus nodded.

“Prove it.”

Magnus smirked, turning narrowed, bed room eyes on Alec before crossing the small hot tub again. Instead of reaching up for the wine glass that Alec held out of his reach, Magnus rested his hands on Alec’s shoulders, pressing him back against the side of the hot tub and straddling his lap. Without pause, Magnus pressed forward, kissing Alec, quick and dirty.

Within seconds, Alec lowered his arm and, still kissing, Magnus reached out, taking the glass from him.

Alec didn’t seem to mind, wrapping his arms around Magnus under the water and pulling him even closer.

Magnus broke away with a self-satisfied grin, pretending he wasn’t as breathless as Alec was. Magnus sipped his wine while his free hand ran over Alec’s muscles. “Fine,” he sighed. “I only said that to try and tame your wild ego.”

Alec threw his head back laughing. “My ego?” he asked incredulously.

Magnus was satisfied to see that Alec’s pupils were blown wide, and he still sounded breathless. Magnus was a great kisser.

“Yes, it’s massive,” Magnus said, offering the glass to Alec. He held it while Alec took a sip, their eyes locked.

Magnus smiled, he could feel himself getting lost in Alec, in this. He knew he should pull back, this was going too far again. They couldn’t be what they were before…or they shouldn’t be? Everything was getting confused again because…because this was what he wanted. But also it wasn’t, was it? It wasn’t a relationship, it wasn’t love. It was just…sex. The best sex he’d ever had but that was neither here nor there.

“No thinking,” Alec whispered suddenly. One hand coming up to rest lightly on Magnus’ cheek, Alec rubbed his thumb in comforting circles. Magnus blinked, refocusing on the man he was straddling. Alec’s eyes were heartbreaking, wide and full of possibilities. Magnus swallowed, letting Alec pull him in for a light kiss, looping his arms behind Alec’s neck.

It was a slow, perfect night. No rushing. A night when it felt like they had all the time in the world and Magnus wasted none of it on thinking. They stayed in the hot tub, Magnus slowly rubbing his erection against Alec, kissing, barely remembering to breathe, for an endless amount of time, until finally, Alec broke away, gasping Magnus’ name.

Magnus nodded, standing and climbing out of the hot tub. He reached back for Alec’s hand, pulling him with him. Magnus grabbed one of the towels they’d left off to the side, slowly running it up Alec’s arms, across his gleaming chest, pausing to press a kiss to Alec’s warm skin here and there until Alec pulled him for another deep, breathtaking kiss.

When they parted, Alec grabbed the other towel, slowly drying Magnus off before tossing it aside. Taking both Magnus’ hands in his, Alec walked backwards into the hotel room, eyes locked on Magnus’. They didn’t say anything because they didn’t need too and because neither of them wanted to break this silence, this perfect silence.

Alec sat on the edge of the big, cozy bed, spreading his legs and tugging Magnus close. Magnus buried his hands in Alec’s hair before slowly bringing their mouths together, tongues tangling in a frantic dance, as Alec ran his hands up and down Magnus’ bare sides.

Stepping back, Magnus slowly lowered his shorts. Standing, Alec did the same before lying back on the bed, hand held out for Magnus who wasted no time crawling over him.

“Magnus?” Alec said suddenly, as Magnus kissed down his chest. Alec’s voice was like a sudden explosion in the quiet, sending Magnus’ heart racing.

Magnus continued worshipping Alec’s abs, lifting his head only for a minute to raise an eyebrow.

Alec tangled his hand in Magnus’ hair, searching for some part of him touch. Magnus glanced up again to see his eyes shut before he asked, “Will you stay the weekend? Here. With me.”

Magnus paused, Alec’s abs not even enough to keep him distracted. His heart pounded, loud and fast. He pulled back slightly, mind spinning but…but what was there to think about? Moving back up to Alec’s lips, Magnus kissed him slowly and thoroughly. “Yes,” he said when he pulled back.

Alec’s eyes opened slowly. “Yeah?” he asked, voice strained.

Magnus nodded, grinning. “Of course, I can’t say no to these,” he said, running his hand over Alec’s abs again.

Alec laughed, grabbing Magnus’ sides and flipping their positions.

“You only care about my abs, don’t you?” he said, kissing down Magnus neck as one hand moved distractingly down Magnus’ body.

“That-that’s not true,” Magnus said, breath hitching as Alec’s hand brushed against his hard length. Magnus licked his lips, trying to clear his mind. “There are other parts of your body that I quite like,” he finally spit out, panting as Alec’s hand wrapped around him, moving slowly, too slowly.

“Oh yeah?” Alec asked, lips still busy on Magnus’ neck.

“Y—yeah,” Magnus moaned.

Alec’s hand disappeared suddenly, leaving Magnus to groan in annoyance. Alec laughed, moving his lips back to Magnus’. “That’s good to know,” he muttered.

***

After their weekend at the hotel, they didn’t see each other again until the next Friday. There was never a lot of talking between hookups but every time Alec texted, Magnus said he was busy. It left an uncertain feeling in Alec’s chest, worry eating at his gut. Ever since they left the hotel things had felt weird, Magnus had been stiff, distant all morning after they checked out, insisting on leaving early because he had things to do. It was like…he was pulling back. Had Alec gone too far? Had he tucked everything up again?

When Alec got home Friday to find Magnus waiting outside his apartment, he felt so relieved, a grin crossing his face. Things were just getting back to normal, he wanted to keep it that way.

Magnus stepped to the side, letting Alec pass to open the door.

Once inside, Magnus grabbed Alec, pulling him in for a heated kiss before pushing him away a second later.

“Ew,” Magnus said, scrambling to try to get away. “You’re all sweaty and gross.”

“So?” Alec asked, keeping his arms locked around Magnus and chuckling. “I’m always sweaty and gross by the end of the night,” he said, winking.

Magnus stopped squirming to glare at Alec, trying his hardest to keep a bare inch between them. “Yes, but by then I’m naked and happy, and you’re not ruining my favorite shirt.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “You don’t have a favorite shirt,” he accused. “You love all your clothes equally.”

Magnus’ eyes narrowed further. “You smell,” he said.

Alec snorted, pulling Magnus closer again. He moved in for a kiss but Magnus turned his head to the side, smirking when Alec made a whining sound in the back of his throat.

Alec sighed. “I didn’t have time to shower because Jace needed me to take over another class,” he said, nuzzling against Magnus’ neck.

Magnus turned his face to Alec, gripping the back of his neck and bringing their lips together so fast Alec barely had time to take a breath.

When he pulled back, Alec was thoroughly out of breath – not unusual after being kissed by Magnus.

Magnus grinned, stepping away from Alec who’s hold had loosened during the kiss. Without further ado, Magnus pulled of his necklaces and rings, setting them on the counter before tugging his shirt off. Alec’s eyes were locked on him as he moved to taking off his belt.

“Why didn’t you say that from the beginning?” Magnus asked, voice low and sexy suddenly. “We can shower together.”

***

“Magnus?”

Magnus burrowed further into his pillow at the sound of Alec’s soft voice. They were lying in bed, the afterglow having faded. Magnus had thought Alec was asleep already, while he himself felt wide awake. Their bodies were carefully arranged so as not to touch, there was no cuddling even though a mere forty minutes before Alec had been inside him.

Things had gotten too good and Magnus…Magnus didn’t know what to do with that. So when Alec had curled up close after, Magnus had quickly gotten out of bed to get cleaned up, laying back with the careful distance between them. God what was he doing?

“Hmm?” Magnus finally mumbled, carefully facing away from Alec, eyes closed tightly.

“Don’t you think we should talk?”

Magnus groaned, no, he thought, that was the last thing he wanted to do actually. “Not really,” he mumbled, gripping his pillow tighter. He could feel Alec behind him, barely an inch between their bodies even though the bed was plenty big enough for there to be more. He could smell Alec everywhere, even on his pillow. Alec was right there and yet… And yet there was this yearning, deep in Magnus’ stomach, telling him this wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

He’d let this go too far, there was no way it ended good. Magnus could practically feel his heart breaking again already. It was… too much like everything he wanted. But it wasn’t real. They were taking time outs from the real world, to pretend. And, it was good… but it wasn’t enough.

Magnus swallowed dryly, holding his breath as the bed moved, Alec inching closer.

“It’s just—”

Magnus turned over suddenly, leveling Alec with an icy glare. “It’s just sex, Alec, it doesn’t mean anything,” he said, voice emotionless. “It’s just like before but now there are rules, ready?”

Alec looked torn between shock and confusion as he nodded slowly.

“One,” Magnus said, ignoring his hiccupping heart. “It’s just sex. Either one of us can instigate or say no, of course. But any meeting is just about the physical act. Two. No breakfast. No dinner. No food anymore. Three, you can be with whoever else you want to be. Four, it can end whenever. Five, no feelings involved.”

Alec’s eyes grew narrower with every rule Magnus rambled off. When he was done, he was out of breath and his heart felt like it was being squeezed to death. Magnus swallowed, licking his lips and forcing himself not to look away from Alec.

“Magnus,” Alec said, voice heartbreakingly soft as he reached out for Magnus who ignored the hand, not wanting to touch him right then. “What’s wrong?”

Magnus stared at Alec, unblinking. “Nothing,” he said. “I just think we should have rules now. Also, no more weekends.”

Magnus saw the blow land, hurt flashing through Alec’s eyes. He felt the echoing explosion in his chest because that weekend, at the hotel… god, that was all Magnus wanted.

“I’m okay with that,” Magnus said slowly, telling himself it was the truth even though it was far too late for rules that might save his heart from being shredded again. He met Alec’s wide eyes, swallowing dryly. “Are you?”

Magnus steeled his heart, if Alec said no he’d be fine, he told himself. Just like always.

Slowly, Alec nodded, face expressionless. “Six,” he said. “The moment it gets to be too much, it’s over. Clean break. No more redos.”

Magnus’ heart skipped painfully. He nodded.

Turning back over, Magnus stretched out again, hugging an extra pillow close. He screwed his eyes shut. Alec was still sitting up behind him. Magnus didn’t know if he wanted Alec to stay or leave right then, both options seemed terrifying.

Magnus took a deep breath, calming his nerves and his racing mind, or attempting too anyway. The loft was too quiet, filled with the sound of his racing pulse. Part of Magnus ached. Part of Magnus hated himself. All of Magnus wanted Alec to…to do _something_.

Another long, endless moment passed before the bed dipped again and Alec laid down behind him, carefully wrapping one arm around Magnus. Magnus froze, going stiff, heart doing somersaults in his chest and making it increasingly hard to breathe.

“You didn’t say no spooning,” Alec muttered in his ear, before settling down.

Magnus’ heart beat loud in his ears as he let out a shaky breath, relaxing in Alec’s loose hold.

He was a goner, Magnus knew. He’d just sit back and watch himself implode now, falling more and more in love with Alexander Lightwood while selfishly and stupidly taking the only thing he would give Magnus.

***

“You alright?” Jace asked after stepping between Alec and the punching bag.

Breathing heavily, Alec let his arms fall to his sides. His heart raced and his fists were pleasantly sore, making him question how long he’d been at it.

Was Alec alright? No, no he wasn’t, he thought. He’d thought things were going good, better than good. Perfect. And then… then Magnus started pulling away and Alec couldn’t breathe and didn’t know what the fuck to do.

He knew Magnus wanted more from him but… but things were good. Couldn’t they just be good, without labeling anything? Alec clenched his fist on the urge to punch the punching bag again. He was a selfish prick and he couldn’t even stand himself right then.

Alec nodded, stepping away from the bag and grabbing his water bottle.

Jace watched carefully, dressed in a Lightwood Gym hoodie and sweats, arms folded over his chest.

“I’m fine,” Alec said, taking a sip of water.

“You’ve been going strong,” Jace said, moving to toss him a towel.

Alec shrugged, using the towel to wipe sweat from his face.

Jace finally rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. “I’ve known you since you were twelve Alec, you’re my brother, my best friend, I know when you’re trying to distract yourself from something,” Jace said, glaring. “Now, what’s up? This is my gym, I can’t have you going crazy in the back between classes teaching children self-defense.”

Alec sighed, closing his eyes tightly. His mind was a confusing place these days. He needed to get his act together.

“I’m sorry,” Alec finally said, stepping forward to grab Jace’s arm. “Really, I am,” he said, giving Jace his best puppy eyes, not something he had to pull out often on his siblings.

Jace snorted. “Yeah, whatever.” He knocked Alec’s hand away, moving to clean up the back gym. “What’s up though, seriously?”

Alec sighed, running a hand through his hair, immediately regretting the action as his hair was slick with sweat. “Just…nerves, you know,” he said, playing it off. “Waiting on the bar results and everything.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Dude, you killed it, I’m telling you.”

Alec rolled his eyes, snorting. “That’s what Izzy keeps saying.”

Truthfully, he’d barely thought about the bar results recently. There were much more pressing issues. Like a beautiful man he still knew next to nothing about…

Alec’s heart pounded painfully. Magnus was pulling back. And Alec didn’t know how to stop it, if he should. Jace disappeared back into the front and Alec turned back to the punching bag, like hitting it again and again would somehow force his mind to clear. Would give him answers and make everything that had gotten so foggy and confusing, clear again.

***

Magnus flipped listlessly through tv stations but nothing grabbed his attention. Throwing the remote away, he stretched out on the couch with a sigh. The weekend was almost over and he’d passed it lazily working on his new project, trying to draft a proposal. It was hard to concentrate when his mind kept turning to Alec, when he kept trying to puzzle out what the hell he was doing.

Magnus groaned, pulling the purple throw blanket that hung over the back of the couch, over his head. He was tired of being in his own head. Sick of his thoughts. He spent far too much time thinking of Alec and what they were doing and he just wanted to stop.

The worst part was, even then, he was still thinking of Alec.

Was it so wrong to be lonely and want company?

Magnus’ chest ached. He couldn’t go to Alec, he had to stop. Because…because — he wanted more. God, he wanted more so bad it hurt. He’d gotten over this, the wanting someone to spend the rest of his life with. He’d been content, before. With his company, and his friends, and the one night stands and casual dating here and there. He’d been happy, hooking up with Alec. But now…things had gotten too complicated.

It was hard to breathe. He wanted more than a cat to come home to and a man he’d fallen hopelessly in love with for three nights a week.

Magnus stood suddenly, he was not going to lie around all night, moping and being sad. That was not what Magnus Bane did. Moving to his bookshelves, Magnus perused his options but nothing was appealing.

He could call Catarina, but she was probably working. Raphael would give him a hard time all night and Ragnor would just bring the mood down even lower.

Clary was probably with Jace which once again brought Magnus’ mind to Alec. Of course.

He could go over there. Knock on the door. Alec would open it, looking perfectly disheveled and he’d pass the night happily…

Magnus shook his head. Nope. He wouldn’t do it. Not tonight.

Break the cycle, he told himself firmly, moving to the kitchen. He would cook himself dinner and he would put on a movie and curl up with Chairman Meow and maybe later he’d work on the cover story he was supposed to write. It was a good plan, smart. Only he had no food.

Ordering in it was.

While he waited for food to arrive, Magnus showered. He put on his fluffiest pajamas and picked out one of his favorite movies — Dirty Dancing — and added more pillows to the couch, creating a nice nest for the night.

Chairman Meow appeared in the window just as food was delivered. Magnus flirted shamelessly with the delivery boy but didn’t even bother watching his ass as he walked away.

“Ready for movie night?” Magnus asked, turning to where Chairman was already waiting on the couch. Magnus didn’t bother with plates, planning to eat straight from the cartons. Placing the food on the coffee table, he returned to the kitchen for a glass of wine when a knock came on the door once more.

Magnus frowned, turning to Chairman to ask who that could possibly be only to see him disappear out the window once more.

Great, Magnus thought, I’m not even interesting enough to keep the cat’s attention anymore.

Sighing, Magnus went to open the door. “If you’ve come back for a tip, I think my charm more than counts,” he said, expecting the delivery boy who was known for forgetting Magnus’ fortune cookies, which he always ordered extra of.

“Obviously,” Alec said. “Who wouldn’t accept your charm as tip?”

Magnus froze, dragging his eyes slowly up to Alec’s. Just like that, Magnus’ resolve crumbled. The food was forgotten along with his plans for a casual Sunday night watching movies.

“Only the dead,” Magnus mumbled.

Alec’s mouth quirked up in a half smile. He tucked his hands into his jeans, watching Magnus closely.

Magnus swallowed, debating with himself for a minute. He could send Alec away or…he could invite him in. Without another word, Magnus held his hand out. Alec didn’t hesitate in taking it, letting Magnus pull him inside and lead him towards the bed.

Stopping next to the bed, Alec toed his shoes off as Magnus made quick work unbuttoning Alec’s black shirt and slipping it off his shoulders. Magnus moved to his own shirt as Alec took his pants off.

Finally, Magnus couldn’t take it anymore, moving one hand behind Alec’s head and pulling him down into a messy, bruising kiss. With a low groan, Alec gripped Magnus’ hips, backing him up the last foot until they literally fell on the bed.

Magnus’ mind emptied out until all that was left was Alec. Alec climbing on top of him. Alec kissing him. Alec pulling the rest of his clothes off, kissing down his chest, and stomach. Rubbing his hardening length before taking it into his mouth.

Magnus had never been so happy to escape from his own mind.

***

“Hey, Iz?” Alec asked, trying to sound casual as they waited for Jace to finish up in the office before they all went out to dinner.

Isabelle sat on the counter in the front of the gym, idly scrolling through her phone. “Hmm?” she asked, half distracted. She’d started an internship at the local morgue, a job which Clary’s dad had helped get her, but looking at her no one would ever guess she’d spent the last four hours examining a dead body.

Alec stared at the counter, drumming his fingers nervously. “What do you know about Magnus?” he finally asked. Because well, she was Isabelle. There wasn’t much she didn’t know. And it was still painfully obvious that Alec knew next to nothing about a man he’d been sleeping with off and on for months.

Why didn’t he know more? Magnus had met his siblings, Magnus knew he wanted to be a lawyer and was estranged from his parents. Because…because Magnus asked questions. Questions Alec never bothered to ask himself.

Swallowing a wave of guilt, Alec looked over at Isabelle who’d slipped her phone away, turning to Alec with a frown.

“Alec,” Isabelle said in that pitying way she had, reaching out to rest a hand on Alec’s arm. She considered him for a moment, shaking her head. “How much do you know?”

Alec sighed. He couldn’t even be mad at the pitying look. He shrugged. “Not enough.”

“Do you miss him?” she asked.

Alec didn’t have to look to see the hope in his sister’s eyes. Sometimes he was convinced Isabelle wanted him to find a boyfriend more than she wanted one for herself.

He didn’t need to think about the question. What was to miss? They were sleeping together again. Every other night or so. Not that he would tell Isabelle that. So…no. Of course, not. Right?

“Just answer the question,” he said, turning eyes that were far more pleading than he intended, on Isabelle. “Please?”

Isabelle’s wide eyes narrowed but she nodded. Turning all bussiness, she sat up straighter. “Not much, to be honest,” she said. “I was trying to stay out of your bussiness—”

Alec scoffed, because really?

Isabelle grinned. “Shut up and listen.”

Alec turned his back to the counter, closing his mouth.

“I know he’s rich and fancy, he has great taste and he’s beautiful,” Isabelle started, listening off things on her fingers. Alec just nodded because yeah, he knew all that. “He works in a big fancy building downtown, where he’s Simon and Clary’s boss.”

How did he not even know Magnus’ last name? It was getting harder to breathe, Alec’s hands clenched tight into fists at his sides.

“I know Clary said that you were good for him, after his last relationship. That you made him smile, all the time. That he seemed happy.”

Alec’s heartbeat filled his head, blocking out anything else Izzy may have said. His throat was tight and he felt sick, felt like shit. He was such a jack ass…

***

“Knock, knock.”

Magnus looked up at the chipper voice that clearly didn’t belong to one of his employees as Raphael was in a bad mood and making the whole floor suffer.

“Isabelle,” he said, surprised to see the dark-haired girl leaning in his doorway. “Come in, what are you doing here?”

Isabelle smiled, shrugging as she flung her bag down on Magnus’ couch. “I was in the neighborhood and it occurred to me I haven’t been meddling enough recently,” she said, flashing him a grin.

Magnus laughed, rolling his eyes to disguise the aching feeling in his chest that hadn’t gone away in weeks, that only stopped when he was with Alec. He was a fucking mess and he had no idea how to get his life back together when he just continued to fuck it up every time he went back to Alec.

Alec didn’t want him the way Magnus wanted Alec. He knew this, this is what started the ache in his stomach. But…but he’d gotten so used to Alec and some of Alec was better than none, wasn’t it? But then why did he feel so crappy? He didn’t want to be this person, he didn’t want his happiness tied so fully to Alec but —

“You okay?”

Magnus shook his head, looking up to find Isabelle watching him closely. Clearing his throat, he closed his laptop and stood abruptly. “Perfect,” he said, stretching.

Isabelle watched him closely as he moved to the side table where a pitcher of water waited. He poured himself and Isabelle a glass, moving light and graceful as ever on his feet. “What brought you to the neighborhood?” Magnus asked, handing her a glass.

Isabelle shrugged. “I’m interning at the police station, in the morgue. Everyone there’s stuffy, boring, and or dead.”

“So you come in search of entertainment?” Magnus asked, smirking.

“Exactly,” Isabelle agreed. Turning to the front of the office, she nodded at Simon’s empty desk. “Did you finally fire him?”

Magnus snorted. “I wish. I loaned him to Raphael for the day, he may not make it.”

Isabelle laughed, moving closer to the wall to read the framed articles Magnus had hung there. Some of his finest work, including the story that skyrocketed him to where he is today.

“You’re a reporter?” Isabelle asked.

Magnus chuckled. “Was, for a brief period of time. I’ve had many jobs over the years, working my way to here.”

Isabelle nodded, dragging her sharp gaze around the room. “The big office,” she said.

Magnus nodded. “The biggest.”

Isabelle continued down the wall, gaze roaming the few personal pictures before turning back to his desk and poking at his name plate. “So, you run all this,” Isabelle said, waving her hand around. “Does Alec know, Mr…Bane?”

Magnus’ heart stuttered in his chest. He shrugged, forcing a blank expression on his face. “Our relationship never had much room for talking.”

Isabelle nodded, grumbling under her breath. “So I’ve heard.”

Finally, Isabelle stopped moving around the room. Facing away from Magnus, he heard her take a deep breath before whirling to face him, an intense look on her sharp face. “You know my brother is an idiot, right?” Izzy demanded, setting down her glass of water and folding her arms across her chest.

Magnus sighed. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to hear Isabelle tell him…whatever. He didn’t want to discuss what he and Alec had or hadn’t been.

“I’m serious, Magnus,” Isabelle said, taking a hesitant step forward. That gave Magnus pause. Isabelle didn’t seem the kind to hesitate over anything.

Magnus shook his head, breathing out roughly. “He doesn’t want a relationship with—”

“Alec doesn’t know what he wants,” Isabelle interrupted. “Just…don’t give up on him, okay? I’ve never seen him as happy as he was when you guys were…whatever you were.”

The ache in Magnus’ stomach just got worse, twisting his heart in a painful grip. The problem was, he wanted to believe Isabelle, too badly.

“Shall we get lunch?” he offered.

***

Alec didn’t know what they were doing but he did know it couldn’t last forever, couldn’t last long. So when Magnus knocked on the door that night, the normal jovial pattern, Alec didn’t hesitate in opening it.

Something felt different that night, less charged. Something was off, making something in Alec’s chest twist painfully. He let Magnus take the reins as he stepped inside. They didn’t talk, they never talked much anymore. The air was too thick or too thin, it was hard to breathe.

Magnus looked at Alec with narrowed eyes, and Alec’s heart beat, beat, beat against his rib cage, not entirely pleasant. Magnus grabbed Alec’s arms lightly, walking him backwards until they were in the living room. Alec sat on the couch and Magnus straddled his lap.

The whole world was silent save their racing breath. Alec was sure Magnus could feel and hear his heart, chugging along.

Magnus just sat there for a minute, they were barely touching, just Magnus’ hands on Alec’s upper arms, Magnus sitting on Alec. Their eyes locked and Alec couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing something, staring into Magnus’ bright eyes.

Magnus leaned in slowly, tilting Alec’s face up with one hand before kissing him. Alec’s eyes closed automatically, mouth opening to Magnus’ probing tongue as a shiver went down his back.

Everything was more intense suddenly, as Magnus pressed closer, keeping the kiss soft and slow. Heart racing, Alec lost himself in the sensation of kissing Magnus. It was far too easy to do, lose himself to Magnus. He didn’t even care, not anymore. He’d lose his whole self to Magnus, give it to him, without a second thought.

Magnus pulled back, lifting Alec’s shirt up, signaling for him to take off. Magnus quickly pulled his own, low cut, shimmering red shirt off, tossing it somewhere behind him.

Standing, Magnus took his pants off. Alec followed suit, expecting Magnus to move back to the bedroom. Instead, Magnus stretched out on the couch, grabbing Alec’s hand and tugging him down on top of him.

***

This time felt too much like a last time. There was no talking, no rushing. Slow and careful, full of drawn out kisses and low moans. Open eyes and slow thrusts.

When it was over, Alec stood, holding his hand out to move to the bedroom and suddenly Magnus just…couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine going back to Alec’s bedroom and falling into post coital haze. He couldn’t imagine falling asleep for a few hours just to leave in the early hours of the morning to do the walk of shame back to his house because he couldn’t stand to wake up with Alec next to him anymore.

Magnus’ chest felt like it’d caved in as he watched Alec slip his boxers back on, moving to the kitchen for a drink.

“Want anything?” Alec asked, voice soft yet louder than an explosion, breaking the quiet of the moment.

Magnus shook his head, unable to talk. Getting to his feet, he started dressing quickly. His hands shook and all he knew was that he needed to go, leave, now.

“Magnus?” Alec asked, coming back from the kitchen, face furrowed in confusion.

“I—” Magnus started, slipping his shoes back on. He focused on buttoning his pants, avoiding looking at Alec. “I have to go,” he finally said.

“What?” Alec asked and his voice…low and confused and…hurt? killed Magnus. “Why?”

“I—just have to,” Magnus said, already turning to the door. What was he doing? Why did he keep doing this? All it did was hurt. Sure, it felt good for a while, not counting the sex, just being with Alec but then…then it always ended.

“Magnus,” Alec said again, trialing him across the apartment. “Wait, let’s talk.”

Magnus shook his head. His heart raced painfully and his hands were shaking on the door knob as he yanked the door open. He turned back, halfway out the door. Forcing his gaze to meet Alec’s, ignoring the hurt and confusion lingering there. “Please,” he said, not even knowing what he was asking. “I just…I have to leave.”

Alec swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing. He nodded slowly and Magnus slipped out the door, rushing across the hall and dow stairs, letting the night air cool his overheating skin.

Fuck, Magnus thought, breathing heavily. He hailed the first cab to pass, blurting his address before leaning back and squeezing his eyes shut.

 _Fuck._ What was he doing?

***

“Izzy,” Alec said, not noticing the way his voice broke over the phone. He stood at his window, staring down at the street like he could stop Magnus from getting in a cab and driving away even though he was long gone.

“Alec?” Isabelle’s voice came over the phone, instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I fucked up.”

***

Magnus was halfway out of the cab outside the loft when he changed his mind. Settling back in, he gave the driver an address that was only a few blocks away. His mind was blissfully blank as he watched the world pass by outside the window.

He tipped the driver far too much, slipping from the cab and walking listlessly to the elevator and down a long hallway.

Knocking when he finally reached his destination, Magnus leaned against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Bane,” a deep voice said. “You look like shit.”

Magnus remained silent, barely cracking his eyes open. Raphael looked him up and down slowly. “You can stay in the spare room, or sleep on the floor, it’s up to you.”

Magnus just nodded, not up to bantering with Raphael.

He could feel Raphael’s sharp gaze as he slipped past him into the apartment.

“Shower, you smell like sex,” Raphael said, moving to the hall closet and throwing Magnus a towel. “I’ll get you clothes. Have you eaten?”

Magnus shook his head. He was too numb currently to feel anything, not even bothered by the clear pity on Raphael’s face.

“Shower,” he repeated. “I’ll put clothes in the spare room and make you something to eat.”

Magnus nodded, moving down the dark hall to the bathroom, Raphael’s apartment as familiar to him as his own. He didn’t say thank you because it wasn’t needed, not with Raphael.

After a long, hot shower, Magnus started feeling a little better. Staring at himself in the fogging mirror, he frowned. What was he doing? Why did he always do this? He let other people dictate his life, handing his heart away left and right, just to watch it be stomped to death. Before, he’d always been able to stop. But with Alec…he couldn’t help hoping. But he had to stop lying to himself, because he wasn’t happy with just sex, not anymore. It’d never been that. Maybe the first few nights, but…it always felt different, felt like more. There was laughter and jokes, breakfast and dinner in the middle of the night. Watching crappy tv and…and taking care of each other.

Magnus swallowed a lump in his throat. The fact of the matter was, Alec was…not perfect, but he was a great person who made Magnus feel more than anyone had ever made him feel before. But…but he didn’t want that. They just…wanted different things. It was Magnus’ fault for thinking it could be more than it was supposed to and now…they just had to let it go.

Magnus dressed in a loose pair of sweats and a tshirt that was too big for him before entering the kitchen where Raphael was making him an omelet.

Magnus sat at the bar, sipping a glass of orange juice Raphael wordlessly handed him.

“What happened?” Raphael asked only once the omelet was done, setting it and a plate with toast in front of Magnus.

Magnus shrugged, picking up the fork Raphael handed him and poking at his food. He wasn’t hungry.

“Eat,” Raphael ordered.

Magnus took a bite.

“Do you love him?”

The food was tasteless in his mouth though Magnus knew from experience that Raphael was a fabulous cook. He swallowed the bite with a drink of juice before shrugging again.

“Answer,” Raphael ordered, sighing as he rested his elbows on the counter.

“Yes,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes.

Raphael nodded like he’d expected nothing else. “He doesn’t deserve you Magnus,” he said, pulling the omelet away from Magnus and eating it himself. “There’s ice cream in the fridge, I’ll put Dirty Dancing in.”

Magnus forced a smile but he knew Raphael saw right through it.

The worst part was, even as Magnus told himself he couldn’t do it again, he had to quit Alec… He didn’t believe he actually would. Alec was like an addiction that Magnus just couldn’t quit, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t even want too, not really. Because all the pain was worth it when Alec smiled at him or kissed him like the world could be ending around them and he wouldn’t even notice, too wrapped up in Magnus.

***

“I don’t know what happened, I don’t…. I don’t know anything anymore.” Alec’s heart beat too fast and he couldn’t stop pacing back and forth. He’d cleaned up, showered and changed in the time it took Izzy to get there but nothing had calmed him. His mind spun and there was this…this panic, in the pit of his stomach, getting worse and worse.

What had happened? Did he do something? Why had it hurt so much for Magnus to leave right after…right after what? Having sex? Something they’d done dozens upon dozens of times. It was nothing. It was supposed to be nothing.

Alec groaned, flopping down on the couch and burying his head in his hands. “What am I doing?” he asked Isabelle, not expecting an answer.

“I have no idea,” Isabelle said shortly. “Because apparently you never talk to me anymore.”

Alec sighed, stretching out on the couch before jumping up. He couldn’t lay there where…it’d happened.

He started pacing again, running a hand through his hair, he pulled lightly, using the pain to concentrate. “I don’t want to tell you,” he finally mumbled, turning back to his sister.

Isabelle sat on the coffee table in her pajamas with pink slippers. She stared at him, head tilted to the side.

“You’ll tell me I’m idiot and jackass, which I am but it will feel worse coming from you,” Alec explained.

“Just tell me,” Isabelle said, sliding off the table and heading to the kitchen. “We’re going to need coffee, yes?”

Alec nodded, following her slowly. “Magnus…Magnus wanted more,” he confessed.

“More?” Isabelle repeated, frowning as she reached for the coffee. Alec reached over her, grabbing it from the top shelf.

“He wanted a relationship,” Alec said, heart throbbing.

“Riiight,” Isabelle said, nodding. “And you don’t. So you stopped seeing each other.”

“He wanted more with me, Izzy,” Alec said, throwing his hands up. “He wanted to date and…and I don’t know. And I said no, because I can’t do that. And then he…he looked so crushed and… And then I was stupid, so stupid.”

Alec groaned, rubbing his face and turning away from Izzy, who’d paused with two coffee cups in her hands, staring at Alec like he was crazy.

“Alec,” Isabelle said slowly. Alec heard the coffee pot start as Isabelle set down the cups, approaching Alec carefully. Alec kept his eyes screwed shut as Isabelle lightly touched his shoulder. “Slow down,” she said. “What did you do?”

Alec shook his head. “I told him I didn’t want that, and he left and then…then I went back.”

“You…”

Alec opened his eyes when Isabelle hesitated, turning to her slowly. She was frowning, eyebrows raised questioningly. “I went back after a bad day, thinking things could go back to normal. And he thought…he thought I’d changed my mind and then—”

Isabelle shook her head slowly. “Alec…” she said, voice soft, pity clear on her face. “But this was like two months ago, wasn’t it?” she continued, emotions warring on her face. “What happened tonight?”

Alec groaned, shaking his head. “We hooked up, again. When we went out to celebrate my taking the bar? And then again and again. And…I don’t know, it’s not the same anymore. And tonight, he showed up and we…you know,” Alec said, staring down at his hands. “And then he just…left.”

The only sound in the apartment was the coffee finishing brewing. Isabelle moved to the coffeepot, pouring them each a cup silently.

“Well?” Alec demanded. He needed Isabelle to say something, anything, even if she yelled at him. Anything would be better than the silence.

“Did you know he created his own company, Alec? Bane Co. As in Magnus Bane. He built it from the ground up,” Isabelle said, turning to Alec and pressing a steaming cup into his hands.

“Wait, what?” Alec asked, looking up.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Have you ever heard of google, Alec?”

“I…I didn’t even know his last name,” Alec admitted, feeling like shit. He set his coffee on the counter, stomach churning. When did he become such an asshole?

“He’s a great person, Alec,” she said, shaking her head once again in that way that made Alec’s stomach sink, that way that said she was disappointed in him.

“I know, Izzy, believe me, I know.”

“Then what’s the problem Alec?” she asked, voice turning angry suddenly. She slammed her own cup onto the counter, glaring at him. “You’ve never been so happy in your life than you were those months you were “just fucking” him,” she said, adding air quotes to the words. “He makes you happy, you idiot. So, what’s the problem?”

Alec shook his head, pacing around the kitchen, unable to stay still. “I don’t know…I just –I don’t do relationships Izzy. I didn’t even know his last name. I’m not…I’m not good enough for him.”

“Bullshit,” Isabelle called. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You may be acting like the world’s biggest dick right now, but you and I both know you’re a good person and that’s not your decision. All you get to decide is if you want to be with him. He gets to decide if you’re good enough for him. God knows he’s too good for you.”

Alec moved around the kitchen, flopping down at his tiny dining room table.

Isabelle followed after a moment, sitting across from him and taking his hand. “What do you want, Alec?” she asked, the anger gone, replaced by concern.

Alec shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want Magnus and I mean really want him, not just every other night of the week?”

Alec closed his eyes, focusing on breathing as his heart ricocheted through his chest. “I—I don’t know,” he said, voice barely a whisper.

“Alec,” Isabelle said, voice firm but understanding. “You have to stop doing this, to both of you. Until you figure out what it is you want. I think I know, I think _you_ know, what that is,” she said, hesitating slightly. Alec’s heart raced out of control. Did he know what he wanted?

“Just…figure it out before it’s too late. Make it up to him or leave him alone. He deserves that.”

***

Magnus spent the weekend with Raphael who showed his true self in not constantly berating Magnus and never once saying “I told you so”. Magnus gave himself the weekend to lie around, watching his favorite movies and arguing with Raphael over everything. When he went back to his own apartment Sunday night he felt refreshed, ready to take on the next part of his life. Ready for a change.

The first change came in the form of his apartments decor. The second Magnus walked back in he was…over it. Midnight shopping lead to ordering all new furniture and hours spent going over paint options, before falling asleep on the couch with Chairman Meow curled at his feet.

In the morning, he chose clothes he’d never worn that had just been hanging in the closet, tags still on. He went a little dramatic on his makeup, adding more glitter than he normally would for work.

Sometime over the weekend, between eating too much (Raphael was secretly an amazing cook) and crying over Titanic for the millionth time, Magnus had realized he didn’t like who he’d become and it was time to change. Yes, he was in love with Alec. Yes, he wished he could go back to before, when things were good and light and easy. But…he couldn’t. And part of him didn’t want too, not really. He wanted Alec, _to be with_ Alec . But…but he didn’t want to lay around, waiting and pining. He was better than that. He didn’t want to settle for less than everything.

Magnus nodded to himself in the mirror, slipped his shoes on and kissed Chairman Meow on his way out the door. It was time to come back to life. Alec didn’t want a relationship, and that was fine. Magnus Bane was a whole lot more than his romantic entanglements.

***

The next week passed slowly, Alec tried to think, to figure out what he wanted but…he was hopeless.

He got together with Lydia for lunch in the middle of the week, which proved a good distraction. Every free moment he spent with his siblings or at Jace’s gym, anything to stay busy. He couldn’t even stay in and read without his mind wondering and then it just went in endless circles.

Magnus. What to do about Magnus. How he missed Magnus. What did he want with Magnus? Could he really do a relationship? Alec wasn’t confident. Even if he did want that… He’d make a horrible boyfriend. Once he heard back about the bar he’d be busy all the time trying to make it as a lawyer. He didn’t even know how to be a boyfriend and he didn’t want that. The drama. The work. He wanted simple, easy…

He also wanted Magnus. Desperately. And not just for sex. He wanted to go see Magnus, just talk, find out everything he’d been too stupid to ask before. Just…lay in bed and watch mindless television. But he couldn’t ask for that. He couldn’t even ask for no strings attached sex. One, because everything was just a mess of tangled strings by then. And 2. Even if the thought didn’t send his stomach churning because of the way they’d left things last time, Isabelle would kill him.

She’d ordered him to call her every time he got the urge to go see Magnus — so she could yell at him about how selfish and stupid he was being.

The week was filled with sleepless nights and long, drawn out days. At the end of it, Alec was no closer to figuring things out then he’d been the week before.

***

Magnus had been busy, working on the final designs for his new project, preparing to pitch the idea soon. He’d also found time to paint the loft, two walls were a light gray, the third dark maroon. All his furniture had been replaced, his bed spread was now a deep emerald green to oppose the purple rugs. Between all that, he’d also redesigned Bane Co’s logo, to Raphael’s chagrin.

Sunday night he was pleasantly exhausted and feeling better than he had in months, sitting out on the balcony with Chairman Meow next to him.

Magnus was sketching when the knock came. His heart stopped for a minute before it started racing. Magnus swallowed dryly, stilling the pencil on the paper. He knew who it was, of course he did. It was obvious.

Magnus breathed in deeply, forcing himself to think.

He could just stay there, on the balcony with nothing but Chairman and the stars for company. He could ignore the door. Or…or he could answer and see Alec like he only just realized he’d been dying too all week. It didn’t matter how, sleeping together or just…just sitting next to each other, not even needing to talk.

Magnus took a deep, calming breath. His mind wandered further, imagining opening the door, pushing Alec against the wall, ravishing him with his mouth. Having Alec in his bed again. His chest ached like it’d been years, not a week.

What he really wanted was to just answer the door, lay around on the couch eating take out and arguing over what movie to watch. With Alec. But he couldn’t have that. He could have Alec though…for one more night.

God, what was he doing to himself? Magnus asked, standing and moving back inside. Magnus had never been in the business of denying himself what he wanted, even if he knew it would end in disaster, even if it was bad for his mental health. And once again, there was nothing he wanted more than Alec.

***

Alec was turning away, pulse beating too slowly in his wrists, the only sound in his head his own breathing, when the door finally opened.

Alec turned around, the words on the tip of his tongue. He hadn’t come just to hook up again he’d come…he’d come because he wanted to see Magnus. Because he _missed_ Magnus, so much. And maybe if he saw him, they could talk, and Alec could figure out how to fix this whole big mess he’d made.

Mostly, he just wanted to see him. Be near him.

Magnus stood in the doorway, dressed in loose pants and — no shirt. Alec’s eyes caught on Magnus’ bare torso that was very, very distracting.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, voice low and welcoming.

Alec dragged his gaze up to Magnus’ face, breath catching at the way Magnus was looking at him, eyes wide open and filled with—

“Are you coming in or did you want to do it the hall?” Magnus teased, smirking even as the wall went up in his eyes, hiding whatever emotion had been in them.

Alec cleared his throat, stepping inside slowly. His mind spun as Magnus closed the door and turned, heading for his drink cart. Alec watched the muscles in his back as he walked, swallowing dryly. What was he doing here? Isabelle was going to kill him.

“Drink?” Magnus asked.

“No—” Alec started, suddenly realizing that…everything had changed. “Did you redecorate?” he asked. Even the dining table had been replaced. There was a new couch and chairs, new coffee table. New rugs. The walls had been repainted. The bed was the same but everything else, even the pillows, were different.

Alec looked around slowly, taking it all in. It was jarring, being somewhere that had been as familiar to him as his own apartment yet suddenly…everything was different, like it was a whole new place.

Alec turned back to Magnus, watching him pour a drink. He still fit perfectly here, like the room was an expansion of his being, everything together screaming ‘Magnus’. He moved easily, gracefully turning to Alec with a teasing smirk on his face. He sipped his drink before setting it down again.

“Do you like it?” Magnus asked, approaching slowly.

Alec swallowed, hands automatically moving to Magnus’ hips as he stepped close, looking up at Alec through long lashes. He nodded, having already forgotten the question.

Magnus slid one hand up, pulling Alec down towards his lips, his other hand pulling at Alec’s pants.

“Wait—” Alec said, just as their lips met, pulling back slightly but not too much. Alec screwed his eyes shut, trying to think. “Magnus, I — I don’t want—” Alec forced out, stuttering, not sure what he was trying to say. “I think, I want things to be—”

“Shh,” Magnus said, holding a finger to Alec’s lips.

Alec’s eyes flicked open. Magnus stared up at him, face emotionless. He brought his mouth to Alec’s ear, pressing a kiss to his jaw on the way.

“Not right now,” he purred but beneath that, there was a pleading edge to his voice, like if Alec tried to talk about this, about anything right then, Magnus would fall apart.

Magnus pulled back slightly and, just for a second, Alec saw the sentiment echoed on his face, a heart-breaking vulnerability. Then it passed, and Magnus leveled Alec with his sexiest smile, the one that never failed to turn Alec to putty.

Magnus cleared his throat. “Do you want to fuck?” he asked, voice clear and stern.

Alec swallowed. He had no idea what he wanted. He wanted this to be different. Wanted this…this — wanted…Magnus. And with everything that had happened, he realized, this was the only way he could have him right now.

Licking his lips, Alec nodded.

***

This was it, Magnus knew, it had to be. The last time. It didn’t matter what else happened, what was going on, nothing changed the way Alec’s touch made him come apart, one little bit at a time.

Magnus shut his mind off, putting all his feelings for Alec into every kiss, every touch. He showed Alec how his feelings had bloomed slowly and all at once, so that Magnus never saw it coming, with every twitch of his hips, pressing back against him. He confessed to falling for him without meaning too, without noticing, a complete accident, with every moan slowly dragged from Alec’s throat. Every kiss along his neck, every bruise sucked into his skin, was an apology, not for falling in love with him, but for it being doomed from the start, for making this something it never should’ve been.

But in the end, Magnus didn’t regret any moment of it. Not the heart break. Not the months they shouldn’t have had, when it should’ve stayed an unforgettable one night stand and nothing more. He didn’t regret the laughter, the late nights, the moments that slowly pulled him in, allowing him to lose himself to this beautiful, kind man. He definitely didn’t regret the orgasms. Magnus showed that all to Alec, dragging every moment out slowly.

Magnus put everything into this, not fucking, making love. Whether Alec felt the same or not. And he tried not to read too much into the way Alec slowly pressed his mouth to all the right places, torturing Magnus with that spot on his side where he knew Magnus was ticklish. Tried not to read into the way their eyes locked when Alec first pushed in and never looked away.

***

Alec was…so stupid. He’d never stood a chance. Since the moment he met Magnus, he was goner. The one person Alec couldn’t quit and he didn’t know if he would want to anyway. Magnus was…amazing. More than amazing. He was smart and funny, and strange and beautiful and Alec—

“ _Alec_ ,” Magnus moaned, drawing Alec’s name out and sending a shiver down his back. Making his mind short circuit.

***

“Magnus?” Alec said after.

Magnus’ heart was just slowing down but his voice made it skip around again, more painful than before. Magnus knew Alec wanted to talk, he could see it in his eyes and he just…couldn’t. Magnus had only just realized what he wanted, had only just started getting his life back in order and distancing it from Alec. This…having sex, he could file that away, forget it ever happened. He couldn’t…he couldn’t talk to Alec so seriously. Not right now.

Sliding out of bed, Magnus turned and offered his hand to Alec.

“Where are you going?” Alec asked taking his hand without hesitating.

“To shower, thought you might want to join me?” he said, giving Alec his best sexy smirk before walking off.

After a moment, Alec followed, closing the bathroom door behind them.

***

Somewhere nearby, something fell with a great crash, followed by a string of curses and ending with a shouted, “Get back here, Chairman!”

Alec stifled a laugh in the pillow under him, turning onto his stomach and relaxing in the warm bed. He was in that perfect space, where you aren’t yet quite awake, where you could slip back to sleep easily enough to catch the dream that was just out of your reach. The kind of morning that started off the best days.

Alec closed his eyes, drifting back off until he realized. His eyes shot open but he didn’t move from bed. Magnus’ bed. He’d spent the night. It was now morning and that was Magnus moving about the room.

Alec’s heart raced. He wasn’t supposed to stay until morning, that wasn’t how it worked anymore.

Swallowing dryly, Alec sat up in bed, pushing the blankets back. Magnus was in the kitchen by then, filling a travel mug with coffee. Alec watched him for a minute, he was already dressed for the day in dark pants, a pale purple button up and a darker purple vest. Hair spiked up and covered in glitter.

Alec smiled before swallowing a sudden lump in his throat, watching Magnus mumble to himself, moving around the kitchen and kicking over another box. Something in Alec ached, knowing this was something he didn’t deserve to see.

Alec cleared his throat and Magnus jumped, startled, nearly dropping his coffee. “Fuck,” Magnus cursed.

Alec stood then, moving to the kitchen and handing Magnus a paper towel for the coffee he’d spilled.

Magnus was very obviously avoiding looking at him, Alec realized quickly. It didn’t make him feel good.

“I’m late,” Magnus said, wiping up his mess and tossing the trash to the side before finally putting a lid on his coffee.

Magnus moved around Alec like he wasn’t even there.

“Right,” Alec said, ignoring his pounding pulse and moving back towards the bed, where his clothes were strewn about — he’d slept in nothing but his boxers.

As he pulled his pants up, Alec berated himself, this was why he didn’t stay overnight, to avoid the awkward morning. He just…hadn’t thought it’d be so awkward. Didn’t want it to be, he realized.

There was this thought, circling his mind, not quite taking form yet. This big, revolutionary thought that wasn’t that big because — because Alec had known it all along, hadn’t he?

Alec watched Magnus grab his jacket and bag quickly — he still hadn’t looked at Alec.

“There’s a spare key under the rug, lock up when you leave,” Magnus said, opening the door and disappearing out of it before Alec could reply.

Alec’s heart sank, his stomach churning uncomfortably. Magnus couldn’t get away fast enough…

Alec shook his head, scoffing to himself. Of course Magnus couldn’t get away fast enough. Alec did nothing but play with his emotions, again and again. Using him. Even if Magnus said it was okay, even if Magnus wanted it too….it didn’t excuse it. Alec had fucked everything up, so much. There…there was no possible way to fix it now…was there?

Something brushed up against Alec’s leg and he looked down to find…a cat.

“You must be Chairman Meow,” Alec said, crouching down and holding a hand out towards the cat who watched him wearily for a moment before lowering his head to be pet. “You probably hate me, don’t you? I’m afraid I haven’t been the best to your owner, he deserves much better than me,” he said, swallowing difficultly.

Chairman started purring, looking up at Alec, completely unimpressed.

“Do I even stand a chance?”

***

The world outside was slowly turning to fall as Magnus escaped his apartment. It wasn’t that he regretted the night before, Magnus couldn’t have regrets, if he did they would be too high in number and he refused to regret anything that had to do with Alec. It was just…Alec staying over all night… Magnus waking up, curled against him. That just…hurt too much.

Magnus hadn’t let himself linger in bed once he was awake, escaping as quick as possible. _Of course_ Alec had woken before he left, Magnus had planned on just leaving a note but nooo, he had to see Alec with bedhead, nothing on but his boxers and looking so damned adorable. How Alec at over six feet with angel-like features and muscles that appeared to be carved from stone managed to look so adorable, Magnus would never know.

Walking to work, stopping for a bagel and letting his mind wander, Magnus found that he was still…happy. Really happy. Sure, things weren’t where he wanted them to be with Alec and he had to stop sleeping with him before it stabbed him in the back again but…but work was good, life was good. He was excited for this new project and just…content. Mostly.

When Magnus got into work, he was whistling on his way out of the elevator. And everyone noticed.

“Are you okay?” Clary asked, appearing next to Magnus within seconds even though she didn’t even technically work there.

Magnus startled, nearly dropping his bagel. “What’s with everyone startling me today?” he asked, ignoring her question. He glared at the nosey computer guy who sat in the corner cube, watching them closely. Couldn’t he get even a little bit of privacy in his own building?

“What’s with you?” Simon asked when Magnus passed his desk.

Perking up, Magnus turned to him with a grin. “Didn’t I tell you? I fired you, best day of my life,” he said.

Simon glared, moving his feet off his desk to sit up straight. “You know, your threats don’t scare me anymore,” he said.

“Really?” Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow. “In that case, instead of firing you, I’m just cutting your salary.”

Magnus hid a smirk as Simon’s eyes went wide. He waved, heading into his office. Clary snorted, patting Simon’s arm before following Magnus.

Magnus opened his blinds, letting the early morning light trickle in before fluffing the pillows on both couches in the room. The place was starting to get a little…dull. Magnus thought, considering redecorating it next.

“You seem especially happy today,” Clary said, interrupting his thoughts and flopping down on the nearest couch.

“You know,” Magnus said, giving up on straightening his office and moving to his desk. “I _feel_ especially happy.”

“Really?” Clary asked, leaning forward and raising an eyebrow.

Magnus sat at his desk and even from feet away he could see the lingering worry in the girl’s eyes. She’d had a front row seat to the mess that was Magnus’ life the last two months so he couldn’t really blame her.

Magnus debated for a moment, holding back a small smile before he nodded. “Really.”

Not everything was perfect, not everything was how he wanted it but…but Magnus couldn’t mope and groan over that any longer. He and Alec were whatever they’d been and nothing more and that wasn’t what Magnus wanted but…but you didn’t always get what you wanted and he was okay with that. Mostly.

***

A few days later, Alec found himself having brunch with his parents, Jace and Izzy. Normally, he would’ve done anything to get out of spending time with his parents but these days any distraction was good. He was beginning to drive himself insane.

Jace and Alec arrived last, leading to Maryse’s favorite lecture about being on time. As always they went to the same expensive place that served tiny portions of oddly named things. Alec wasn’t the least bit hungry as he sat down and waited for Robert and Maryse to start in.

For once, Alec wasn’t first up. They sat through drinks and the first part of their meal with Maryse and Robert grilling Isabelle about school, asking if she was seeing anyone more…serious than her usual crowd. Then it was Jace and had he thought about their offer to hire someone to take over the gym while he goes back to school? Glossing over Jace’s steady relationship they didn’t even bother to ask about Clary or “that little redheaded artist” as Maryse liked to call her.

Then, unfortunately, it was Alec’s turn. He’d tried to eat fast enough for the meal to end before they got to this point, it hadn’t worked.

“So, Alec,” Maryse said, turning her sharp gaze to her oldest son. “Any word on your bar results?”

Alec rolled his eyes. Like they wouldn’t know if results had come out yet. “They said probably not until November,” he repeated, having already told them this multiple times.

Robert nodded thoughtfully. “The wait must be killing you.”

Alec nodded, picking up his wine and swallowing a chug. He studied his parents out of the corner of his eyes, both dressed in dark gray, Maryse’ hair pulled back tight, Robert’s beard perfectly trimmed. In all his life, Alec couldn’t remember ever seeing them look different than this. Realistically, he’d seen them in their pajamas or gym clothes on the weekend but none of those memories stood out. Hell, on Christmas morning they were up early, dressed in their most boring suits. Alec hid a smile, imagining what they would think of Magnus before abruptly turning his mind off.

Maryse narrowed her eyes disapprovingly, like she could see what Alec was thinking. “How’s Lydia?” she asked.

Alec shrugged. “Fine. She’s interning right now. I’m sure she passed the bar,” he added, picking at the remains of his lunch.

Maryse nodded. “Smart girl, that one.”

And one, two, three—

“I always hoped you’d find someone like her to settle down with,” Maryse said, right on cue.

Alec closed his eyes, only just stopping himself from groaning aloud. When he opened them again, Isabelle was giving him a look of sympathy while Jace glared at Maryse.

“Yeah well, that’s not going to happen,” Alec said gruffly, finishing off his wine. Why did he do this to himself? He looked down at himself and scoffed, he’d put on a suit to have lunch with his parents who even still didn’t seem to understand anything about him.

“That’s not what she meant, Alec,” Robert said suddenly, sending Maryse a cold look.

Everyone at the table sat up straighter. Alec looked up quickly, watching Robert take a sip of his beer before continuing. “It’s not about that, Alec. A girl, a family. Ignore that. Don’t you want someone to come home too?” Robert said, meeting Alec’s eyes with an overly intense look suddenly. “Man or woman, it doesn’t matter. Just someone you love, who loves you?”

Alec swallowed, wiping sweating palms on his black slacks. He shrugged off the question, staring down at his plate. Where had that come from? “Even if I did find a man like that…” Alec said, pausing to lick his lips. “I don’t have time for that, you know that.”

The restaurant was too loud, too small, too hot. Alec felt like he was suffocating under his parents looks, his siblings suspiciously silent at the moment.

“We’re very aware that we aren’t the best parents, Alec,” Robert said, considering Alec closely. Alec’s skin crawled, he wanted nothing more than to escape. He signaled for the waiter to refill his cup. “But…we want you to be happy. Don’t you want that?”

Alec snorted, since when did they want that? He picked up his refilled wine glass, drowning half in one go. Alcohol was needed to survive the best of Lightwood gatherings.

“And I — _we,_ don’t care if that’s a man or a woman, but don’t you want someone to share your life with Alec?”

Alec had never heard his father talk like this before, but he seemed…oddly sincere. Alec cleared his throat, opening his mouth to reply but Isabelle interrupted, leaning forward.

“Yeah, Alec, don’t you want that,” Isabelle put in, a small smile on her face as her eyes drilled into Alec’s. “Someone to laugh with, someone to spend your free time with, even if you don’t have a lot of free time once you start being a big fancy lawyer. Someone to share the bad days with.”

Alec glared at his sister, heart pounding painfully in his chest. “What are you talking about?” he asked, ignoring the roaring wave of white noise in his mind.

Isabelle smirked. “Love, Alec, a relationship.”

Heart pounding, feeling oddly betrayed by Isabelle, Alec turned to Jace for support. Jace smiled fondly, eyes off in the distance, not even seeming to see him. “I think you’d like it more than you realize,” he said, unhelpfully.

Pulse racing, heart lodged somewhere in his throat, Alec set down his napkin and stood suddenly. “I have to go,” he said, waving a hand over the table. “I can’t be here right now.”

Outside, in the cool fall air, it was easier to breathe. Alec picked a direction and started walking. His mind spun, filled with too many thoughts, too many different voices.

_Don’t you want someone to come home too? To laugh with? To share the bad days?_

Alec swallowed, walking faster. He’d never let himself have those thoughts before. So much of his life had been spent denying his true self, wishing he wasn’t gay, knowing it wasn’t what his parents wanted. And then, when he realized he shouldn’t give a fuck what they want, that he had to live his life for himself…he was just so wrapped up in school and doing his best to set up the career — the _life,_ he wanted for himself, he hadn’t had time for that. He’d never pictured that for himself.

His life was perfectly outlined in his mind, law school, being a lawyer, working his way up to partner in one of his top choice law firms. Or starting up a small law firm with Lydia. He never pictured the boyfriend, the husband. He never pictured someone he’d come home too. And the terrifying part, was that he could now. But he’d fucked that up.

Leaning over, Alec rested his hands on his knees, thankful that he was in New York and no passing bystander stopped to see if he was okay because he was standing in the middle of the street on some random sidewalk, having a panic attack.

Closing his eyes, Alec forced air in through his aching lungs, pushing back all those terrifying thoughts.

When he stood up again, he forced himself to concentrate on something small, less scary. Like…simply trying. Trying… Alec swallowed, a new feeling starting in his gut and swiftly moving through him. Something that felt an awful lot like hope.

Did he want that? Could he have it? He could try…but—

Alec’s phone buzzed in his pocket, cutting in on his thoughts. Pulling it out, he glanced at the text from Isabelle, a name and address. Alec’s heart pounded still, softer, slower now. He stared at the address for a minute, it wasn’t far away. He could walk there.

Taking a deep breath, Alec made up his mind, turning down the next street, mind already far ahead.

***

“Sherwin I swear to god, I will fire you,” Magnus said as a knock came on his half open office door. He had a sharpie in hand, going over layouts that were…less than to be desired. It’d been a long day already, one thing after another going wrong. He had the start of a headache and a meeting with an investor the next day, he could not deal with Simon’s never ending commentary on office drama right now.

A throat was cleared and then, “Um, it’s not Simon.”

Magnus froze, back going straight before he slowly pulled his gaze up, and up, and up. Alec stood in the doorway, an image that was far more jarring than it should’ve been. Alec in his office. How did Alec even know where he worked? Alec didn’t know what his job was. Hell, Alec didn’t know his last name!

Yet, here he was. Standing in the doorway in a…suit. Black pants and jacket, white shirt, blue tie untied. Magnus took all this in slowly, swallowing dryly.

“Alec,” he finally said, the only thing that could force its way out of Magnus’ throat. Alec here…Alec in Magnus’ office…was too real. Too much like worlds colliding.

Magnus shook his head to clear it. “Nice outfit,” he said, smirking.

A tentative smile curled up the corners of Alec’s mouth as he straightened his jacket. “Well, I am going to be a lawyer, I have to know how to clean up,” he said, smirking sinfully.

Magnus cleared his throat again, looking away from Alec and gesturing to the room at large. “Come in.”

Alec hesitated a moment before stepping in. “Mr. Bane, huh?” Alec asked, approaching the desk and running a long finger over Magnus’ nameplate. Magnus repressed a shiver at Alec’s low voice saying his name. “Definitely not a stripper.”

Magnus rolled his eyes at the idea that Alec ever thought he was a stripper. “I have a wide verity of skills,” he said, hiding a smile. His heart beat, beat, beat, out of control with Alec in the room.

“I know,” Alec said, voice far too soft to be teasing.

Magnus pulled in a deep breath through his nose, calming himself. “Did Isabelle tell you where to find me?” he asked, fidgeting with his marker. If he had made a list of things he thought would never in a million years happen that day, Alec showing up in his office would’ve been at the top of the list.

Alec nodded, slowly looking up to meet Magnus’ eyes. “Yeah,” he admitted, then shook his head. “I’m a jackass,” he said, making Magnus’ heart skip because this sounded too much like the beginning of a conversation he’d been avoiding. Before Magnus could say anything though, Alec was rushing on. “I didn’t even try to find out anything about you and I told myself it was just because we were fuck buddies but I didn’t even know your name. I don’t want to be that guy,” he said, shaking his head.

Magnus stood up suddenly, moving to the side cabinet and pouring himself a glass of water. “You don’t have to apologize, Alec. You were just being what we were supposed to be.” Magnus sipped the water, trying to calm his racing pulse.

When Magnus turned back around, Alec was shaking his head. “No, Magnus, that’s not a good enough reason. I was a jackass and I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry_. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t want to be more than fuck buddies, it doesn’t matter that I don’t do relationships and that has nothing to do with you. I…I lead you on, so many times. And I didn’t even bother to try and know anything about you.”

Alec looked so…distraught, babbling like he was and it made Magnus’ already aching heart hurt all the more. Stepping forward, Magnus caught Alec’s arm, stopping his furious pacing.

“Alec,” Magnus said, voice soft, hand moving to cup Alec’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he said, shaking his head sadly. “I promise.” Something in Magnus ached, he didn’t want it to be okay. Okay meant it didn’t matter anymore. Meant it didn’t hurt him anymore… And it did but…but less. And he didn’t want that at all. Everything… “Everything just got complicated,” Magnus said, swallowing difficultly. “It’s not your fault.”

Alec closed his eyes, licking his lips and Magnus had to force himself back and away. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Alec finally said. “I just…I’ve never done relationships. It’s not you, it’s me. And I didn’t want to hurt you and I just…I couldn’t force myself to give you up.”

Magnus felt his heart break a little more with each word but…but sometimes heart break was good. Sometimes it was what needed to happen. Magnus turned away, pacing to the other side of his desk.

“I know,” Magnus said because he got it now. It wasn’t him and it wasn’t Alec, it was just the shitty situation, doomed from the beginning. Who turned a one night stand into a fuck buddy into a real relationship? No one. It wasn’t done. He got that now. It was just as much his fault, not for falling for Alec but for…for making Alec choose, all or nothing.

Magnus forced himself to look back at Alec, reading the clear confusion on his face.

Magnus smiled bitterly. “It’s not…I’m not going to say it’s not a big deal or it doesn’t hurt, but it’s no one’s fault, Alexander. It never was. We were never supposed to be more than a one night stand is all.” Magnus was proud of himself for saying it with a straight face, for not letting the fact that his heart was tearing in two all over again, show in his eyes.

“So…that’s it?” Alec asked, frowning, eyes heart breakingly wide.

Magnus swallowed, nodding. “We have to stop,” he said firmly. “No more one night stands. No more…anything.”

***

Alec was having an increasingly hard time breathing. He had no idea what was going on or what he’d thought would happen, coming here, to Magnus’ company. But…but it wasn’t this.

Were they…breaking up? It sure felt like it.

Alec swallowed, he wanted to take it back. He wanted to explain to Magnus that he didn’t want to stop, that…that he wanted to try. But the words wouldn’t come because Magnus…Magnus looked so sure and ready for this to be over and Alec…Alec couldn’t hold him back. He’d missed his chance, he thought, swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth. He was too late.

Finally, Alec nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Of course.”

Alec couldn’t be there anymore suddenly, turning to leave when his eyes got caught on something. An easel was set up in the corner of Magnus’ lavish office. On it, rested designs for a building of some sort.

Unable to stop himself, Alec took a step closer. “What is this?”

***

Magnus’ eyes widened as Alec moved to look at the designs for his new project but…Magnus couldn’t resist. He felt his lingering excitement as he stepped forward.

“They’re designs, for a new project of mine,” he said, unable to hold back a grin.

Alec turned to look at him, a smile tilting the corners of his mouth when he looked at Magnus — Magnus’ heart didn’t skip at the look, nope.

“Building a bigger office?” Alec teased and suddenly it was like the last few minutes hadn’t happened even though the ache in his stomach told Magnus it definitely had.

“No,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes. “It’s for a shelter — well, shelter slash community center of sorts. I have property picked out and everything, we’d have to knock down this old, deserted place but it’s in a good part of the city. I’ve been running numbers and with a few investors we could be up within the year.”

Magnus stepped forward, flipping through the boards he’d put together to show investors, everything else briefly forgotten.

***

Something in Alec’s chest fluttered, watching the excitement spread across Magnus’ face that just a moment before had been completely blank as he told Alec they couldn’t see each other anymore.

Clearing his throat, Alec moved closer again, to see the rest of Magnus’ designs. “A shelter?” he asked.

Magnus nodded, chewing his bottom lip. “Slash community center. Somewhere anyone — mostly young adults and teenagers — can come when they need a break. We’ll cater to lgbt youth, and offer internships to the older kids. A place to stay for ones from horrible families, and for any homeless teen. I mean…we’ll have to start small but…with the right investors…myself included…I think it could be amazing.”

Alec tried to look at the boards Magnus was showing him but he kept getting distracted by Magnus, smiling wonderingly at the sketches, eyes shining like he could see the final product already.

Magnus shook his head, looking down suddenly. “When I was…too young,” Magnus said suddenly. “My step father kicked me out for being…well, _too me_.” Magnus laughed bitterly, gesturing to himself. “I was lucky enough to at least have a place to live on a friend’s couch for years. Working to put myself through school, fighting to get where I am today…so many people don’t have that luck, you know?”

Magnus looked over at him and Alec swallowed thickly, nodding. “Yeah.”

Magnus shrugged. “I just want to do my part, now that I can. I always intended too but that dream got kind of lost…creating all this,” he said, gesturing to the office around them.

Alec stared at Magnus and it was like…he’d never seen him before. He’d known Magnus was amazing but…but there’d been so many holes in what he knew and now they were getting filled in and…and Alec didn’t have words for it.

Alec searched for words but couldn’t figure out what to say. Magnus eventually turned to face him, a slight frown on his face. Alec was having a hard time breathing. What was he doing?

“Magnus,” Alec finally said, his voice too loud in the quiet office. “That’s — you’re amazing.”

The words fell from his mouth and Magnus’ eyes went wide, mouth falling open.

Alec’s heart was racing. This was it, the moment, he could say it. Say that he wanted to try and then—

The door was thrown open, shattering the moment. Alec turned to see a short, grumpy man come striding into the office. He stopped suddenly, eyes narrowing on Alec before flicking to Magnus who shrank under his gaze, stepping halfway behind Alec.

“Magnus,” the man said in a kind of scary, if Alec was honest, voice.

Magnus cleared his throat, stepping out from behind Alec and moving towards his desk. “Yes, Raphael?” Magnus said, sitting casually.

Raphael, Alec thought frowning, the name was familiar. It took him just a moment to place it, Raphael, Simon had complained about him before. Always grumpy, always yelling at Simon. Alec bit back a smirk when he glanced out the front window to see Simon watching unabashedly.

“I need the layouts,” Raphael all but barked.

Alec glanced at Magnus in time to see him roll his eyes. “And I need competent employees, and a less grumpy you, we can’t all have what we want Raph,” Magnus said, picking up a discarded sharpie and turning sharp eyes to the papers he’d been looking over when Alec came in.

Alec shifted uncomfortably, suddenly overly aware of the fact that he did not belong here. He watched Magnus chewing his bottom lip, studying the layouts. This was yet another Magnus that Alec hadn’t even begun to glimpse, to learn. Alec’s heart hurt, he felt like he was missing something, some vital piece.

“I’ll show the plaything out.”

Alec zoned back in to the conversation as Raphael turned to him, a fiery glare already in place. Alec almost asked, me? But that was kind of obvious. Plaything, he thought, it was better than he deserved.

Magnus waved them away and Alec swallowed the lump in his throat, following the grumpy man out.

“Sup, Alec?” Simon asked, leaning back in his chair with his feet on his desk.

Raphael unceremoniously strode forward, grabbing Simon’s legs and dropping them on the floor.

Alec snickered, shaking his head.

Before he could reply, Raphael turned another glare on him. “This way.”

Simon sent Alec a sympathetic look before turning back to his computer.

Sighing, Alec followed Raphael who walked fast, heading towards a different elevator than Alec had taken up. Alec only glanced over his shoulder once, staring at Magnus through the windows to his office, swallowing the disappointment when Magnus didn’t look up.

Alec expected Raphael to leave him there but he stepped into the elevator with Alec when it arrived.

 Alec pressed the button for the bottom floor, staring at his shoes awkwardly. Raphael glared at the world around him like it’d personally offended him, arms crossed over his chest. Alec tilted his head, considering the other man — that earned him his own glare.

Alec shifted, staring at the numbers going steadily down as the elevator moved. When they were just passed floor three, Raphael moved, jabbing the button that stops the elevator harder than necessary.

“Um,” Alec said, shifting uncomfortably. “What are you doing?”

Raphael turned to Alec, arms folded across his chest, his glare kicking up a few levels until Alec was sure it could burn something. Raphael took a step forward, and then another, backing Alec up against the wall.

“I’m only going to say this once,” Raphael said, and there was so much…disgust in his voice, eyes alight with hatred, that Alec tried to take another step back only he had nowhere to go. “Stay away from Magnus.”

Alec’s heart hammered and he opened his mouth to object but Raphael waved his words away.

“I do not want to hear your excuses, you’re not good for him. I know because if you were he would not have had to spend a weekend on my couch, falling apart.”

Alec had never been on the receiving end of a “don’t break my sibling’s heart” talk before, but he’d given plenty and this felt remarkably like that. Only he was being told to stay away. For good.

Alec swallowed, standing up straight and refusing to back down. “Look,” he said, voice firm. “I know I’ve made mistakes, okay? But…but I want to fix that.” It was the first time he’d admitted it but…it felt right. _Magnus_ felt right.

Raphael snorted, rolling his eyes. “It is too late, pretty boy,” he sneered. “Magnus is finally getting himself back together. I cannot believe he is doing this again but he’s weak when it comes to love, always has been. Throwing his heart away to the nearest person. But you…” Raphael paused, shaking his head, eyes narrowed on Alec. “Something was different this time, like it was real. And then…”

Raphael turned away, stalking back to the buttons and restarting the elevator. “You broke his heart. Not once. But twice. Did you know it was his birthday?”

Alec was finding it hard to breathe as the elevator finally made it to the bottom floor. He swallowed, forcing his voice to work. “What? When?” he asked, his brain suddenly on overload.

Raphael turned to him with a glare, disgust clear in his eyes. “That day after he confessed he wanted to be with you and you turned him down only to come back for one last roll in the sheets.”

“What—”

“No. We’re done. Goodbye.”

Before Alec knew what was happening, Raphael had grabbed his arm and yanked him from the elevator, disappearing back inside it himself.

“Wait! I didn’t—” Raphael waved as the elevator closed, condescending smirk on his face.

Alec felt numb as he turned and left Bane Co. His mind spun but nothing made sense anymore. It’d been Magnus birthday? Alec felt sick to his stomach suddenly.

And now…Magnus had called it quits. That was one of the rules, it ended whenever.

So that was it. It was over. Done.

There was a sharp pain in Alec’s heart the whole way home. He had no right to be upset, to feel…to feel heart broken. But he did.

***

The next weeks were a blur. Magnus kept busy, drowning in plans for the shelter, getting investors in line. He’d hired a contractor. Cat, Ragnor, and Raphael were all on board to help anyway they could. Things were quickly coming together.

Then he’d fired half the magazine staff at Bane Co. Which meant working extra hours to get things out on time and hire new people. Between all of that, his normal work load, and board meetings, Magnus was perfectly over worked. It didn’t leave much free time but when he did have it, Magnus did his best not to think of Alec. It wasn’t that he didn’t still want Alec — god, he still wanted Alec, in bed, against the wall, forever — and he kept hearing Alec calling him amazing and that…was not any help for Magnus moving on. He still wanted Alec, it was just that…that he was trying hard not to want Alec.

Two weeks passed without seeing each other, it hadn’t gotten easier not to think about him yet. Magnus wasn’t even sure he wanted it too. Something about this, with Alec…it was different. Magnus had thought he’d been in love before, had had countless relationships but nothing…nothing felt the way Magnus felt when he was with Alec… That was the problem. It would be a lot easier if it’d just been good sex.

***

Alec threw himself into anything that came his way. He applied for new internships. He taught extra classes for Jace. He started spending more time at the library again and stopped blowing Isabelle off when she wanted him to go out with them.

He tried to tell himself to get over Magus. That Magnus was better off without him. But no matter how many times he told himself, it didn’t stop the horrible pinning that had come over him. How could he have been so stupid to ever turn Magnus down? Suddenly, it was clear how much of an idiot he was and he couldn’t remember anymore why he’d ever thought that was the thing to do. When he wasn’t busy pinning, he was berating himself for being the world’s biggest idiot — or else googling Magnus.

He should’ve put it together sooner. Could’ve if he’d actually stopped to think about it but instead of getting to know Magnus, Alec had just…taken it for granted that he could have this, their stolen moments, for as long as he wanted and never even have to work for it. Fuck, he’d probably heard Simon and Clary talk about Magnus a million times before and after he met him, yet he never stopped to think, even after he found out they worked for him.

Alec groaned, rolling over in bed and closing his laptop. He’d read dozens upon dozens of articles by then, and even though most were similar, he never got bored reading about the great Magnus Bane.

Alec grabbed his pillow, shoving it over his face.

It’d been two weeks and he’d resisted every urge to go to Magnus, to call him, to text him. To run to him and tell him how sorry he was, beg forgiveness and do everything in his power to win him back and be deserving of that. Every day it was a struggle.

He tried moving on. Tried to find someone new to hook up with but dancing in a crowded club no man that hit on him, that grinded against him, made him stop thinking about shining eyes and dark hair. About smooth skin and a laugh that made Alec’s heart ache. No sloppy kissing in a hotel room let him shut off his thoughts and he ran off on two different hookups before his shirt had even been removed.

He had no idea what to do. Clearly it was time to bring in the big guns.

Alec dug around on his bed until he found his phone, quickly bringing up Isabelle’s number.

***

“Magnus!”

Magnus sat up from his position stretched out on the lounger on his balcony, alarmed as Clary’s flushed face appeared on his phone. “Biscuit, are you okay?” he asked. He’d been enjoying a nice, lazy night after a stressful week at work, a bottle of wine and a good book at his side.

Clary’s face disappeared for a minute, her laughter trickling over the phone as it moved to show the outside of a club and Magnus relaxed, realizing the flushed look was one of excitement. “Stop,” Clary said, laughing a moment before her face reappeared. “Magnus!” she shouted again.

“Biscuit!” Magnus said, rolling his eyes fondly.

Clary scrunched up her nose, laughing. “You have to come out,” she said, turning pleading suddenly. “Please? We’re celebrating.”

“I came out years ago, Biscuit,” Magnus teased, looking at his wine and book forlornly. “What are we celebrating?” he asked, already getting to his feet. Who was he to turn down a celebration?

Clary laughed again. “I’ll tell you when you get here. I’ll text you the address,” she said, waving before hanging up.

Magnus sighed, moving back inside to get ready.

He was in the middle of reapplying his makeup when his phone rang, Clary face-timing him again. Magnus answered, situating the phone on the cabinet as he finished his eyeliner.

“Yes, Biscuit?” he asked.

“I forgot to tell you,” Clary started and her voice was drastically less excited now, making Magnus set down his eyeliner and pick up the phone. Clary looked anxious, biting her bottom lip.

“Forgot to tell me what?” he asked, frowning.

Clary glanced away from her phone, looking at something across from her before turning back to Magnus. She was walking down the street now Magnus realized. “Alec will be there,” she finally said, looking back at Magnus.

Magnus shrugged. “Is that it?”

Clary looked shocked. “Y-yes. I just…wanted to warn you,” she said, peering close at the screen. “Are you okay with that?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Yes. I’m be fine,” he said, setting down the phone again. “And I figured he would be there because I assume this has something to do with that fancy dinner your boyfriend took you to last night,” Magnus teased.

Clary flushed, looking away from the screen again. “Shut up,” she said. Then, “You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

“I’m a big boy, Biscuit. I’ll be fine.”

***

“Jace and I are moving in together!” Clary said, grinning giddily.

Isabelle squealed, leaping up to hug her even though Alec knew for a fact she already knew, as Jace had been bugging them both for weeks as he debated asking Clary to move in with him. It had been agonizing.

Alec stood quietly, hugging them both when everyone else was done. They’d settled in at a long table at Jace’s favorite bar/resurant which Alec was thankful for as the first half of the night had involved a horrible club. Of course, the second part also included Magnus which Alec would never complain about.

He’d barely glanced at Magnus since he arrived, he sat across the table and two seats to Alec’s left. Alec focused on breathing. He could feel Magnus, just a few seats away. White noise filled his mind, making it hard to concentrate.

Isabelle squeezed his arm reassuringly.

Alec glanced over to see her giving him a look. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered low enough that only he could hear. “Trust me.”

Alec nodded. He did trust Isabelle. He breathed in deeply, urging his heart to slow to a more normal rate.

“A toast,” Magnus said suddenly and Alec couldn’t help it, he lifted his head, eyes automatically drawn to Magnus who stood up, dressed in a tight black shirt with necklaces layered on top. He’d changed his hair, just a little, cut it. His earrings more visible now. Alec swallowed, not allowing his gaze to linger on Magnus’ throat or lips that were turned up in a small smile. “To Biscuit and what’s his name, may they find living together more romantic and less annoying than it actually is.”

Alec snorted, clicking glasses with Isabelle.

“Nice,” Simon said, holding his fist out to Magnus who looked at it with one eyebrow raised. “I don’t do that,” he said, turning away from Simon. For just a second, Magnus looked at Alec and their eyes met and — and a bomb went off in Alec’s chest, an explosion rocking him as waves of longing overcame him. And then Magnus looked away. And Alec forgot to breathe again.

***

Alec was driving Magnus insane. Magnus thought he could handle it — and he could, he totally could — but god he was driving Magnus insane. Sitting there, eating fries. How dare he? The worst was when he slowly licked off his finger. Magnus groaned, closing his eyes.

“You okay?” Simon asked, sitting next to Magnus.

Magnus opened his eyes, glaring. “Of course,” he snapped, tuning back in to listen as Isabelle and Alec gave a detailed account of just how nervous Jace had been about asking Clary to move in.

Magnus did his best not to stare too much but…but he was starving, not for food but for a certain dark haired man he hadn’t seen in weeks. Magnus shook his head, forcing his gaze away again. Dinner was half over, he could survive. He would survive.

“I swear, I thought Jace was going to barf all over the kids in class the other day,” Alec said, quickly dodging a fry thrown by Jace.

“They’re exaggerating,” Jace said, as Clary laughed at him.

“Are not,” Alec said and he…grinned. Magnus held in another groan, Alec’s grins would be the death of him. It made him weak at the knees, weak all around.

Magnus stood suddenly but casually, holding up his empty glass at the questioning look from Clary. He made his way through the large, mostly empty restaurant, sauntering up to the bar.

“Whiskey on the rocks,” he said, winking at the mildly handsome bartender.

“And two beers.”

Magnus closed his eyes, clenching his hand into a fist for just moment. _Of course._

Alec carefully leaned up against the bar next to Magnus. Even with his eyes closed, Magnus could feel the careful distance Alec left between them. He hadn’t called, Magnus thought, or texted. Hadn’t tried to convince Magnus. Hadn’t shown up for another one night stand. Magnus’ heart pounded as he opened his eyes.

Alec offered a weary smile, his eyes dark and…hopeful? under the dim fairy lights. “How have you been?” Alec asked, hesitating over the question and looking away from Magnus right after.

Relaxing suddenly, Magnus smirked a little at Alec’s hesitation. He studied the other man for a moment, he still felt the pull towards Alec, almost painfully so. He still felt the urge to pull him into a bathroom stall for a quickie but it was something he could say no to know. Something he could deny, because it wouldn’t make him happy, even if Alec did.

Magnus cleared his throat, staring at the cracked and peeling bar. “Good,” he said and it was the truth. “Really good.”

Alec looked back over at him before bouncing his gaze away again. “Good,” he repeated, a small, sad smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. “I’m glad.”

Magnus nodded, feeling the familiar ache now, for Alec, all of him. He cleared his throat again, forcing his mind to work. “So when do you find out about the bar?” he asked, leaping onto the first thing that came to him.

Alec straightened up suddenly, the only sign that he was nervous. “November,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

Magnus smiled slightly, staring at Alec out of the corner of his eyes. He breathed deeply and could just catch a whiff of Alec’s aftershave. “Just a month away. Are you nervous?” Magnus asked, turning to face him more fully.

Magnus’ eyes tracked Alec’s Adam’s apple as it bobbed, Alec swallowing thickly. “A little,” he admitted, leaning against the bar again and turning to face Magnus.

Magnus lost his breath at the full force of Alec’s beautiful eyes turned to him. He greedily took in Alec, filing away every little bit of how he looked right then, eyes burrowing into Magnus’, mouth opened the slightest bit like he was going to say something but forgot the moment their eyes met.

Magnus’ pulse raced as his mind automatically turned to memories of being pressed up against the wall and kissed thoroughly. Of lying in bed, Alec looking down at him, running lazy fingers up and down Magnus’ side. Of Alec’s strong arms pulling him back to bed when he got up to get ready for work in the morning, head thrown back, laughing.

Magnus shivered and, before he could stop himself, he stepped forward, right into Alec. One hand moving to the back of his neck, the other gripping his shirt. Magnus closed his eyes, tugging Alec close and kissing him with everything he had. It was fast and messy, mouths open, tongues dancing. It was butterflies in his stomach and lightning in his blood.

Magnus pulled back quickly, out of breath as his heart pounded.

The slow bartender finally slid their drinks to them. Alec’s eyes flickered open, one hand going to his lips like he’d never felt the intensity of their kisses before.

He looked at Magnus, lowering his hand. “Magnus…” Alec said, voice low and hoarse.

Magnus grinned, pressing one last, quick kiss to Alec’s lips before stepping back. “Okay, I’m good,” he said, nodding sternly before grabbing his drink and heading back to the table, possibly adding a little extra sway to his hips.

Magnus let out a deep breath, sitting back down. He bit back a grin when Alec joined them a moment later, ignoring the look Simon was giving him that told him the nerdy boy had seen exactly what happened at the bar.

What? Magnus was weak. He couldn’t resist temptation. He just needed a little something to get through the night. Sue him.

***

Alec found it hard to concentrate through the rest of dinner, it got even worse as it approached midnight and more people started arriving, karaoke starting up. Alec’s gaze kept returning to Magnus, his lips still tingling from the feeling of kissing Magnus again. God, he was addicted to Magnus’ lips, if it came down to breathing or kissing Magnus Alec knew he wouldn’t hesitate to choose Magnus.

That was not part of the plan, Alec thought, glancing over at Isabelle and wondering if she’d seen. Judging by the lack of pointed looks, she hadn’t.

Alec replayed the kiss in his mind, Magnus’ wide grin after, saying “okay, I’m good” like he’d needed just one kiss to go on with his night. Alec hid a smile. That was a good sign, he thought. Maybe it wasn’t hopeless.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, Jace managed to convince Alec to drink enough to go up on stage with him and Simon for karaoke. Magnus cat calling and whistling the whole time. Izzy hogged the stage, singing one song after another and Alec was sure everyone else in there had to be drinking as much as they were because they just kept requesting more. And Alec loved his sister but she wasn’t the best singer.

Finally, after Magnus, Clary, Simon, and Isabelle did a wonderful rendition of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, the six of them stumbled out of the restaurant, various arms linked to stop from toppling over.

They wandered down the street, Izzy insisting fresh air was good for them. Magnus walked ahead of Alec, arms linked with Clary. Alec tried to keep his gaze locked firmly on the back of Magnus’ head but it kept wandering down further.

God, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut and trusting Izzy, who held on to his arm, to guide him. He wanted Magnus so much that it hurt. Wanted to be walking next to him, holding his hand. Wanted to be going home with him, just to curl up in bed and sleep off the shots they’d all done. Just…just to have him.

Clary suddenly stopped, pulling Magnus to a stop with her. Alec barely managed to stop himself from barreling straight into them.

“Oh,” Clary said, snapping her fingers. “I almost forgot! Come on, hurry.” She led the way down the street, whistling for a cab before anyone could ask what was going on.

“We have something to show you,” she said, grinning as Jace waved down a second taxi.

***

“Ta da!” Clary said, throwing open the apartment door and rushing in to turn the lights on.

Magnus stepped through first, eyebrows raising as he took in the space. It was a one bedroom in a fairly nice building but…

“Wow,” Isabelle said, walking around slowly. “It’s…”

“Shit,” Alec supplied helpfully. “It is even safe to live here?”

The carpet was thin, stained here and there, peeling up in the corners. The walls were covered in hideous wallpaper which was fine because it was falling off anyway. Besides that…it was nice. A good, open space. A nice, big kitchen that could use some paint. Lots of windows. Magnus turned about, trying to find more good things but…nope. That was it.

Clary sighed, grabbing Jace’s arm. “We know it needs some work but it’s in the perfect location—”

“And we can afford it,” Jace added.

“We just need a little help repainting and…the like,” Clary said, offering another wide smile.

Isabelle clapped her hands. “I get to help decorate and pick out colors for the walls,” she called, moving to the window to look out.

“Deal!” Clary said before Jace could object. She turned to Alec, raising an eyebrow.

Magnus glanced at him too, denying the urge to kiss him again. It was a strong urge, a pulling in his gut even when wasn’t looking at Alec. God, he missed him. God, he needed help, Magnus thought, shaking his head at himself. Professional help, a twelve step system to quit Alec Lightwood.

Alec sighed, rolling his eyes. “Do I have a choice?”

“No,” Jace said, punching Alec’s arm lightly.

Magnus’ eyes lingered on Alec’s arms, he’d put on his leather jacket, hiding his muscles but Magnus’ imagination was good. When his gaze wandered to Alec’s abs — unfairly hidden from the world — he forced his gaze away.

“I’ll help,” Magnus offered, smirking. “If by help you mean stand around looking fabulous and bossing Samuel around.”

“Hey!” Simon shouted.

“Great!” Clary said, clapping her hands. “Next weekend good for everyone?”

***

“Well, now that that’s settled,” Isabelle said, stretching. “Alec and I have places to be.”

Alec glanced over sharply. “We do?”

Isabelle nodded. “Yup. You’re helping me with a paper, remember?” she said pointedly.

Alec frowned, eyes moving to Magnus automatically and duh. He realized what Isabelle was doing and nodded. “Right, paper,” he said, swallowing dryly, eyes lingering on Magnus. “We should go.”

“You’re going to write a paper after drinking all night?” Jace asked with a frown.

“I do my best work a little tipsy,” Isabelle said, grinning proudly.

Alec forced himself not to glance at Magnus. This was good, Isabelle was right, Alec told himself firmly. If he stayed, followed them all to the next bar or to get ice cream like they’d been talking about, then Alec would linger, trying to spend more time with Magnus and then Alec would break and do something stupid like try to hook up with him again and that was not part of the plan.

Alec followed Isabelle, waving at the others, and ignoring the way his lips still tingled, the subtle — or not so subtle — pull in his gut, trying to drag him back to Magnus.

After making sure Izzy got back to her dorm safe, Alec went home, flopping down on his bed for lack of anything better to do. He closed his eyes, breathing in and out steadily. Magnus had kissed him tonight. Why? “Okay, I’m good.” To get Alec out of his system? But that meant some part of him still wanted Alec right? Craved his kiss the way Alec craved Magnus? That was good, right? And now…now they had the perfect opportunity.

“You need to woo him Alec, you need to win him back,” Isabelle had said. “Or…or prove to him and yourself that you want this, that…that it’s going to be different this time. Just take it slow but don’t wait too long. He won’t wait for you forever and he shouldn’t have too.”

Alec smiled softly. He could do this. He _would_ do this. He would be everything Magnus deserved and hope he wasn’t too late.

***

Magnus had a fool proof plan, he called it “how to not sleep with Alec”. It had exactly one step, “don’t sleep with Alec or you will hate yourself forever”. Even that wasn’t very convincing because it was a lie. So, when that inevitably failed, Magnus told himself he was allowed to kiss Alec, once more, to hold himself over. But that was all.

“You are pathetic,” he told his reflection, shaking his head sadly. “And you’re okay with that, aren’t you? You smug bastard.”

Sighing, Magnus left the bathroom, grabbing his jacket on his way out of the loft. At least he had hours of bossing Sherwin and the blond around to look forward too.

***

Alec had a fool proof plan, vetted by Isabelle. He forgot all about it the moment he walked into Jace and Clary’s new place to find Magnus in a tight black sweater, sleeves rolled up. God, he thought, pulling his eyes away quickly, the only thing worse would be if he’d worn a tank top.

Alec nodded along to whatever Jace was telling him, watching Magnus out of the corner of his eyes. He was wearing darker makeup than usual, it made his eyes pop even more. No jewelry for once. Tight pants, sooo tight. His hair was spiked up but glitter-less and Alec couldn’t help but grin because this was Magnus’ take on dressing casually to paint an apartment.

“Alec, are you listening?”

Alec blinked, shaking his head and turning back to Jace who was glaring. Oops. “Sorry, what did you say?” Alec asked, pulling of his jacket.

“Oh my god,” Magnus gasped loudly behind him.

Alec peered over his shoulder and lost his breath when he found Magnus’ eyes on him. Swallowing dryly, Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Is that shirt…white?” Magnus asked, eyes comically wide.

“Ha. Ha.” Alec deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

“Seriously, am I having a stroke?” Magnus continued.

Alec’s heart raced, every breath hurt. Magnus was being so…casual. Was that good? At least he wasn’t avoiding Alec or ignoring him entirely. God, Alec thought, I have got to stop reading into every little thing.

“Nope, that shirt is definitely white,” Simon said, shrugging. “Five bucks says he wore it because he didn’t want to ruin his precious ugly black sweaters. Or, gasp, that black shirt he has exactly twelve of.”

“Hey,” Alec snapped. “I have thirteen black shirts.”

Magnus laughed, throwing his head back and distracting Alec once more.

“Earth to Alec,” Jace called, snapping his fingers to bring Alec’s attention back to him.

Over his shoulder, Magnus muttered, “Do you think he knows I stole one?” and Alec had to force his cheeks not to flush, as his heart pounded harder than ever. He was not going to survive the day like this. He’d expected Magnus to ignore him or at least be…passive aggressive. But teasing, playful Magnus? That would surely be the death of him.

“Just, start over there,” Jace finally said, waving him away.

***

Life was much easier, now that Magnus admitted to himself he couldn’t have Alec. Now that Magnus had reminded himself that he was fine without him — well, mostly fine. He still had a full life at least, just a little less complete and happy than an Alec filled life would be.

Magnus shook his head, dismissing that thought. He was happy. And he could spend this little bit of time with Alec, helping out a friend, and not lose his mind. Even with Alec in that white shirt that clung to his skin, perfectly showing off his abs. Magnus cursed the gods for that one, why couldn’t he have just worn an ugly, formless sweater? Or a tight black shirt? Or a tank top — nope. Wrong direction. Magnus glared at the wall he was slowly and methodically painting. Alec really should’ve been considerate and worn a full snow suit, complete with fluffy jacket. But he’d look adorable in that, wouldn’t he?

“Sherwin,” Magnus said suddenly. “Entertain us.”

“What?” Simon squeaked, turning so fast that the white paint primer they were using flew off his paint brush. Magnus leaned to the side, just avoiding it before glaring at the splotch on his wall. Clary and Jace had removed the wallpaper by the time Magnus got there, and he’d been happy to see they’d picked out a champagne color for the walls and a dark blue for the designs he and Clary planned on adding over it.

“I said,” Magnus repeated, glaring as he wiped a drop of paint from his arm. “Entertain us.”

“Why me?” Simon asked, going back to his section of the wall.

“Because you’re an entertainer, are you not?” The conversation was successfully holding Magnus attention away from Alec who’s shirt showed off every muscle as he used the paint roller on the bigger wall.

Simon was grumbling to himself when the front door opened again. “Don’t worry,” Isabelle called. “I’ve arrived and I brought music.”

***

The day passed quickly. They got the walls primed and painted, between bouts of impromptu dancing. Taking a break for lunch and then to get more paint. Alec managed to chill out but still every time Magnus spoke to him, his heart started racing. He was on overload, being so close to Magnus for so much of the day. But no touching, so careful not to even bump while passing each other.

“There’s still so much to do,” Clary said, staring around forlornly.

“What?” Jace asked, “We’ve made tons of progress! The kitchen is half primed, the main rooms practically done. The carpet guys are coming next week. We’ll be ready to move in before you know it.”

“Yeah but there’s still the designs for the walls and the bedroom isn’t even primed. And we only have tomorrow,” Clary said, leaning into Jace when he put an arm around her shoulders.

Alec swallowed dryly, looking away from them with a new ache in his stomach. He hadn’t thought about it much, how Jace was lucky. How Jace was in love, was moving in with the person he loved and was already tentatively talking about one day proposing to her. He was happy. And Alec…

Alec’s eyes moved, unbidden, to Magnus who stood across the room with Izzy and Simon, holding a paint brush over Simon’s head as Simon attempted to flirt with Izzy. Izzy, who looked at Simon with the biggest smile Alec had ever seen on her face.

Shaking his head, Alec turned back to his brother. “You guys have been here all day,” he said. “You should take a break. I’ll stay and finish the kitchen.”

Jace grinned. “Perfect!”

Clary smiled but shook her head. “We can’t let you do that, Alec.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can,” he said. “I didn’t get you a house warming present.”

***

Magnus hummed to himself, carefully sticking the stencils he’d made to the wall and pretending not to notice everyone else slowly leaving. Alec finally managed to convince Clary and Jace to take a break. Half an hour later, Isabelle threw down her paint brush with an exhausted sigh.

“Okay, I’m done,” she said, unceremoniously, grabbing her jacket and bag. “Simon’s buying me dinner and we don’t want to miss our reservations.”

“Reservations?” Simon squeaked. “But I didn’t—”

Isabelle grinned, grabbing his arm. “I know,” she said, beaming. “I did.”

Magnus watched them leave, laughing softly. “She’s going to eat him alive, isn’t she?” he asked casually, overly aware of the fact that Alec was the only person left, carefully painting around the kitchen cabinets.

“Oh definitely,” Alec said, shaking his head sadly. “He doesn’t stand a chance.”

Magnus nodded, considering the other two walls before picking the one with windows. The stencils were nothing too fancy, elegant lines and swirls to give the room a little more class. “Maybe it will work out,” he said thoughtfully.

Alec cleared his throat. “Yeah, maybe.”

Magnus ignored the awkward silence, finishing hanging the second stencil before moving to the can of blue paint.

“He might be good for Isabelle,” Alec finally said.

Magnus looked over, watching him jump off the counter top he’d been standing on, his shirt pulling up and showing a flash of skin. Magnus pulled his eyes away, looking over the kitchen, Alec was already done priming it.

“Are the walls dry?” Alec asked, nodding to the stencils.

Magnus swallowed, clearing his throat. “Yeah.”

Moving closer, Alec took the paint can from Magnus, setting it on the counter to open it. “You know,” Alec said. “You don’t have to do this tonight.”

Magnus shrugged, picking a small brush from the pile. “Someone has to keep you company,” he teased, turning away as he said it, his heart pounding. “Plus,” he quickly added. “I won’t be here tomorrow and none of you can be trusted doing this. Can’t leave Clary stuck doing it alone.”

“Hey,” Alec said, turning with a teasing glare. “I could totally do what you’re doing. I can color inside the lines,” he said, pointing out the stencils.

Magnus threw his head back, laughing. “Fine then,” he said, smirking. “Get to work.”

***

The first hour passed peacefully, Alec helping Magnus with the stencils while the primed kitchen dried. They talked a little, mostly teasing and it was…easy, even though Alec couldn’t breathe. But the later it got, the harder it was to pretend he didn’t feel the tension in the air, that his eyes didn’t linger on Magnus more and more.

Alec swallowed, glancing away from Magnus again, focusing on painting and breathing. Finally, Alec couldn’t take it anymore. Still staring at the wall though he’d stopped painting, Alec blurted, “Why’d you kiss me?”

Alec winced as Magnus flinched, nearly messing up the wall at Alec’s sudden question, Alec clarified, “The other night, at the bar.”

Magnus sighed, lowering his hand to his side and stepping away from the wall.

Alec turned to face him slowly, there was a small smile on the corner of Magnus’ mouth that sent Alec’s heart galloping on faster than ever.

“Why do I do anything, Alexander?” Magnus asked, looking back to the wall. Alec’s heart skipped when Magnus said his full name, stomach flipping over and over when Magnus looked back at him. “Because I _wanted_ too.”

Alec let that sink in for a second, eyes locked with Magnus’. He’d wanted to kiss Alec, that was good. Alec licked his lips. There was too much space between them, Alec wanted to be closer, so much closer, but didn’t move.

Finally, he asked, “And what do you want now?”

Magnus frowned, eyes widening like he hadn’t expected the question. He shrugged after a moment, giving Alec a self-deprecating grin. “The same thing I wanted when I first saw you,” he said, voice on the edge of a laugh as he smirked. “To climb you like a tree.”

Alec froze, swallowing with difficulty as Magnus stepped forward slowly and seductively. He stopped barely a foot away, batting his eyelashes as he slowly licked his lips. Alec felt his eyes narrow, felt the pull in his gut intensify as he ached to reach out for Magnus.

When Magnus spoke again, his voice was lower, impossibly sexy. “But I’m holding myself back,” he said, and the teasing smirk disappeared as did the ‘come hither’ eyes.

“Why?” Alec asked before he could stop himself, even though he was terrified of the answer. His heart pounding along in his chest was the only sound in the world as Magnus stared up at him, searching for words.

Alec took a deep breath and reminded himself that this wasn’t going to be easy, it wasn’t supposed to. It would take time. He just…he needed to know if he stood a chance and Magnus looked like his eyes held all the answers in the universe right then.

Magnus cleared his throat, glancing away. “I don’t like what it did to me and I don’t want to go back there.”

***

Magnus had no idea what was happening suddenly. He’d been stupid, staying behind with Alec but…but he still couldn’t help himself. He still wanted to be around Alec as much as possible because even on the other side of the room, ignoring each other, Alec made Magnus’ pulse race. Made a smile come easier to his face. Made… Magnus didn’t even know how to explain it but he could just feel Alec there, watching him and Magnus just…wanted that so bad. Still.

He stared up at Alec now, trying not to let everything show on his face. The way his heart raced. The way he still wanted Alec, just how much he wanted Alec. That…that it was killing him, on some level, to want Alec so bad and know he’d never have him. Not the way he wanted.

“What what did to you?” Alec finally asked and he sounded so sincere and he looked so…worried that it nearly broke Magnus’ heart again.

Magnus cleared his throat. This was good. They should talk about this. Now that they weren’t an option anymore. Because…because their circles of friends overlapped and…other perfectly reasonable reasons. Not because Magnus still had hope because having hope would be stupid…wouldn’t it?

Magnus forced his eyes back to Alec’s. “Losing you,” he said, wishing he didn’t see pain flash in Alec’s eyes, telling himself it wasn’t real. “I was…not myself, for a bit there. It’s not your fault,” he continued quickly. “I didn’t even notice when I gave you my heart, how could you know you were stomping on it? But I just…can’t do that again.”

Magnus turned away before he could see Alec struggling to find words. He moved back to his spot on the first wall, it was nearly done now. He should leave soon, he thought, swallowing a lump in his throat. He didn’t want Alec to be so bad for him…he thought Alec could even be good for him, but…but they’d just met at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Maybe if things had been different —

Magnus shook his head.

A few minutes passed and Alec moved back to painting too. “I’m going to make it up to you,” he said suddenly.

Magnus froze, heart stopping. He stared at the wall but he could see Alec from the corner of his eye, serious look on his face, tongue sticking out as he painted one of the more complex designs.

“Make what up to me?” Magnus asked when he found his voice again. He dismissed Alec’s words in his mind though because they were crazy…weren’t they?

Alec was chewing his bottom lip now, both of them concentrating harder than necessary on painting. “Everything,” he finally said.

Magnus’ heart started beating again, slowly getting faster and faster at all the possibility that word seemed to hold. What was that even supposed to mean? he wondered, mind spinning.

Magnus forced a fake sounding laugh. “Does that mean you’re going to buy me potstickers to make up for that time you stole mine?” he asked, forcing a jovial tone.

“Yes,” Alec said without hesitation but his voice was far too serious. “That and everything else.”

Magnus froze again, pulling away from the wall so he wouldn’t smudge his design. He finally looked at Alec, because that sounded too much like something Magnus had been dying to hear but couldn’t believe.

Alec turned to face him without hesitation, meeting Magnus’ gaze head on, eyes open and — and Magnus lost his breath, heart pounding crazy fast.

Alec’s eyes burned into Magnus’, stealing his breath as soon as he got it back. “It was your birthday,” Alec said, squeezing his eyes shut for a second and giving Magnus a chance to breath before they opened again. “I didn’t know.”

Magnus couldn’t breathe so he just nodded. What was happening? Did Alec mean —

Magnus cut his thoughts off, he couldn’t think about that right now.

He turned back to the wall, breathing out slowly. “Get painting then,” he said, forcing a smirk as his heart slowly started beating again.

***

Alec held back a smile the rest of the night. This was going to work, he thought. He could get this to work.

Magnus spent the rest of the night teasing Alec about his painting ability, ignoring their conversation but Alec didn’t blame him. He thought — he _hoped_ , that Magnus just…didn’t believe him yet. He just had to prove it, prove he could make it up to Magnus, prove he could be what Magnus deserved. And he would. Because if there was one thing Alec had realized, in his mess of an emotional state the last month, it was that…that he wanted Magnus. Not just for sex. Not just every other night. Always. He’d just been so stupid, and now he’d make up for that. He had too. He couldn’t lose Magnus for real, forever. He wouldn’t. Not without a fight.

***

Alec had hailed a cab for Magnus at the end of the night. He didn’t kiss Magnus. He didn’t joke about sharing a cab.

Magnus was…confused. Very confused. He’d never seen Alec act like this before. What was he trying to do? Magnus’ heart raced on the whole ride home, his mind going in endless circles because Alec couldn’t mean — Alec couldn’t want… Could he?

Falling into bed exhausted and smelling of paint, Magnus decided he couldn’t think about this any longer. He’d only agonize over it and there was no reason too. It was nothing. He’d just continue as he was and…and see what happened.

***

Alec’s mind was constantly filled with thoughts of Magnus and how to do it, win him back, make things up to him. He knew that even if Magnus turned him down at the end of it all…he had to do it. He had to try. But how?

Luckily, an opportunity presented itself a week later. Jace had taken a week off work to finish the apartment for Clary and they were all invited for dinner the day after they moved in. Including Magnus.

***

Magnus was the last to arrive — on purpose of course, how else was one to make an entrance? He knocked on the door to Clary and Jace’s apartment, already able to hear the others laughing and yelling through the door.

Magnus shook his head when no one answered, feeling sorry for their new neighbors as he let himself in.

“Isabelle, get out of the kitchen before you burn something,” Alec called from the living room, where he was opening a window.

“I’m not doing anything!” Isabelle screamed.

Magnus smirked, shaking his head and closing the door behind him. The apartment looked…perfect. Looking around Magnus never would’ve guessed at the mess it had been just over a week ago. The living room and kitchen were painted, there was thick, dark carpet on the floor, and new furniture that Magnus had picked out and paid for to surprise Clary — an early Christmas present, he’d said when she protested — arranged perfectly in the living room.

Magnus allowed a self-satisfied smile to cross his face, he’d been right about red leather couch, it looked perfect.

Alec was the first to notice him as Clary, Isabelle, Jake, and Simon were all in the kitchen, arguing over who was going to do what.

Alec turned around from opening the windows, eyes pulled to Magnus. A smile curved the corners of his mouth, making Magnus’ heart skip even though he told it firmly not too.

“Magnus,” Alec said, and dear god if that didn’t have the power to take Magnus apart and put him back together. Alec, saying his name on the edge of a breath, like he didn’t even mean to but he liked the sound of it.

Magnus cleared his throat, forcing a smile. He stepped into the kitchen, presenting Clary with the wine he’d brought and surveying the mess of ingredients on the counters.

Clary hugged Magnus tight. “Thank you,” she said, pulling back to meet his eyes. “For everything.”

Magnus waved it away. “Anything for you, my protégé.”

Clary laughed, passing the wine to Jace and ordering Simon to find the plastic cups they’d bought.

Magnus gasped. “You’re going to drink three-hundred-dollar wine, out of plastic cups?” he demanded.

Clary froze, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Is that bad?” she asked.

Magnus shook his head. “I guess I know what I’m getting you for Christmas,” he mumbled.

Clary laughed, while Jace mumbled, “Three hundred dollars?” under his breath.

***

Alec hung back, eyes locked on Magnus. He needed to chill, he told himself firmly.

“I can cut things!” Isabelle shouted, pointing a knife at Jace as he tried to kick her from the kitchen again. “And would you all stop with the cooking jokes already? I’ve been watching cooking shows. I’m getting better!”

Alec snorted. “Izzy, I love you,” he said, coming up behind her and taking the knife from her hand. “But no amount of cooking shows will help you.”

Isabelle turned to glare at him. “You’re lucky I don’t have that knife right now,” she said. “You’re all lucky.” Glaring at everyone, Isabelle folded her arms and marched into the living room. “If you don’t want my help, then fine. But remember, I know how to kill someone and hide the body where even if it was found, they’d never find out who did it.”

Alec shared a look with Jace, fighting back a grin. Jace rolled his eyes. “She’d never actually kill us,” Jace said.

Alec shrugged. “I’m not so sure.”

Magnus clapped his hands suddenly, shooing Clary and Simon away from where they were arguing about what to do with the chicken. “Out of the kitchen, all of you,” he ordered, pressing plastic cups of wine into their hands and pushing them away. “Now.”

“What?” Clary asked. “Why?”

“Because, I love you biscuit, but I’m pretty sure you’ve never cooked chicken in your life and I want to save you and all of us, from food poisoning or rubbery over cooked chicken,” Magnus said, making doe eyes at Clary. “It’s for your own good.”

Clary hesitated. “But we were supposed to cook for you, for helping us.”

Magnus patted her arm. “You can buy us pizza another time. It’s okay, biscuit, artists are called starving for a reason, you don’t have time to learn to cook.”

Jace had already left, flopping down on the couch next to Isabelle, who stole the wine from his hand, downing it in one gulp and punching his arm when he complained. Simon chewed a carrot noisily, moving to the living room himself.

Clary finally sighed. “Fine,” she said. “But I’m helping.”

Magnus nodded, already rolling up the sleeves of his dark blue shirt. He turned around, bumping into Alec and looking up quickly. Their eyes met and Alec’s breath stuttered. Magnus stepped around him quickly, moving to wash his hands.

“Me too,” Alec said, after clearing his throat. “I’m pretty sure I’m the only other person here who knows how to cook — well,” he added when Jace shouted from the living room.

“Shut up!” Jace called. “I can totally cook.”

“Then get in here, blondie,” Magnus called.

***

 “Are you kidding?” Simon shouted from the living room. “Why are we even arguing over this?”

Magnus snorted when Alec leaned in next to him where he was putting the salad together, whispering, “I was wondering the same thing.”

“There’s no question about it, Michael Keaton is the best Batman!” Simon finished.

Jace snorted. “No way,” he said, throwing down the towel he was using to dry his hands and striding into the living room. “Christian Bale, hands down.”

Magnus never would’ve guessed the blond had ever even watched a comic book movie; clearly, he would’ve been wrong.

“I agree with Jace,” Clary said, as Simon opened his mouth to continue arguing.

Simon glared at her. “Because you think he’s hot,” he accused.

Clary shrugged. “He also made a great Batman.”

“Agreed,” Magnus said, smirking at the pained look Simon gave him. “On the hot factor.”

Simon groaned. “Alec,” he said, turning pleading eyes on him. “Please, save me.”

Alec snorted. “Why are you looking at me?”

“Because I know Isabelle will kick me while I’m down,” Simon replied.

Isabelle laughed, standing and throwing an arm around Simon’s neck. “Actually, I agree with you,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek and making Simon’s face turn red.

“Oh…well…” Simon said, clearing his throat. “That’s— you have good taste,” he stuttered.

Alec chuckled, somewhere behind Magnus. “You’re all wrong,” he said. “Will Arnett is the best.”

“Who?” Simon asked, head whipping around.

“From the Lego Movie,” Alec said.

Magnus snorted, shaking his head as he watched Simon’s eyes narrow, the boy clearly working to come up with an argument.

Magnus turned to check the chicken, bumping into Alec’s chest which, by the way, felt like a fucking wall when you bumped into it. Magnus glared at Alec’s chest like it’d personally offended him.

Looking up, he narrowed his eyes further at the small, playful grin on Alec’s face.

“God, you’re like obnoxiously tall, have I ever told you that? I feel like you’re taking up half the room. Every time I turn around, there you are,” Magnus exclaimed, throwing his hands up and shaking his head.

Alec smirked. Reaching out, he grabbed Magnus’ arms, moving him to switch their positions. “I’m sorry?” he offered.

Magnus’ heart stuttered in his chest. God, he loved being manhandled by Alec. He was pathetic.

Scoffing, he turned away from Alec. “You’re not forgiven. Check the vegetables please.”

***

Magnus was adorable, Alec realized suddenly, when he started yelling about how tall Alec was. The thought didn’t leave him all night. Now that Alec had admitted to himself that he…he had real feelings for Magnus, that he wanted Magnus, he was noticing all these things. The way Magnus made him feel. All these little quirks Magnus had. How Alec’s skin was set on fire when they touched, how his smile made Alec’s heart race. How much he loved hearing his laugh; how he wanted to spend days just trying to make Magnus laugh.

God, how had he hidden this from himself for so long? He was an idiot. Worse, he was an idiot who’d turned down the man he was…infatuated with.

Alec kind of felt like knocking his head against the wall when he realized that.

They ate dinner in the living room and Alec forced himself not to stare at Magnus the whole time like some creeper because at some point he knew his self-control would snap and he’d do something stupid, like kiss Magnus.

After an hour spent arguing, they all settled in to watch a movie. Someone could’ve offered Alec a million dollars to name what movie they watched or what it was about but he’d have no clue because he spent half the movie watching Magnus out of the corner of his eyes as they both leaned back against the couch and the other half staring blankly at the screen, overly aware of every inch between them. He didn’t feel like he’d missed much, in the end.

***

Magnus was overly aware of Alec all night, more so than usual after his whole “I’m going to make it up to you” thing. Magnus tried not to think about it too much, tried not to over analyze everything Alec did which was easy because he didn’t do much. But still… It had him on edge all night and not in a good way. It was beginning to drive him insane actually; Magnus couldn’t even pay attention during the movie because Alec was right there.

Finally, it was a respectable hour to escape and Magnus took the first chance.

“Aw, you’re leaving already,” Clary said, on her way to being drunk off the expensive wine Magnus had given her.

Magnus laughed, shaking his head at her sadly as he pulled his jacket on. “Sorry, Biscuit, it’s been lovely but I have someone waiting for me at home.”

Magnus practically felt Alec freeze across the room. Magnus bit back a smile as he felt everyone in the room turn to look at him.

“Chairman Meow,” he added, raising an eyebrow. “My cat? He gets lonely.”

Magnus hugged Clary, stifling a groan against her shoulder when he heard Alec saying, “I think I’m gonna head out too.”

Clary pulled back from Magnus, frowning. “You okay?” she asked, voice low and full of concern.

Magnus gave her a small smile, nodding. “Of course,” he said, kissing her cheek before waving to the others.

Magnus tried to leave fast enough but Alec was still right behind him out the door. Damnit, Magnus thought. Alec was being…confusing. And Magnus was too weak.

They took the stairs together, silent but not overly awkward despite the tension in the air. Magnus watched Alec from the corner of his eyes, there was a small smile on his face. What was Alec thinking? Magnus wondered. What did he mean by all this?

“So,” Alec said, once they were out on the street. “We’re doing game night, tomorrow. You should come.”

Magnus stopped, turning to Alec slowly. He raised his eyebrows. “Game night?”

Alec shuffled on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck adorably. “Yeah,” he said. “You know? Board games? Pizza? Simon inevitably having a mental breakdown at some point. We do it once a month. You should come. There’s alcohol,” he added.

Magnus swallowed, watching Alec out of the corner of his eye as he walked down the street aways, eyes peeled for a cab. Finally, Magnus turned to face him again. Alec stood there, under the street light…perfectly normal. Smiling slightly, eyes wide.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at him. “What you doing?” he finally asked, paranoid.

Alec laughed, rolling his eyes. “Nothing,” he said. Magnus squinted at him. “ _Nothing_ , I swear. Just…inviting you to game night.”

Magnus nodded, feeling his heart race as it always did in close proximity to Alec. Just then, Magnus’ cab turned onto the street, coming to a stop before them.

Deciding quickly, Magnus reached out, gripping Alec’s coat and pulling him in close. He closed his eyes as he saw Alec smile, bringing their lips together and moving his arms around Alec’s neck, holding him close.

Their lips brushed, mouths opened for tongues to dance. Magnus’ racing heart calmed, his whole body relaxing into the kiss.

Magnus pulled back as Alec’s arms wrapped around him. Leaving his eyes closed for just a second longer, reveling in the way his heart pounded and blood surged. God, he’d never get over Alec when kissing him still made him feel so much.

“What are you doing?” Alec whispered when Magnus pulled back.

Opening his eyes, Magnus grinned. “Nothing,” he said, letting go of Alec and turning to his cab. He opened the door, glancing back before sliding in. “See you tomorrow night.”

***

This was going well, Alec thought, walking to the subway. He couldn’t fight the grin on his face, or the victorious feeling in his chest. All because of one little kiss.

***

Magnus had no idea what Alec thought he was doing but…but he wanted to see what happened. He just…wouldn’t get his hopes up. Maybe Alec just wanted to be friends. Maybe that was how he was going to “make things up” to Magnus. Maybe he was going to give Magnus money. Or maybe he was just making sure Magnus was okay.

Or maybe, Magnus thought lying in bed that night, maybe it was something more…

Either way. He really needed to stop kissing him. It made it hard to think.

***

“Earth to Alec.”

Alec blinked, shaking his head as Lydia waved her hand in front of his face. “Are you there?” Lydia teased, rolling her eyes.

Alec waved her hand away, straightening in his seat. “What?” he asked. “I mean, yeah.”

Lydia laughed, sipping her tea. “You clearly aren’t here, with your best friend who you haven’t seen in weeks,” she said, sighing. “So where are you?”

Alec cleared his throat, staring down into his coffee. They were at a little coffee shop near campus, a spot they’d spent hours in, studying, caffeinating. Lydia had been in London the last few weeks, visiting her fiancé’s family. They were supposed to be catching up and agonizing over the last bit of wait to find out if they were really lawyers.

“Sorry,” Alec said, rubbing a hand over his face. “My mind’s…all over the place today,” he admitted. Really it was just in one place, it just happened to be a very distracting place.

Lydia shrugged. “It’s okay, as long as you tell me what has you so distracted.”

Magnus immediately popped into Alec’s head, a smile crossing his face. He dismissed it quickly but Lydia was already sitting up straighter, eyes narrowed. “What was that?” she asked.

Alec shrugged. “Nothing. Hey, we’re having game night tonight, you want to come?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

Lydia smirked. “Sure. I know that look, I’m going to have to go to your sister to find out what’s going on in your life. Whatever, I get it, I guess we just aren’t as close anymore.”

“Shut up,” Alec said, rolling his eyes and getting to his feet. “Shall we browse the bookstore?” he offered, knowing it would immediately turn her mind away from questioning him.

Lydia grinned. “Of course, but don’t think I’ve forgotten. You can’t keep me from Isabelle all night and you’ve already invited me.”

Alec closed his eyes, shaking his head. Just what he needed, another person meddling in his life. Actually, Alec thought grimly, he might really need that.

***

“You’re turning down spending a night watching crappy television and eating ice cream…why?” Raphael questioned.

Magnus sighed, resting his head on his arm. Of course Raphael had decided to come over today of all days. It wasn’t like he could answer this honestly, if he told Raphael ‘because I want to see what Alec thinks he’s doing, because I’m stupid and part of me is still hoping he’ll wake up and realize we have something real that’s more than just meaningless sex because it has to be, doesn’t it? With everything that’s happened. It’s not just in my head, right? I mean he rented us a hotel room for the weekend and he called me amazing and’ — Magnus shook his head.

Sighing, he told Raphael everything he was thinking. As he talked, Raphael’s expression grew stonier.

“And then, he said he was going to make everything up to me and he invited me to this game night and now I’m…confused,” Magnus admitted, turning to place the bowl of milk he’d just poured down for Chairman Meow.

He looked up again to find Raphael with the same stony expression Magnus had seen on his face countless times. This was almost always followed by a long lecture Magnus only half paid attention too. Raphael surprised Magnus this time. “Okay. Let’s go,” he said.

“Let’s…go?” Magnus repeated, frowning.

“To the game night,” Raphael said.

“You…want to come?” Magnus asked.

Raphael rolled his eyes. “Speak normally. Yes. Obviously. I will go and make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

Magnus frowned but couldn’t come up with any reason not to. He shrugged. “Let’s go.”

***

Alec glanced up as Magnus came in, forcing memories of basically every other time Magnus had been in his apartment from his mind. A grin spread across his face before he could stop it. Luckily, it was stopped in place a second later as someone else stepped in behind Magnus; Raphael.

Alec looked back down to where he was pouring drinks, swallowing the worry suddenly tying his stomach in knots. He was trying to prove to Magnus he could be more than an asshole — okay, he hadn’t done much but he was working up to that — and that would be much harder with Magnus’ best friend, someone who already hated Alec, around.

Simon came out of the bathroom then, yipping as his eyes landed on Raphael who smirked. Simon regained composure — however little he had — quickly, glaring at Raphael. “What’s he doing here?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I invited him,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind,” he added, glancing at Alec. “Raphael and I have a standing crappy tv date.”

“Which one of us has been canceling for months now,” Raphael said under his breath but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“It’s fine,” Alec said, forcing a small smile.

“The more the merrier,” Isabelle said, throwing an arm around Alec. “You get to meet Alec’s best friend too,” she said.

Alec shot his sister a death glare but Izzy pretended not to notice, taking one of the drinks he poured and moving over to browse the game shelf with Simon.

Magnus moved into the kitchen slowly as Raphael carefully eyed Alec’s bookshelves. “Best friend?” Magnus asked, smiling crookedly but something was off. Alec looked closely but he couldn’t figure out what it was. Magnus seemed to be watching him closely though. “And here I was, thinking Sampson was your best friend.”

Alec rolled his eyes, handing Magnus a drink. “Hardly,” he said.

“So who is this mystery person?” Magnus asked, sniffing the drink before taking an experimental drink. “And is bartender your backup career?”

Alec snorted. “Hardly. Clearly—”

“Clearly his backup career is hand model or, he once told me, he has plans to become a library. Not a librarian, a library.”

Alec groaned, hanging his head as Lydia appeared next to them suddenly, a bag of ice in hand.

Magnus laughed. “Wow. I had no idea you had such high aspirations in life, Alexander.”

Alec’s head perked up at the use of his full name and he knew Lydia noticed both Alec’s reaction and the use of his name. He could feel her eyes narrowing in on him.

“Magnus,” Alec said, sighing. “This is Lydia. Sadly, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers.”

“The best friend,” Magnus grinned, holding his hand out.

Lydia took it with a small smile. “That would be me, but technically we’ve known each other since we could walk because I assume you were in diapers before then,” she said, bumping Alec’s shoulder.

“We’ve also been in competition since then,” Alec said, rolling his eyes.

Magnus watched him for a minute and Alec realized he had no hope of keeping this from Lydia. She knew him too well. The second he’d looked at Magnus, she knew.

Sure enough, as Simon called everyone into the living room to pick teams, Lydia turned to Alec with a knowing smirk. “I think I know what you were thinking about earlier,” she teased.

Alec groaned but didn’t deny it. What was there to deny? Even now his gaze was dragged to Magnus and he knew the awful pining he felt would be clear as day on his face.

***

Magnus had a new favorite thing; trying to make Alec blush while playing Cards Against Humanity. After an intense game of Risk that nearly ended in Raphael tearing off Simon’s head, they’d moved onto a safer game and Magnus quickly learned that the right combinations of cards could get the most delicious reactions from Alec.

He was trying to hold back, not stare at Alec. Not feel the pulling in his gut. He’d only just gotten his heart back and locked it away firmly…he wouldn’t hand it back over after a few fun nights that probably didn’t mean anything. At least that’s what he told himself. He couldn’t keep giving up his heart, it was too painful.

But Alec kept staring at him. He didn’t even bother looking away when Magnus caught him and…and that electricity, that chemistry was clearly still there. But…Alec was holding himself back. Alec was acting…strange and it was confusing. What was he doing? What was this supposed to mean?

Magnus forced his thoughts away, working to one up Alec at every chance during the game.

A rather unexpected part of the night was Lydia, who turned out to be filled with funny stories regarding Alec. With Isabelle and Jace’s help she didn’t hesitate in spilling everything.

***

“Oh my god, stop,” Alec groaned as Lydia started in on another story about him and his love affair with the librarian freshman year. “Yes, I love libraries. Yes, there was a cute librarian, he wasn’t even a librarian, he just volunteered. But yes, I attempted flirting with him by way of literary references he didn’t get but it’s not that funny.”

Magnus was laying on the floor, giggling, Izzy not far behind. Raphael stared at him impassively as Simon and Clary chuckled. Lydia watched it all happily and Jace was passed out on the couch, completely unaware. Apparently they didn’t agree about the level of humor.

Alec sighed, pushing to his feet. He grabbed an armful of empty glasses, moving to the kitchen to clean up. Alec rinsed the glasses, sticking them in the dishwasher when Magnus suddenly slid up beside him.

“You should’ve mentioned the librarian kink,” he teased, voice low and flirty, making Alec’s blood start rushing. “I would’ve role played for you.”

Alec’s head whipped around so fast, eyes narrowing, it almost hurt. Magnus winked, grinning widely. He set down the rest of the cups before moving back to the living room.

Alec hung his head, groaning quietly.

He quickly finished rinsing the dishes, turning on the coffeepot before returning to the living room as Simon picked out a movie. Settling himself on the arm chair — where, his mind helpfully supplied the memories of Magnus sitting in his lap more than once — Alec tried not to stare at Magnus. It didn’t work well.

All night it was building in his chest, for weeks really. He…he missed Magnus. Even while in the same room. He missed being able to touch Magnus. Falling asleep next to him. He wanted…he wanted to be able to do that whenever he wanted. He wanted to make it up to him. But how?

Alec was never happier than he was the months spent with Magnus, was it ever just hooking up? How hadn’t he seen this then?

Alec’s phone buzzed suddenly and he pulled it out of his pocket only to find a text from Lydia. Eyeing her where she sat on the couch, Alec frowned.

He pulled the message up and his heart stopped. _Why didn’t you tell me you were in love, Alec?_ The message read.

Alec swallowed, slipping the phone away without replying. Was he that obvious?

***

“He’s infatuated with you, it’s quite disgusting.”

Magnus glanced up from his desk to find Raphael in his doorway, staring down at his nails like he was checking for dirt.

“What?” Magnus asked, frowning as he turned back to the applications he was going over.

“Your boy toy,” Raphael said, crossing Magnus’ office to round the desk and read over his shoulder. “He’s infatuated with you.”

Magnus scoffed even though it was suddenly harder to breathe. “What are you talking about?” he demanded.

Raphael sighed, rolling his eyes like all these questions were a great burden he didn’t have time to handle. “I suffered for hours last night to help you figure out what the boy toy was doing, can you at least pretend you know what I’m talking about?”

Magnus pegged Raphael with a look, narrowing his eyes at him. “If you’d make any kind of sense I could, yes.”

Raphael sighed again, moving back to the door. “He’s in love with you. You’re in love with him. It will probably end in disaster.”

Magnus opened his mouth to reply, heart skipping wildly in his chest, but Raphael was already gone.

Magnus turned back to his computer, mind spinning. Alec…Alec didn’t love him… Did he? Magnus shook his head roughly. No, he said, dismissing the thought as his chest tightened. Magnus…Magnus wanted Alec to love him but…but he didn’t. No. Raphael was being ridiculous.

***

Alec had no idea what to do. He finally knew what he wanted but how was he going to get it? Sure, he could just tell Magnus but…but after everything he’d done, he didn’t want Magnus to doubt it for a second when he finally said it. He wanted Magnus, but he didn’t deserve him yet.

Maybe Alec had watched too many rom coms with Isabelle but he wanted this to be perfect. They’d skipped every important step along the way, starting how they did and Alec wouldn’t change that for the world but now it was time to slow down.

“Woo him, Alec, woo him,” Isabelle had said. So…well, Alec was trying but how did one woo Magnus Bane?

***

“No, I need them here tomorrow, not next week,” Magnus repeated, pacing back and forth in his office. “I’m hanging up now, if I don’t have them tomorrow, Bane Co. will never do work with you again. Thank you.”

Magnus hung up before the poor confused assistant he was talking to could come up with another excuse, rubbing his forehead to ward off the impending headache he felt coming.

“Is it a bad time?”

Magnus turned around at the familiar voice, smirking. “For you, darling? Never.”

Isabelle grinned. “I figured,” she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Lunch?” she asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes, already moving to grab his coat. “Are you using me to escape the morgue again?” he asked, feigning hurt.

Isabelle gasped. “I would _never_. Do I really need a reason to visit you? If I do it’s because I’m dying for you to tell me where you buy your shoes,” she said, talking fast.

Magnus laughed. “I’m not sure we know each other well enough for me to divulge all my secrets,” he said, locking arms with Izzy as she turned puppy dog eyes on him.

“Sherwin,” Magnus called, leading Isabelle back through the office, to the elevator. “Hold my calls.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Simon called, flushing when Isabelle turned to wink at him.

“You’re going to give the poor boy a heart attack,” Magnus said, laughing fondly as they stepped into the elevator.

Isabelle beamed. “I know, right?”

They walked down to a small cafe Magnus frequented. Magnus did his best not to let his mind wander during lunch but it was hard not to think about Alec when faced with his sister.

“Just ask,” Isabelle said after they’d finished eating, stirring her tea and staring at Magnus from under her long lashes.

Magnus looked down at his own drink, raising a curious eyebrow. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

Isabelle scoffed. “Are you serious? I can practically hear you thinking about him,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t mind, really. Just ask.”

Magnus sighed, hanging his head in shame. “Fine,” he said. “What is it Alec’s doing?”

Isabelle sat up straight, shrugging. There was a teasing smile on her lips as she said, “I have no idea.”

Magnus perked up, glaring. “Why’d you tell me to ask if you weren’t going to tell me?” he demanded. “I know you know,” he added.

Isabelle shrugged again, a lazy lift and fall of her shoulders. “I can’t tell you,” she said firmly. “Just…” she frowned, considering him.

Magnus met her gaze full on, waiting. He just…he needed to know if he should have hope. Because he did. He didn’t want too. He wanted to cut Alec off fully and move on but…but if there was a chance…

“Do you love him?” Isabelle asked suddenly.

Magnus’ heart stopped, eyes widening. He choked on nothing but air, sipping his drink as his mouth went dry.

Isabelle watched all this, amusement dancing in her eyes.

When Magnus could breathe again, heart pounding along slowly, he cleared his throat. He thought about lying, but what was the point?

“Do you?” Isabelle repeated, voice softer, eyes searching Magnus’.

“Of course,” Magnus said, then sighed. “Stupidly.”

Isabelle nodded. “Good. That’s all I needed to know.”

***

For Halloween Isabelle insisted everyone dress up as superheroes and go bar hopping. Alec had refused, adamantly. Until Isabelle told him she’d invited Magnus. So Alec went, of course, but he drew the line at dressing up.

“You’re so boring, Alexander,” a voice purred from behind him. They’d agreed to meet outside Clary and Jace’s before tackling the bars and clubs. Alec turned around slowly, heart pounding. “Don’t you ever get tired of those ugly sweaters and that leather jacket?”

Alec had a retort ready but when he saw Magnus it left him just like every other thought in his mind. Magnus was dressed all in tight black leather, even down to his boots. A hood over his glittery hair with two points, and dark makeup around his eyes.

“I’m Batman,” Magnus said, smirking. “Slutty Batman.”

Alec swallowed, nodding because he couldn’t quite form words yet.

“You like?” Magnus asked, stepping close.

Before Alec could reply, Isabelle clapped her hands, pulling everyone’s attention to her. She was dressed as Wonder Woman, even carrying a whip that Alec knew from painful experience she knew how to use as a weapon.

“Everyone’s here,” Isabelle said, winding the whip around her arm. “Time to go.”

***

It never mattered how long it’d been since Magnus saw Alec — a day, a week, a month — he forgot how to breath every time when their eyes first locked. He forgot the pull towards him that only got stronger when they were close.

Magnus really should’ve known better than to drink when around Alec. He already barely had any self-control, add three bars and a loud club to the mix and Magnus definitely couldn’t trust himself. Luckily, he’d thought ahead and ordered Simon not to let him go home with Alec or vise versa.

Upon consideration, Magnus was actually very glad Alec didn’t dress up, with the right costume Magnus would have no hope at all of restraining himself.

They were in the middle of a crowded club full of sexy nurses and slutty vampires, when Alec stepped up next to Magnus. Magnus was just throwing back a shot and nearly choked on it when Alec rested his hand on his back, sliding it down to the small of Magnus’ back and sending a shiver up his spine.

“Want to dance?” Alec asked, leaning in close so Magnus could hear him.

Magnus hesitated, looking around for Simon. It was just a dance though…he did have _some_ self-control. He could handle a dance.

Magnus nodded, taking Alec’s outstretched hand.

***

Dancing might not have been the best idea, Alec quickly realized. It was hard to concentrate with the lights down low and Magnus pressed close, their eyes locked. They were barely dancing by the third song. The club was hot and filled with too many people, Alec told himself that was why he couldn’t breathe, reminding himself that he was taking things slow. Winning Magnus back.

He took a deep, ragged breath, pulling away from Magnus and nodding towards the bar, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. But Magnus grabbed his hand, pulling him back close.

Frowning, Alec searched Magnus’ face. He felt Magnus take in a deep breath, shaking his head. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, leaning in close to talk. “Not yet,” he said.

Alec swallowed dryly. He nodded. God, he was weak when it came to Magnus Bane.

***

“So, are you going to tell me what it is you’re doing or…?” Magnus asked, casually sitting across Alec’s lap as they all returned to Jace and Clary’s after the last bar was a disappointment.

Magnus looped an arm around Alec’s neck so he wouldn’t fall off the armchair, sitting sideways across Alec’s lap. Really, he was only sitting there because all the other seats were taken, it was perfectly reasonable. And Alec was warm and comfy, sue him.

Magnus smirked when he felt Alec’s breath stutter as he leaned close.

“What am I doing?” Alec asked, clearing his throat and carefully moving a hand behind Magnus’ back to grip his hip, so he wouldn’t fall.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. “Don’t play dumb,” he said. He’d had just enough to drink to dull his inhibitions, not that he normally had many anyway.

Alec glanced away, looking past Magnus.

“Who wants coffee?” Clary asked from the kitchen.

Alec opened his mouth but Magnus covered it with his hand before he could get more than “I’ll help—” out, muffling the sound of his voice. Magnus smirked while Alec glared at him. “You can’t escape that easily, Alexander,” Magnus said, shaking his head sadly.

Underneath his drunk exterior and his swirling thoughts, Magnus just…really needed to know what Alec thought he was doing. If it was some kind of game… Magnus swallowed dryly, he couldn’t deal with that.

Alec carefully pushed Magnus’ hand away, meeting his eyes and holding his gaze. “I told you,” he said softly. “I’m making things up to you.”

Magnus closed his eyes, groaning. “But what does that mean?”

***

Alec’s heart was galloping restlessly through his chest. He hadn’t drank much, clearly not enough to have Magnus sitting in his lap, giving him puppy dog eyes. Alec glanced away, telling himself to stay strong.

He should tell Magnus, right? But what? That he was a tool and trying to make up for it? Somehow, he hadn’t planned for the explaining things stage. Honestly, he was kind of just winging this.

Alec froze as Magnus moved his free hand to Alec’s chin, tilting his head up. “What—” Alec started to say when Magnus leaned forward, slowly bringing their lips together. Alec’s head emptied quickly, his hand tightening on Magnus’ hip as his eyes closed, his other hand moving to Magnus’ back to bring him closer.

Alec jumped head first into the kiss, losing himself to Magnus’ soft lips and the fire that quickly spread through his body, forgetting entirely that there were in fact other people in the room.

Alec slipped his tongue inside Magnus’ mouth only to have Magnus pull back suddenly, grinning cheekily when Alec made a whining noise, trying to follow his lips. Alec glared at him, clearing his throat as his heart returned to a normal rate.

“You’ve got to stop doing that,” he groaned, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

Magnus ran his hand down Alec’s chest, just lightly touching him and sending a shiver through his body. “Why?” he asked softly.

Alec opened his eyes to see Magnus blinking up at him, pouting. Alec groaned again, squeezing his eyes closed. “You’re making it very hard to keep focused on the plan,” he said.

Magnus straightened up on his lap, hand freezing on Alec’s chest. “Plan?”

***

Magnus studied Alec carefully as his mind spun. “What plan?” he asked, keeping his voice just on this side of curious, not as frantic as his beating heart.

Isabelle passed behind Magnus then, answering in a teasing voice. “The ‘be worthy of Magnus Bane’ plan,” she said, then paused, tilting her head to the side. “Also known as the ‘win Magnus back’ plan or the ‘make Alec stop being an idiot’ plan. I named it,” she said, winking as she moved to the kitchen.

Magnus swallowed as his heart leapt for freedom, attempting to climb out of his chest. He couldn’t think, frozen in place. “The…win Magnus back, plan?” he asked hoarsely. Isabelle was just teasing, clearly. But…but—

Alec’s eyes flickered open, stopping Magnus’ heart again, filled with worry and…nervous hope. Alec licked his lips, resting his hand on Magnus’ leg. He shrugged. “We’re still working on the name,” he said.

Magnus just nodded, stunned. Alec was…Alec was trying to win him back? When had he ever lost Magnus?

“He’s wooing you!” Isabelle called from the kitchen, clearly reading the confusion on Magnus’ face, even from so far away.

Wooing? Magnus thought, he’d never been wooed before. That was what this all was?

It was too late and he’d had too much to drink to fully process this. Clearing his throat, he smirked down at Alec. “I like the sound of that,” he said, climbing off Alec’s lap.

Alec reached out for him, trying to pull him back, but Magnus shook his head. “I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your plan,” he teased.

***

Alec walked Magnus out, hailing a cab for him. He was having a hard time breathing, thinking. What was Magnus thinking? He hadn’t laughed or said that was stupid or told Alec not too so…that was a good sign, right?

Waiting outside Clary’s building, Magnus turned to Alec, looking him up and down slowly. Finally, he said, “I’ve never been wooed before.”

Alec swallowed, cursing the foggy night for making it harder than ever to see Magnus’ eyes under the hood he still had up. “I’ve never wooed anyone before,” he admitted.

Magnus just nodded, opening the door to the cab. “I guess this is new for both of this then,” he said, offering a small smile before slipping into the cab.

Alec stayed there, watching the cab disappear down the street. He felt…calm. His heart wasn’t racing out of control. He was breathing normally. Because…because this was a really good sign, he thought, holding back a grin. This was going to work.

***

“He’s wooing me,” Magnus said. He sat on his bed the next morning, legs crossed under him, staring at Chairman Meow who watched him back. “That means…what? He wants a relationship? Now? After everything else?”

Chairman Meow winked.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m being stupid?” Magnus asked. “I should just…what, ignore him? I mean…what’s to say this is going to be any different? What if to him wooing just means an end game of no strings attached sex again? What if he doesn’t mean it? I mean…does he even know what he’s talking about? Why would he have changed his mind all of a sudden?”

Chairman Meow inclined his head.

“True, I suppose he could just be an idiot who finally came to his senses but…how do I _know?_ ” Magnus groaned, flopping back on the pillows and covering his head. “What if he changes his mind? What if…say he does think he wants a relationship? But what if what he really wants is just…sex and he realizes that and…and I’m left heartbroken again.”

Magnus’ voice trailed off in the empty room. He had no idea what to do or what to think concerning Alec.

Magnus grunted when Chairman Meow suddenly jumped on his stomach. Opening his eyes, he found the cat cleaning his paw while eyeing Magnus. “You’re right,” he said. “There’s only one thing to do, see what happens and guard my heart.”

Magnus could fake bravado all he wanted but his heart hadn’t stopped racing since the night before, and the whole time it was beating out a rhythm of hope. Who was he kidding? He stood no chance. He’d fall for Alec all over again — if it was even possible to fall any further — and…and he’d just have to hope Alec did the same this time.

Magnus was late for work after talking to Chairman Meow for a while longer, trying to make sense of his thoughts.

***

Alec left the gym around mid-day, telling Jace he’d be back in time for his next class. He checked his watch, if Simon’s intel could be trusted, he’d have just enough time.

***

Magnus groaned. Grabbing the layouts he was looking at, he stomped out of his office, across the building and into his head photo journalist’s office. He threw the layouts at her and stomped back out.

“Um, Magnus, everything alright?” Simon asked as Magnus stomped past him.

“Nope. This building is full of imbeciles who can’t do their jobs,” he said.

Simon stood up, blocking Magnus from his office. “Oh, by the way, there’s someone—”

Magnus held his hand up, cutting Simon off with a pointed glare. Simon shut his mouth, stepping to the side.

“Thank you,” Magnus said, continuing into his office, mumbling to himself. “I should just fire them all, do everything myself,” he said, because it wasn’t like he was trying to get the shelter project off the ground or anything. And he didn’t need sleep, did he? He was already doing half the jobs himself anyway. Why had he decided to build a media empire again? Oh, yeah, he made a fabulous emperor.

Magnus didn’t look up, blindly heading to his desk until he ran into something — or someone.

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asked, freezing just an inch or so from Alec. He hadn’t been expecting to see him so soon.

Alec offered a crooked smile. “I thought we could get lunch,” he said. “My treat.”

Magnus frowned suspiciously. He glanced at his desk, still piled with work he needed to get through before the board meeting. He glanced up at Alec who had that small, hopeful smile on his face again.

Magnus licked his lips, nodding slowly. “Sounds…fun,” he said wearily.

***

It was amusing, just a little, how suspicious Magnus seemed of him suddenly. Of course, it wasn’t too amusing because Alec had done that. Alec had fucked up so badly, so many times that now that he was trying to make it right, of course Magnus wasn’t sure if he could trust it, trust him.

Alec swallowed his worry and the lump in his throat because that was the point of this. To prove to Magnus that he could be trusted, that he meant it.

***

Magnus kept his mind focused only on lunch, trying hard not to over analyze everything. They went to the same cafe Magnus had taken Isabelle too, sitting in a quiet back corner. Magnus studied Alec as he looked over the menu. Magnus’ heart beat steady but every few minutes it stuttered like it remembered what Alec had said the night before.

They ordered and Magnus focused on breathing, trying to act casual but…but they’d never had lunch together like this before. Was it a date? Just…a casual thing between friends?

Alec asked about the shelter and Magnus jumped on the topic, exhausting it before they fell back into a slightly awkward silence.

Finally, when nothing was left on his plate but a few fries, Magnus couldn’t take it anymore. “Why are you wooing me?” he asked.

Alec looked up slowly, wiping his hands on his napkin. He frowned. “Because I want too,” he smirked.

Magnus rolled his eyes, folding his hands in his lap. “Fine,” he said, glaring. “What does this wooing entail, then?”

***

Alec tried to hid a grin as Magnus’ eye bored into him. He shrugged, running a finger around the rim of his glass. “What do you want it to entail?” he asked.

Magnus’ eyes narrowed further but he pursed his lips, seeming to think. “Pot stickers,” he said finally. “And…surprises. One shouldn’t know all the details of their own wooing.”

Alec met and held Magnus’ gaze, he couldn’t help but grin now. God, he was such a goner. “Potstickers and surprises it is.”

***

Alec’s eyes seemed to hold a promise, that this was real, that he meant this but…but Magnus couldn’t believe it. Not yet. No matter how desperately he wanted too.

He smiled back at Alec because he felt stupidly giddy, but inside he kept the walls around his heart perfectly intact. He would be careful, he told himself. Until he knew for sure that it was real. Careful not to fall into Alec’s eyes and lose himself all over again. If this was real, then…then good. But it would take time. He wouldn’t leap blindly again. No matter how desperate he was to do just that.

Alec walked him back to Bane Co. pausing right outside. Magnus watched him closely, biting his tongue on a smile when Alec brushed a bit of hair from Magnus’ eyes.

“I’ll see you later, for more wooing,” he said, grabbing Magnus’ hand and squeezing it quickly before walking away.

Magnus shook his head, rolling his eyes as Alec walked backward, eyes still locked on Magnus. “You’re going to fall over,” he said.

Alec grinned. “What? The view’s too good, it’s hard to look away.”

Scoffing, Magnus turned away. “You’re ridiculous,” he called over his shoulder.

***

Alec couldn’t stop grinning, he knew he had to look like an idiot through his last class of the day but he didn’t even care. He thought about waiting a night or two before going to Magnus again but…but he really didn’t want to wait. He didn’t think he could. He’d spend all day every day wooing Magnus if he could. To see Magnus smile. To try and make him happy.

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Izzy asked, stopping by the gym after her session at the morgue.

Alec bit back a smile. “Shut up.”

“You are so smitten,” Isabelle said, hoisting herself up on the front counter and shaking her head. “I knew it. You know if you’d just listened to me from the beginning this would’ve gone a lot smoother.”

Alec stuck his tongue out at her for lack of a better response. But the truth was, as much as he regretted the bad parts — hurting Magnus — he thought that maybe this was how it had to go for them. Alec had been stupid yes, but he’d needed that time with and without Magnus to realize what he wanted and he hoped… He hoped Magnus felt the same way.

“So, what’s next?” Isabelle asked, sliding off the counter again.

Alec raised his eyebrows, making them dance. “Potstickers.”

“Potstickers?”

“Yup,” Alec grinned.

***

Magnus wasn’t all that surprised when there was a knock on the door that night. He’d gotten home from work late, showered and pulled on more comfortable clothes before pouring himself a glass of wine and getting ready to flip through the stack of fashion magazines he’d been piling up. He’d tried to keep his mind off of Alec so he wouldn’t get his hopes up but the second the knock came, his heartbeat skyrocketed.

Magnus forced himself to take a deep breath, standing slowly and heading to the door. He took another deep breath before opening it.

Magnus shook his head, trying not to smile.

God, he thought, this was not fair. Alec leaned against the doorframe, hands tucked behind his back, the dopiest smile on his face as his eyes locked with Magnus’.

“Hello, beautiful,” Alec said, making Magnus’ heart skip around his chest.

Alec’s face flushed as Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Are you drunk?” he asked, trying to hide how pleased Alec’s greeting made him.

“No,” Alec said, clearing his throat. “Just…happy.”

Magnus twirled one of the rings on his hand, distracting himself so he didn’t say something stupid, like _me too_. Instead, Magnus let a playful smile turn the corners of up mouth up, asking, “What are you doing here?”

Alec’s grin widened if that was even possible, thoroughly stealing Magnus’ breath from him. Alec pulled a bag of Chinese takeaway out from behind his back, offering it to Magnus. “I’ve come to surprise you with dinner, potstickers.”

Magnus rolled his eyes because Alec looked far too pleased with himself. Magnus turned to the kitchen, leaving the door open for Alec to come in.

Setting the bag on the counter, Magnus opened it, laughing. “Really?” he asked, looking up as Alec stopped next to him. There was nothing but potstickers in the bag, an obscene amount of them.

“They’re your favorite,” Alec said.

Magnus laughed, shaking his head because Alec was ridiculous but he _was_ right. Magnus even occasionally did the same, buying nothing but potstickers for dinner. He swallowed as his heart expanded, feeling like it was on the verge of exploding.

“Well, I hope you’re hungry,” he said.

“Starving,” Alec replied without hesitation.

***

“If only you’d brought ice cream,” Magnus said, sighing.

Alec smiled, staring at Magnus who was turned to face him on the couch. Magnus rested his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes.

“Ice cream with potstickers? Really?” Alec asked.

Magnus nodded, smiling dreamily.

“So, what would’ve happened if I’d brought ice cream too?” Alec asked curiously. They were eating on the couch, glasses of wine resting on the coffee table. They’d been talking about everything and nothing and if Alec had to describe a perfect night, he’d pick this one.

Magnus opened his eyes slowly, sitting up straight. He shrugged, stealing a potsticker from Alec’s plate even though he still had some on his. “I guess you’ll never know,” he said, looking wistful.

Alec shrugged, looking away. “I guess not,” he said.

Magnus threw a napkin at him. “Don’t pretend you don’t care, I can see it killing you.”

Alec laughed, shaking his head and denying the urge to lean over and kiss Magnus. He would be the death of himself, holding back from Magnus.

Alec glanced back at Magnus, who’s eyes were already on him, daring him. “It is,” Alec admitted in a low voice. “Killing me. You should take mercy.”

Magnus’ eyes twinkled. “Never.”

“Fine,” Alec said, setting down his plate. “Then no more potstickers,” he said, quickly turning and stealing Magnus’ plate from him.

Magnus gasped. “How dare you.”

Alec grinned, standing up and taking both plates to the kitchen. “Wait!” Magnus called. “Bring them back! I’ll tell you.”

Alec paused. “I’m listening.”

“Well, you see, had you brought ice cream,” Magnus said, voice low, sending shivers down Alec’s back. “I would’ve been just so grateful.”

Alec rolled his eyes, giving in and returning to the couch. “How disappointing,” he said, ducking as Magnus threw a potsticker at him.

***

Magnus forgot to hold himself back. Forgot to analyze everything. Alec brought him potstickers for heaven’s sake. If he wasn’t the living embodiment of everything Magnus wanted in life then nothing was. You know, minus the shattering Magnus’ heart into a million pieces bit. Magnus always forgot that because…because he didn’t blame Alec. Not really. He wasn’t sure he could trust him but…but Alec hadn’t done anything wrong, not really. That’s what made it so hard to hold back.

Magnus forgot everything else, stuffing himself with potstickers, high off Alec.

Alec laughing, teasing. Alec here, with Magnus, just…spending time together.

Magnus swallowed a sudden lump in his throat, looking away from Alec’s eyes. He had no idea what they’d just been talking about which was fine because he was distracted by a sudden yowl.

Magnus jumped up suddenly. “Shit,” he said, moving to the balcony doors.

“What is it?” Alec asked.

“Chairman,” Magnus said, opening the door for a dripping Chairman Meow. When had it started raining?

“Oh, baby,” Magnus muttered, bending down to scoop up the wet cat. He closed the door behind him, turning back to the living room.

Alec had moved to the bathroom, coming back with a towel that he passed to Magnus. Magnus quickly rubbed the Chairman down, setting him on the kitchen table. He did not look happy, Magnus noted.

“I warned you not to go outside today,” Magnus told the cat. “Look, now we’re both wet,” he added, glancing down at his dark green, long sleeved shirt that now had a Chairman Meow outline.

The Chairman huffed, jumping off the table.

“You think you raise them right,” Magnus muttered. “Yet they turn out so ungrateful.”

Alec laughed, sitting back down on the couch.

Magnus glared at him, quickly pulling his wet shirt off. He smirked at the wide eyed look on Alec’s face as he did it. Magnus turned away, moving to the closet to grab a new shirt, making sure to add an extra sway to his hips, knowing his sweat pants hung a little too low.

Magnus heard a small, strangled sound and grinned. Mission accomplished.

***

Magnus reappeared from the bathroom in a new, tight shirt. Alec pulled his eyes away, turning back to Chairman Meow who was laying in his lap.

Magnus paused suddenly, glaring at Alec’s lap.

“What?” Alec asked.

“Chairman doesn’t like anybody,” he said, frowning. “Do you have catnip in your pockets?”

Alec snorted. “I don’t think so. And what do you mean, he seems so sweet?”

“Sweet? Yes. Friendly? No,” Magnus said, still eying the cat as he came to sit next to Alec.

Alec shook his head, trying not to find Magnus’ suspicious look endearing.

***

Magnus was having a silent conversation with Chairman Meow who still sat on Alec’s lap, purring contentedly, when there was another knock on the door. Looking up, Magnus frowned. Before he could move or say anything, Alec was standing up, much to Chairman Meow’s chagrin.

“I’ll get it.”

Magnus’ narrowed eyes tracked Alec to the door — slipping to watch his ass only for a second — as Chairman Meow scurried under the bed.

Alec opened the door and a voice Magnus recognized as Jace’s said, “You owe me”.

Magnus frowned, standing up slowly.

Alec scoffed. “I owe you? Are you kidding, we aren’t even yet. You still owe me.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Jace said. He waved at Magnus over Alec’s shoulder before turning away. “Have fun you two.”

Magnus continued to frown, trying to see what Alec now held in his hand. Alec turned around slowly, smiling widely.

“What?” Magnus asked.

Alec held up a white paper bag, handing it over to Magnus who took it after a moment’s hesitation. Opening it, he peered in to find — “Ice cream,” he said, wonder in his voice. He shook his head. “You had your brother go get me ice cream?”

Alec stepped closer, taking the bag back with a little shrug. “Get _us_ ice cream, yes.”

Magnus looked up at Alec, his eyes were bright with pride, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Magnus wasn’t even surprised by this, not really. He’d always known Alec was endlessly kind and romantic even though he waved that part away like it was nothing. He just…he couldn’t believe Alec was doing all this for him.

They were standing just a foot apart, smiling stupidly at each other. Without thinking, Magnus moved forward to cup Alec’s cheek and kiss him but at the last second Alec pulled back, screwing his eyes shut and shaking his head.

Magnus’ heart plummeted without warning. “What?” Magnus asked, breath shaky.

Alec quickly opened his eyes, moving to grab Magnus’ hand when he saw the look on his face. “I want you to kiss me,” he said quickly. “So bad but…but not yet.”

Magnus frowned, more confused than ever. He shook his head, urging his mind to start working again. They were close enough to share the air they were breathing and for once this helped calm Magnus’ breathing. Alec wasn’t pulling away, he realized, just…hesitating.

Licking his lips, Magnus looked back up at him. “What are we?” he asked. “You and me?” He needed to know, for sure, before he let this go any further.

Alec hesitated, eyes boring into Magnus’. “We’re…friends,” he said. “And I’m wooing you.”

Magnus screwed his eyes shut, shaking his head. Sighing, he asked, “And who decides when I’ve been wooed enough?”

***

Alec’s heart was racing out of control. He wasn’t sure what to say, how to explain it without sounding like a moron. Maybe he _was_ a moron.

Catching Magnus’ hand again, Alec pulled him back to the couch, setting the bag of ice cream on the coffee table. He turned to face Magnus, sitting closer than necessary and not letting go of his hand.

“I…I have a lot to make up for Magnus,” Alec said, looking down and playing with Magnus’ hand. “I just…I want you to know I’m serious, about us. And — and I want you to take your time. Deciding.”

Alec held his breath, looking up again, meeting Magnus’ eyes so he’d know just how serious Alec was.

Magnus still looked confused, biting his lip and shaking his head slightly. “Deciding what?” he asked.

Alec took a deep breath, forcing the words out. “If you want to be with me.”

***

The rest of the night, Magnus’ mind was quiet. They put on a movie, sharing the half gallon of mint chocolate ice cream. Not bothering with bowls, just setting the carton on the couch between them, leaning close while eating it.

The more Magnus thought about it, the faster his heart beat. Alec wanted him, he’d realized suddenly early. Really wanted him. And not just for sex, and not just sometimes. Wanted him so much that he thought he had to win Magnus back. Like Magnus hadn’t been his since day one.

He tried not to think too hard on it, during the movie. It made his pulse race and his chest feel like it was crumbling in on him because…because a lot of crap had happened. And…and Magnus was still terrified, he realized, watching Alec smile at the movie out of the corner of his eyes. Still terrified of getting his heart broken again.

But…they’d take it slow. It wasn’t even anything yet, Magnus told himself. Alec was just…wooing him. That was all. He could handle that. Totally. He could handle Alexander Lightwood slowly wooing him… as long as he didn’t think about being pinned under him. Then it was easy.

Magnus missed most the movie, he really shouldn’t bother trying to pay attention to anything else when Alec was so close. He’d end up burning down the loft or something.

***

It was after midnight when Alec left. He didn’t want to leave but he couldn’t stay any longer either, he knew.

Magnus walked him to the door, neither of them saying anything. They’d already said everything, hadn’t they? Everything that currently needed to be said anyway.

Magnus yawned, opening the door for Alec and Alec wanted nothing more, staring at sleepy eyed Magnus, than to pull him close; than to fall asleep next to him and wake up next to him. The intensity of his feelings came over him then, threatening to overwhelm him but instead of scaring him like before, Alec just…accepted it. Like a fact. The sun rose every day and Alec was hopelessly in love with Magnus. The moon shone at night and Alec was smitten and he didn’t want to change it. And he didn’t want to rush it. He just wanted to…feel it. To earn it.

They stood there staring at each other for Alec didn’t know how long before he realized he had to leave before he lost all self-control and never left again.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch Magnus, pull him close, breath him in.

Magnus smiled crookedly, rolling his eyes. “Get out of here already,” he teased.

Alec shook his head, laughing. He was halfway down the hall when Magnus called out suddenly. “Hey, Alec,” he said.

Alec turned around to see Magnus standing in the doorway, a smirk on his face. “Yeah?”

“I decided a long time ago, you know.”

Alec frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Decided what?” he asked.

“About you,” Magnus said, grinning before shutting the door.

Alec stood there, frozen for a few long minutes, his own heart beat and breathe the only thing he could hear. Finally, he slowly turned around, walking to the stairs and down, out of Magnus’ building. He had that stupid smile on his face again, all the way home.

***

Every day that week, there was something. A surprise for Magnus. It made it really hard to concentrate on work. Tuesday, it was flowers, a giant bouquet that Magnus knew was expensive, delivered to his office along with a takeout bag and another order of potstickers. Magnus had just shaken his head as Simon put the flowers on his desk, burying most his work.

Magnus took a selfie with the flowers behind him and a potsticker halfway too his mouth, sending it to Alec along with another “you’re ridiculous”. Not that he was complaining.

Wednesday, after Magnus had joked he’d prefer just a gift basket of potstickers instead of flowers that would die — he was only half joking because really what was more romantic than receiving flowers? — a picnic basket was dropped off. Magnus opened it, biting back a smile, not at all surprised to find it filled with potstickers.

“You’re going to make me fat,” he said, when Alec picked up the phone.

Alec laughed. “I just don’t want you to starve and you said you wanted to be wooed with potstickers.”

Magnus shook his head, spinning around lazily in his desk chair. “I did say that, didn’t I? Can I add a few things to the list?”

Magnus heard Alec moving around on the other end of the phone, a second later he said, “Sure. Go ahead.”

“Do you have paper? And a pen?” Magnus asked.

Alec laughed again, sending Magnus’ heart racing. He squeezed his eyes shut, squishing down the thought that he wished Alec were there, with him, along with the longing that came with the thought.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

Magnus spent the next hour listing out ridiculous things just to hear Alec laugh. He only got off the phone when Raphael kicked his door in passing. “Your cheeriness is making me sick,” Raphael called over his shoulder.

Magnus hung up a minute later, knowing fully well that he could pass the next few hours listing ridiculous things for Alec.

Thursday, Magnus walked into the office late to find a giant stuffed bear taking up half his office. He laughed, shaking his head and grabbing the card the hung off the bow tied around the bear’s neck.

“What am I even supposed to do with this?” Magnus asked as Simon came into the room, whistling.

“Damn. Who knew Alec was such a romantic?” Simon asked, poking the stuffed bear. “How’d it fit in the elevator?”

Magnus smirked, reading the card. “Alec says that if the west elevator isn’t working, he has no idea what happened.”

Simon laughed. “Seriously? What else did he say?”

Magnus’ eyes lingered on the rest of the card. “He made a list of everything I told him yesterday,” Magnus said, focusing on his breathing. “He says he fully intends on doing it all though I have no idea where he’ll possibly find a unicorn.”

Simon looked at Magnus closely and Magnus cleared his throat, moving around the bear to get to his desk. “Remind me to take notes on how Alec does all this,” Simon said thoughtfully.

“Does all what?” Magnus asked, clearing off his desk.

“Makes you fall in love with him.”

***

Alec’s world narrowed down to Magnus and his plans for wooing him, he still worked at the gym, he had an internship coming up, and the bar results would be in soon but all that seemed insignificant, compared to spending time with Magnus. Compared to making Magnus happy.

Friday night, he sent Magnus the address of a fancy restaurant Isabelle had told him about, adding that he should dress nicely. This one Alec wasn’t completely sure about but…he thought Magnus just might like it.

***

“How did you find this place?” Magnus asked as Alec opened the door to the restaurant. “I didn’t know there was anywhere like this anymore.”

Alec smirked, “I’ll never tell.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Isabelle told you,” he said.

Alec scoffed but nodded sheepishly.

Magnus swallowed, wordlessly following the waiter as he led them to a small, romantically lit table. It was a big, open restaurant. There weren’t many tables and it was loud, a salsa band set up in the corner. The middle of the room was cleared out for a dance floor where couples already twirled around.

Alec had taken him salsa dancing. Magnus shook his head, staring at Alec and trying to stay strong as Alec turned a shit eating grin on him.

“You could try to be a little less proud of yourself,” Magnus said, sitting as Alec moved his chair out for him.

Alec laughed. “What? I’m just really good at this.”

“At what?” Magnus asked, pretending to study the menu.

“Wooing you,” Alec grinned.

Magnus looked up slowly, raising an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t I be the one to determine that?”

Alec leaned forward, over the small table. He was wearing a suit, all black. His hair was still a mess and he had a five o’clock shadow that had been killing Magnus since he first saw him outside the restaurant, but Magnus’ heart did not stutter when Alec leaned forward. Nope. Definitely not.

“How am I doing then?” Alec whispered, barely loud enough for Magnus to hear him.

Magnus swallowed, telling himself he wasn’t swooning as Alec’s eyes reflected the candle light of the dim restaurant. “Depends,” he said, shrugging.

“On?” Alec asked, leaning back as the waiter delivered two giant margaritas.

“On the dancing,” Magnus said, sipping his drink.

Alec smirked. “You can salsa, right?”

Magnus glared. “Are you kidding? I just hope you can keep up.”

***

If Alec weren’t already in so deep, he would’ve fallen all over again spending the night dancing with Magnus. Not club dancing, but real dancing. Suddenly he was grateful for the hours Isabelle spent insisting he and Jace learn to dance with her.

Nothing was better than holding Magnus close all night, laughing and talking between fast dances. Magnus’ eyes shining under the twinkling lights inside the restaurant. Alec had been mildly worried it would be the kind of place that didn’t love to see two men dancing together but they got nothing but applause, twirling around the dance floor. Alec quickly realized Magnus was superior and let him lead, following along behind him, swept up in his smile.

It was a miracle Alec remembered to breathe, honestly.

They only left when exhaustion forced them too and even then, Alec couldn’t imagine the night ending and they walked around for a while. Not even really talking, just…existing. Only a few inches between their bodies.

***

The weekend passed quickly. Saturday, Magnus went shopping with Isabelle and Clary. Saturday night Alec showed up with pizza (and potstickers), ready to binge watch whatever Magnus chose.

Obviously, Magnus picked a crappy reality show he could bitch about all night. Alec got really into it though, defending people Magnus was ridiculing so Magnus finally gave up, moving onto Game of Thrones, which worked well, giving him an excuse to lean into Alec, burying his head against Alec’s shoulder when something thoroughly disgusting happened.

“Why’s there so much blood in this show?” Magnus asked multiple times until Alec finally turned it off.

“I think it’s because they keep stabbing each other,” he said thoughtfully.

Magnus elbowed him in the side, standing up suddenly. “I want pie,” he said, moving to grab a coat.

“Now?” Alec had asked, glancing at the time. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Alexander,” Magnus said, sighing and turning his puppy dog eyes on him. “You’re supposed to be wooing me, are you seriously saying you would deny me pie?”

Alec shook his head but there was a fond smile on his face. “Fine, let’s go.”

Magnus nodded happily. “But please, don’t buy me a million. I’ll never look at potstickers the same again.”

***

“How can you still be eating?” Alec asked, staring at Magnus incredulously. They were at a small diner down the street from Magnus’ apartment, sitting across from each other even though Alec wanted nothing more than to be sitting next to Magnus, sides pressed close. God, he was going insane, being so close to Magnus and not touching. He was getting selfish.

Magnus smirked. “This is what you get for insisting on ordering me four pieces of pie,” he said. “Now you have to watch me eat them all.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t decide,” he said. “But seriously, how are you not fat?”

Magnus smirked, licking his fork slowly, eyes locked on Alec’s. Alec swallowed dryly, rolling his eyes. Once the fork was thoroughly clean, Magnus smiled his sexy smile, the one Alec saw too often when he closed his eyes. “I do yoga,” he said, shrugging. “And…other things. I’m very…stretchy.”

Alec closed his eyes, groaning. “You’re shameless,” he said.

“That too,” Magnus said, grabbing his last piece of pie and starting in. “But don’t say it doesn’t work, have you seen my abs recently?”

Alec rolled his eyes again, biting back the urge to say no, but he’d love too. He focused down on his coffee but he could see Magnus from the corner of his eye, continuing to eat his pie with much more tongue than was required.

It’s official, Alec thought, he’s trying to kill me.

***

They could call it whatever they wanted but it sure felt like they were dating. And…it was everything Magnus had wanted it to be. But… He wasn’t going to complain or anything, it was just getting to be a while since they’d…rolled around on the bed. And spending so much time with Alec made that more apparent than ever.

Magnus loved what they were doing and he didn’t want to rush it or ruin it, he still wasn’t completely sure he could trust Alec with his heart again — or maybe he was fooling himself, he couldn’t tell anymore. But there was no denying that Magnus was seriously starting to crave Alec’s touch. Badly.

“Ugh,” Magnus said, groaning. “I ate too much.”

Alec shook his head, laughing.

“Don’t laugh!” Magnus said, swatting at him.

“I told you that you didn’t need pie.”

Magnus glared over at him. They walked with barely a foot of space between them, something Magnus was overly aware of. He wanted to reach out, grab Alec’s hand, pull him the rest of the way to his apartment and have his way with him. Magnus had had enough wooing, he knew what he wanted. But also… Magnus hid a smile. Okay, sue him, he wanted to see how far Alec took this.

Magnus pouted. “It’s your fault,” he said. “I just wanted one piece of pie. You insisted on more.”

Alec shook his head again. “How could I? I am so sorry,” he said, turning to Magnus and folding his hands under his chin. “Will you ever forgive me?”

Magnus came to a stop as Alec stepped in front of him. Alec was grinning in a way that made Magnus’ heart pound, hands go sweaty. “I guess,” Magnus said, finding it hard to breath suddenly.

“Good,” Alec said in a low voice, letting his hands fall to his sides, shifting closer just a bare inch. Their breath mixed in the air between them and Magnus shivered.

“Are you cold?” Alec asked, eyes moving slowly over Magnus’ face.

Magnus swallowed as his heart slowed to a crawl. He shook his head. “Not really,” he said, shifting closer and resting his hands on Alec.

“Good,” Alec said, licking his lips.

“Good,” Magnus repeated, a smirk teasing the corner of his lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

Alec nodded. Not waiting for Magnus, he leaned forward, hand moving to cup Magnus’ face and bringing their lips together. Magnus moved his hands to Alec’s hips, tugging him closer, opening his mouth to him.

God, Magnus thought, losing himself in Alec. It felt like it’d been months since they kissed. Magnus was desperate for more. For Alec to be closer, so much closer.

Alec deepened the kiss suddenly, making Magnus moan as his hands wandered under Alec’s jacket and shirt, finding warm skin beneath.

The world disappeared around them, the sounds of traffic disappearing until nothing existed beyond the two of them. Removing his hands from under Alec’s shirt, Magnus tangled his hands in Alec’s hair, kissing him thoroughly before slowing down until it was just a careful brush of lips as he slowly pulled back.

Magnus kept his eyes closed, breathing out heavily. He patted Alec’s chest. “Okay, I’m good,” he said, turning away. They were feet from his apartment building but Magnus didn’t invite Alec up, even though he wanted nothing more.

Alec laughed behind him. “Really? Because I’m not.”

Magnus stopped, back turned to Alec, grinning. He debated for a moment, then turned back around, quickly covering the few steps he’d taken, grabbing the front of Alec’s jacket and pulling him close again. Magnus swallowed his laugh, bringing their lips back together.

Magnus’ heart pounded as Alec wrapped his arms around his back, holding him close. In his head, Magnus played back all their previous kisses and couldn’t remember a better one.

When Magnus started to pull back again, Alec followed, moving his hands to Magnus’ face, kissing him slowly and thoroughly. Magnus was helpless against it, kissing Alec back with everything he had until they both broke away, having forgotten to breath.

The tip of Alec’s nose was red from the cold. Magnus grinned at him, shaking his head slowly. “Good now?” he asked, laughing giddily.

Alec shook his head. “No, never,” he said, but he let go of Magnus, taking a small step back like it was all he could force himself to do.

Magnus couldn’t stop grinning, rolling his eyes and taking his own half step back. “I suppose there’ll be more wooing tomorrow?” he asked.

“Unless you’re tired of it,” Alec said, they were both taking small steps back now, one after the other.

“Never,” Magnus said and he’d never meant something so much before.

“Until tomorrow then,” Alec said, stopping as Magnus reached his building.

Magnus just nodded, waving at him, the grin still on his face even as his heart sank the littlest bit. Magnus didn’t know if he could wait that long.

***

Alec wanted nothing more than to spend the whole day alone with Magnus. Unfortunately, Izzy made them promise to come to game night. Which started at noon and didn’t give Alec nearly enough time with just Magnus.

Alec was torn, equal parts sure he could do this forever, woo Magnus. And positive it was going to kill him, holding himself back. When was the dramatic confession of love? Soon hopefully.

Alec managed to hold himself back all night, no mooning over Magnus through charades. No staring at him while he ate. Just…relaxing, having fun. Okay, there was some staring, but nothing else.

At the end of the night, Alec held himself back from offering to walk Magnus out, it’d almost killed him to let Magnus walk away the night before, after that kiss, he didn’t think he was strong enough to do it again.

Instead, he helped Izzy straighten things up, filling her in on the planned wooing as he went. “So, what’s next?” Alec asked once Isabelle was all caught up.

Isabelle shook her head, grinning. “You have to figure that one out big bro.”

“Wait, what?” Alec demanded, following her into the kitchen.

Isabelle smiled, patting Alec’s cheek. “Look, you’ve done great so far. And clearly this is going good, the two of you are practically glowing. Just…figure this one out yourself.”

“But how?” Alec demanded as Isabelle walked away, chuckling to herself.

***

“Fuck,” Magnus cursed, rushing around the loft with only one shoe on. He was late. Normally he didn’t care because hello, Bane Co. Magnus Bane. You can’t have one without the other. But he had things to do today, and he couldn’t be late.

Spotting his reflection in the microwave, Magnus resigned himself to skipping his morning bagel and coffee run, slipping back into the bathroom to fix his hair and finishing applying his makeup. Magnus was skilled in all things (basically) but even he couldn’t rush his eyeliner without fucking up.

“Chairman, feed yourself, daddy loves you,” Magnus called on his way out the door. Magnus took the stairs two at a time coming to an abrupt halt at the bottom as his eyes were automatically drawn to a dark haired man.

“Alec?” Magnus asked, frowning as he pushed out of the building.

Alec stood up straight from where he’d been leaning against a street lamp. He held up a hand that held a cup of coffee and a white pastry bag.

Magnus froze in the middle of the street, all thoughts of being late leaving his head because here was Alec, with exactly what he needed, right when he needed it. “Are you magic?” Magnus finally asked, as Alec stepped toward him.

Alec smiled crookedly. “What are you talking about?” he asked, handing Magnus the bag and one of the coffees he held. Taking the bag, Magnus opened it to find a chocolate chip bagel. Had he ever told Alec his order? Accepting the coffee, Magnus sipped it. Perfectly overly sweet.

Magnus shook his head, looking up at Alec. The morning was cloudy and downcast, the breeze sharp and bitter. “You’re unreal,” Magnus finally said, turning to start walking towards work.

Alec followed, chuckling. “I’m pretty sure I’m real,” he said.

Magnus shook his head, sipping his coffee. “Nope. There’s no way, sorry.”

“Well,” Alec said, grabbing the bag with Magnus’ bagel back from him. “If I’m not real, your bagel isn’t either.”

Magnus glared at him, stopping on the street corner. He looked Alec up and down slowly. Reaching out, he pinched Alec, who yelped, batting his hand away with the bagel bag. Magnus wrinkled his nose, unconvinced. “I guess I’ll have to eat the bagel to find out,” he said, grabbing the bag back. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Alec shrugged. “Bringing you coffee, walking you to work. Wooing you, the normal.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You really are ridiculous, you know? Unreal,” he scoffed.

Magnus’ mind spun because really, how was this real? A month ago, he’d been heart broken, deciding he could no longer be with Alec. Before that, Alec had broken his heart on his birthday. Before that, they’d been nothing but fuck buddies and now… And now Alec was bringing Magnus coffee and a bagel when he was running too late to get his own and…and wooing him.

Magnus swallowed a lump his throat. Part of him couldn’t believe Alec was doing all this for him. Part of him just kept asking why and waiting for the other shoe to fall. And the rest of Magnus… The rest of Magnus knew it was pointless trying to guard his heart because he didn’t have a heart to give anymore. Alec had always had it.

Magnus walked faster but Alec didn’t have any problem keeping up.

***

“Please tell me you aren’t having another bouquet of potstickers delivered? I don’t think my stomach can take it and you know how much I love them,” Magnus said, turning to face Alec as they stopped outside Bane Co.

Alec smiled, shaking his head. “No potstickers today, I swear,” he said, watching Magnus closely.

“Good,” Magnus said. He took a few steps toward the door and Alec didn’t try to stop him even though he desperately wanted too. Magnus hesitated a second and turned back.

Alec stumbled backwards when Magnus marched back to him, lunging forward to kiss him. Alec regained his balance, the hand not currently holding coffee, moving to grip Magnus’ waist. The kiss was fast and messy and then Magnus was gone, waving over his shoulder.

Alec laughed to himself, shaking his head. He would never get to use to Magnus’ out of nowhere kisses. He didn’t want too. He wanted to be constantly surprised by him.

***

“Mr. Bane,” Clary singsonged as soon as Magnus stepped off the elevator. She fell into step with him as he sipped his coffee. “Funny thing, I saw Alec outside, from your balcony.”

Magnus hummed. “Really? Strange.”

Clary nodded, following him into his office. “Yup. Really strange. I wonder why he was here, just right outside.”

Magnus made the mistake of looking over at her, catching her knowing smirk. He couldn’t stop a smile from crossing his face.

“Oh my god,” Clary exclaimed. “Spill already!”

Magnus rolled his eyes, sitting at his desk and pulling out his bagel. “Alec just…walked me to work.”

“And he’s wooing you? How’s the wooing going? What are you guys?” she asked, perching on the edge of his desk and swiping a piece of his bagel.

Magnus glared, swatting at her hand. “We’re…” he hesitated. What were they? “Dating…maybe? Or…we’re friends? I don’t know, biscuit,” he said, but he was still smiling. God damn it, he had to get that under control.

Clary nodded, staring down at him. She stole his coffee, taking a sip to swallow her stolen bagel. She smiled. “Are you happy?”

Magnus didn’t even have to think, nodding right away. “I am,” he said, smiling softly. “I really am.”

“Good,” Clary said. “I’m happy for you.”

Magnus couldn’t stop grinning all day. As an added bonus, it made Raphael uncomfortable during their meetings.

***

Alec danced around the punching bag, striking out here and there, mind spinning. He’d been at it for an hour now because he was driving himself insane. Isabelle was no help and Alec…Alec had no idea what to do now.

He knew he and Magnus needed to talk, he needed to tell Magnus… Tell Magnus he was in love with him. But how? It had to be perfect… Had he wooed him enough? What if Magnus turned him down? What if Magnus thought he couldn’t trust him? What if. What if. What if.

The questions spun around Alec’s mind again and again and again. So he hit the punching bag some more.

***

Every day that week, Alec was downstairs when Magnus left for work. Always with a bagel and coffee, except Wednesday, when it was donut.

“You’re fattening me up, I knew it,” Magnus had teased.

They didn’t see each other besides that but Magnus wasn’t worried. In fact, the opposite, he was just…really happy. He knew it couldn’t last like this, they’d have to talk about it at some point, figure out what they were but…but he was fine just…living right now.

Alec sent flowers, chocolates, and — most memorably — Simon dressed as a unicorn, respectively. Magnus drew the line there, telling Alec to never send anything to the office again or he’d never kiss him again — that was lie and they both knew it. Magnus did, however, make sure to get plenty of pictures of unicorn Simon that he then used to redecorate the whole floor and sent to Isabelle. Magnus was pretty sure that was the most expensive thing Alec had done for him. At least he hoped Simon demanded a lot for the indecency.

Everything was great, until Friday. Magnus tried not to be disappointed when he walked downstairs and Alec wasn’t there, but he was. Unfairly so, after everything Alec had been doing for him but…but he couldn’t help it. It felt like a bad omen, a sign from the universe. Magnus skipped his coffee that day, heading to work at a faster pace than usual.

All day he waited for a call or a text or another stupid delivery but nothing came.

Magnus shook his head, disgusted with himself. Alec did have a life outside of Magnus after all. It was just one day. He was being petty and selfish. He told himself to stop. It didn’t work.

***

It was raining but Alec barely noticed. He’d spent the day freaking out, pacing his living room while waiting. He hadn’t told anyone yet. When he finally found out there was only one person he wanted to tell and he couldn’t do it over the phone. Alec took a cab but the rain was heavy and persistent so he was still soaking wet by the time he got to Magnus’.

Knocking on the door, Alec was shaking and not just from the cold. He had no idea what time it was as he banged on the door, louder than necessary.

Breathing out harshly, Alec paced back and forth, waiting, waiting.

The door opened.

Alec whirled around.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked, frowning. “You’re soaking—” he started, stepping out of the loft.

Alec lunged forward, unable to hold himself back. He wrapped his arms around Magnus picking him up in a hug, and laughing like a maniac.

Magnus squealed and then laughed. “What’s going on?” he asked, voice higher pitched than normal.

Alec’s heart was racing, he was smiling so wide it actually hurt as he set Magnus back down. “You’re wet,” Magnus complained, then he glanced at himself, his shimmery red top clinging to his stomach. “I’m wet.”

Alec laughed, giddy. He hadn’t let go of Magnus yet, his hands still on Magnus’ hips and now he stepped forward closer. Magnus looked up at him, eyes wide and questioning. Alec screwed his eyes shut, breathing Magnus in for a minute, concentrating on the feeling of Magnus right there, letting the words he was about to say circle his mind.

Finally, he opened his eyes again, grinning widely. “I passed the bar,” he said.

“You,” Magnus said then froze, eyes going wider. “You passed the bar? You passed the bar!” he said, throwing his arms around Alec’s neck and suddenly the shaking stopped, his mind calmed. It was real. He was a lawyer. He could practice law.

Magnus pulled back, eyes alight and grin spread wide across his face. “How do you want to celebrate?” he asked, eyes slipping to down to Alec’s lips.

Alec grinned. There was only one way he wanted to celebrate. “With you,” he said simply.

“Thank god,” Magnus groaned, lunging forward and bringing their lips together like he’d been waiting all night, all week, all month to do this.

They stumbled fully inside the loft, closing the door behind them.

***

Magnus shivered, pressing close to Alec, who was still soaking wet. He didn’t even care. His heart was full to bursting with happiness for Alec, for them. Alec had come to him, he thought, hands shaking as he tried to undue the buttons on Alec’s shirt. He’d come to Magnus before anyone else, Magnus knew because if Isabelle knew she wouldn’t have let Alec leave without getting drunk to celebrate.

Alec wanted to celebrate with him.

Magnus couldn’t breathe. Of course that might have had something to do with having Alec’s tongue in his mouth but whatever.

Alec’s hands gripped his hips tightly and without a word said, Magnus jumped, wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist. Alec barely stumbled, holding him close, their mouths parting for half a second.

Magnus laughed, looping his arms around Alec’s neck as Alec stumbled his way to Magnus’ bed. “God, finally,” Magnus said, flopping down on the bed and reaching out for Alec, pulling him on top of him, not even caring that they were both wet and now the bed would be too.

Their lips crashed together again, Alec stretching out over Magnus. Magnus’ hands moved up and down Alec’s back, legs spread for Alec to rest between. Magnus groaned when Alec broke away to kiss along his jaw, biting at his neck.

“God,” Magnus moaned. “You know,” he said, panting slightly, hands roaming all over Alec. “If I’d known this was part of the wooing, I’d have demanded it sooner.”

Alec laughed against the sensitive skin on the side of Magnus’ neck, making him shiver. “Had to save the best for last,” he said, biting at Magnus’ ear.

Magnus stuttered out a laugh. “Well, yeah, I mean I have a reputation to uphold. I couldn’t allow you to bed me until you were a real lawyer.”

Alec pulled back, looking into Magnus’ eyes, his narrowed and lust filled. “Oh, is that right?” he asked, brushing his lips against, Magnus’.

Magnus nodded. “Y—yeah,” he stuttered as Alec’s hand traveled down over his stomach.

“I’ll show you what a real lawyer can do,” Alec muttered, crashing their lips together again.

***

Magnus rolled them over, landing on top of Alec, who really didn’t mind. Opening his shirt fully, Magnus slowly started kissing down Alec’s chest, driving him insane. He moved slowly, down further and further. Alec’s hands tightened into fists on the bedspread as he waited patiently for Magnus to get down even further.

When Magnus got to the waistband of Alec’s pants, he started back up, laughing against Alec’s abs as he groaned.

Sitting up, Alec moved to his knees and Magnus did the same, a self-satisfied grin on his face. “You may want to take off your pants,” Magnus teased. Alec squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. “They’re looking a little…tight.”

“And you call me ridiculous,” Alec said, voice hoarser than he intended.

Magnus laughed, leaning forward to press their lips together again, finally running a hand down to Alec’s pants. Alec groaned, pulling back to take his shirt off all the way while Magnus did the same.

“Alec,” Magnus said suddenly, freezing in the middle of unbuttoning Alec’s pants.

Alec looked up curiously to find Magnus watching him intensely. Swallowing a sudden lump, Alec raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?

Magnus moved closer, resting his hands on Alec’s hips and staring him right in the eyes. “I love you,” he said, nearly whispering.

Alec froze half undressed. His heart pounded, if he’d thought before that he’d never been happier this…this was even better. He felt sure his heart would explode. He couldn’t say anything, mind empty.

He moved closer, cradling Magnus’ face between his hands and pushing the hair out of his face before kissing him. Alec’s heart raced and he could feel Magnus’ doing the same. Suffice to say, passing the bar was no longer the best thing to have happened that day.

_Magnus loved him._

***

The rest of the night was a pleasant blur that Magnus wouldn’t soon forget. It wasn’t until morning that he realized: Alec hadn’t said it back.

***

Alec woke up slowly, stretching in bed. He reached out, searching for Magnus but found nothing but a warm spot on the bed. Opening his eyes, he sat up slowly. Magnus sat at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and flipping through a magazine.

Smiling, Alec climbed out of bed, slipping on his pants that were hanging over the edge of the bed. He moved to the kitchen, leaning down to press a kiss to Magnus’ cheek. Magnus stood as Alec leaned over, moving into the kitchen.

“Isabelle called,” he said, setting his cup in the sink.

Alec frowned. “What?” he asked, moving towards Magnus again. Magnus turned away, heading back to the bed, stopping at the closet to pull out a towel.

“Isabelle,” Magnus repeated. “I gather she found out from Lydia that you got your results yesterday. She’s very adamant that you call or, and I quote, she’s going to fucking kill you. I’m gonna shower.”

Alec was frozen in the kitchen, frowning. His mind was still groggy from sleep and before he could catch up and reply, asking Magnus if he wanted company in the shower, the bathroom door was shut.

What just happened? Alec asked himself.

***

Magnus showered slowly, half hoping Alec would leave while he was in there. He didn’t. Magnus steeled himself, ignoring the hurt and confusion on Alec’s face as Magnus all but insisted he leave to go tell Isabelle the news.

“Come with me,” Alec said, pausing in the doorway.

“I would but…I’m busy,” Magnus said, turning away from him again. He couldn’t look at Alec, not for any length of time. He was trying too hard to pretend he wasn’t hurt. Last night had been so good, perfect. The last weeks had been. But…but it didn’t matter if Alec didn’t love him.

Magnus swallowed his hurt, getting dressed for yoga. He needed to do something to keep his mind occupied.

***

Alec was barely paying attention as Isabelle and Jace fawned over him. Clary and Simon were there too, Alec hardly noticed. His mind was a swirling mess. What had happened? What did he do wrong? Everything…everything had been _perfect_.

Did he move too fast? But Magnus had wanted too. And he’d said… Did he not mean it? Did he regret saying it?

“Alec?”

Alec looked up slowly, realizing everyone else had left the room suddenly, leaving just him and Isabelle. Isabelle who was looking at him in concern. “What happened?” she asked.

“I…I don’t know.”

***

Two days passed. Alec called and texted but Magnus didn’t answer any of it. If he came by, Magnus didn’t know, staying with Raphael for the weekend again. He tried to get Raphael to yell at him, tell him how stupid he was being but it backfired.

“I refuse to yell at you,” Raphael said Sunday afternoon.

“Why on earth would you refuse that?” Magnus demanded.

“Because you’re being stupid,” Raphael shot back.

“Exactly!” Magnus shouted. “I was stupid! Again! I gave him my heart, again. And look what happened, _again_.”

Raphael shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “You’re being stupid now, hiding out here with me.”

“What?” Magnus gasped. Had he heard wrong?

Raphael rolled his eyes. “I do not know what happened, I don’t care to either. But if there’s one thing that is for sure, that boy is in love with you, Magnus. Anyone can see.”

Magnus flipped Raphael off and left to go back to the loft where he found an invitation on his door. To a celebration for one Alec Lightwood. Magnus crumbled it in his fist, slipping into his dark apartment. He didn’t bother turning on the lights, stumbling blindly to the couch where he stretched out, pulling the blanket that hung over the back of it over him and closing his eyes, willing sleep to take him away.

***

Alec was going crazy, he couldn’t even enjoy the fact that he’d passed the bar. What did it matter when Magnus wouldn’t talk to him?

Alec called him, again and again and again. Texted. Went to his apartment. Nothing.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t think of anything but Magnus. What did he do wrong? He’d tried, so hard…

By Wednesday Alec couldn’t take it anymore, hailing a cab to Magnus’ job. He paced in the small elevator, trying to calm his nerves. Smoothed his hair down and prayed he didn’t look like a crazed man as he walked through the building, to Magnus’ office. The lights were off, door closed.

“He’s not here,” Simon said from his desk right in front of Magnus’ office. “He hasn’t been in all week.”

Alec sighed, sitting on the edge of Simon’s desk. “What did I do?” he asked, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I don’t know,” Simon said, voice low and pitying. “He seemed so happy, when you were wooing him. He called this morning, said the Chairman is sick, but I’m pretty sure that was a lie.”

Alec nodded, running a hand through his hair. God, he needed to shower, he realized feeling how greasy his hair had gotten. “If you talk to him again, just…tell him I’m sorry, please, for whatever I did.”

Alec stood, heading back to the elevator. “I’ll see you Friday,” Simon called. “Congrats.”

Alec waved over his shoulder, barely registering his words.

***

Magnus wasn’t hiding, per say. He was just…ignoring the world at large. Just for a few days, then he’d let it back in, slowly. Probably.

Magnus barely moved from the couch Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday he got sick of himself and cleaned the loft from top to bottom, finally washing the bed sheets after the other night.

It was just…he’d thought it was real, finally. He could still feel the happiness of the other night, of the last weeks with Alec. Salsa dancing and eating way too many potstickers. Fuck, Magnus thought, feeling like punching something when he realized Alec had ruined potstickers for him.

Magnus didn’t want to mope, but he couldn’t help himself. He was crushed.

***

Isabelle planned the party, renting out a club downtown. Alec stood off to the side, close to the door, watching everyone who came in, nodding and smiling halfheartedly at every congratulation. Part of him hoping Magnus would show, that…that maybe, just maybe, he was over reacting, that Magnus had just been sick or busy. Lost his phone.

Alec was pathetic. He shook his head, moving towards the bar. Magnus wasn’t going to show up.

Alec ordered a shot and then stared down at it, contemplating life. Or Magnus really. Maybe Magnus was right, maybe they were never supposed to be more than a one night stand.

“Alec.”

Alec groaned, hanging his head and wishing his parents away. When he opened his eyes, glancing over his shoulder, they were still there.

“Congratulations,” his mother said, hugging him stiffly.

“Thank you,” Alec said, hugging her back just as stiffly.

Robert merely offered his hand and then handed over an envelope. “Just a little something,” he said.

Alec nodded, opening the envelope to find…a check. “That’s a lot of numbers,” Alec said numbly.

Maryse frowned while Robert cleared his throat. “Well, yes, but…you’ve earned it, Alec. It can be hard making it as a lawyer and while I have no doubt that you won’t have any trouble doing so, I just want you to have the means to not worry too much about money. Keep your options open. Intern for a while, try to find a paying job. Or open your own small firm. That won’t take care of much if you go that road but…at least it will help pay the bills.”

Alec nodded. Normally, he would’ve argued but he didn’t have it in him at the moment. Slipping the envelope into his jacket pocket, he turned back to the bar and his still full shot.

Maryse leaned up against the bar next to him, eyes narrowed. She ordered herself a shot, surprising Alec. “I thought you would be happier, is this not what you wanted, Alec?” she asked.

Alec sighed, swirling his shot glass around. “I am happy,” he said. “This is all I’ve wanted.”

“But?” Maryse prompted.

“But,” Alec said, sighing. He must really be desperate if he was talking to his mother about this. Or depressed. “I fell in love, okay? And now he won’t talk to me and I have no idea what I did wrong so it’s a little hard to be excited.”

Maryse merely nodded, raising her shot to Alec before throwing it back. “We make our own lives, our own paths. When you find what you want, Alec, you do whatever you possibly can to get it. Okay?”

Alec frowned, shaking his head. What? But Maryse was already leaving. _What?_ Alec thought again, finally throwing back his shot.

“Why so sad, big bro?” Isabelle asked, appearing next to him suddenly.

“Magnus isn’t here,” Alec said simply.

Isabelle’s grin faded and she nodded sadly. “I noticed.”

“I don’t know what I did this time, Izzy. Maybe I’m just not meant to have a real relationship,” he said, nodding to the bartender to refill his glass.

Isabelle sat on the bar stool next to him, throwing an arm around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. “That’s not true, Alec. Don’t give up.”

Alec sighed, shaking his head. “Do you think I want to give up Isabelle? I love him. I just…I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Luckily for you,” a deep voice said. “I do.”

Alec turned around slowly. “Raphael?”

“Clearly,” Raphael said, rolling his eyes. “I heard you talking to the assistant the other day, and I, unlike you, have had the…privilege of seeing Magnus this last week. If you want to be with him, then come with me.”

Alec frowned, confused. But he didn’t hesitate.

***

Magnus turned his music up louder from where he laid on the couch, trying and failing to lose himself in a book. Someone knocked on the door again and Magnus turned the music up again.

Finally, fed up, whoever it was kicked the door. After some cursing in Spanish that Magnus could just make out, Raphael yelled, “If you do not open this door right now—”

Magnus opened the door and immediately went to close it again, heart splintering messily in his chest as his eyes locked on Alec, standing over Raphael’s shoulder. Lunging forward quicker than Magnus would’ve thought possible, Raphael caught the door, opening it again.

“Betrayer,” Magnus accused, glaring at Raphael and pretending no one else was there.

“Talk to him,” Raphael demanded, pushing the door open all the way and gesturing Alec in.

Magnus turned away, heading to the kitchen to make tea. Raphael didn’t bother saying goodbye before turning and leaving. Magnus swallowed the lump in his chest, pretending Alec wasn’t standing just a few feet away. In the kitchen, he turned the music up louder again.

Alec carefully closed the door, wincing at the volume of the music. Not that Magnus noticed.

The stereo turned off suddenly, and Magnus huffed. Grabbing his phone, he used it to turn the speaker back on. Alec turned it off again.

“Please, Magnus,” he said, voice impossibly soft, sending a spike of pain through Magnus.

Magnus set his phone down, folding his arms.

“Can we just…talk?” Alec asked, standing in the middle of the open room, hands outstretched like he was surrendering. Magnus sighed, moving to the other side of the kitchen to face Alec.

“What’s there to talk about?” he asked, voice perfectly emotionless, face stony even as inside he was a mess of whimpering pieces. Of the question, why, over and over again.

Alec laughed bitterly, shaking his head and Magnus finally looked up at him. He…he looked like shit. Dark circles under his eyes, face too pale, shoulders drooping. Good, Magnus thought bitterly right before asking, “When’s the last time you slept?” Damn it, Magnus cursed himself.

Alec shook his head, waving the question away. “It doesn’t matter.”

Magnus looked away, right. It didn’t. He tried to breath slow and even but that was nearly impossible.

Alec cleared his throat. “I just…I don’t know what happened, Magnus. I thought…things were good, weren’t they? Just, please, tell me what happened.”

Magnus turned away, moving to the balcony, suddenly in need of fresh air.

“Please,” Alec said again. “I don’t understand what happened. Everything was perfect.”

Magnus froze, clenching his hands into fists. He scoffed, shaking his head slowly. Of course Alec didn’t even realize what he’d done. Of course, it wasn’t really his fault. You couldn’t force yourself to love someone.

“Magnus,” Alec said like he was gasping for air, on his last breath.

“Just…stop,” Magnus said, voice louder than he’d intended. “Let it go already.”

“Let what go?” Alec demanded, moving closer. “Just tell me what I did and I’ll fix it, Magnus, please. I…I’ve been miserable all week. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I just…I need to know what I did. Whatever it is, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.”

Alec was close now, reaching out for Magnus.

Magnus shook his head, pulling away before Alec could touch him. He turned his back to him, breathing heavily.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” Alec said, voice impossibly soft, on the edge of exhausted.

Magnus whirled around, heart pounding. He couldn’t take it anymore, he just…he needed Alec to leave to he could pretend everything was still fine. “You want to know what you did?” he demanded. “What happened?” Magnus’ voice was shaking, he was practically shouting by now.

Alec’s eyes narrowed, anger igniting deep within them. “ _Yes_ ,” he said.

Magnus shook his head, trying to hold the words in but he couldn’t. Finally, he shouted, throwing his hands up at the same time. “You didn’t say it back!”

“What?” Alec shouted, then shook his head. “ _What?_ ” he asked in a softer voice.

Magnus scoffed, trying to remember to breathe. And then Alec’s eyes went wide and he froze, face turning even paler. And Magnus, ever stupid, almost started to hope.

***

“Oh my god,” Alec whispered but it may as well have been a shout in the silence of the moment. “I didn’t say it back. I’m idiot. How do I keep screwing this up? You…this…is the best thing to ever happen to me and I can’t…” he trailed off, falling to the couch, shaking his head.

Alec buried his head in his hands, leaning forward over his knees. He was such a fucking idiot. Of course, Magnus had said and then Alec… Alec couldn’t breathe.

He shook his head, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I’m so stupid,” he said. He was a mess, heart barely beating, skin too hot, mind a mess. He’d fucked up everything again, worse than ever.

“Alec?” Magnus finally asked, voice laced with concern Alec didn’t deserve.

Alec jumped to his feet, shaking his head. Before he could stop himself, he started talking, rambling. “I’ve been trying so hard to fix it, to make it up to you, how could I be so stupid? All I wanted was to prove to you that…that I was worth it. That…that I wouldn’t hurt you anymore and here I go, fucking it up again,” he said, all in a rush.

Alec stopped pacing, staring at Magnus, sure that every emotion in him was clear as day on his face.

Magnus frowned. “Fix what?” he asked. “Make up for what?”

Alec took a deep, calming breathing. Shaking his head slowly. “Fix this,” he said, gesturing between them. “Make it up to you for treating you like shit, for making you think even for a second that you weren’t worth it, for showing up on your birthday for a one night stand after you told me how you felt. But I have nothing, I don’t— I don’t know what to do. I keep trying and I just fuck it up more. I did…did all that to show you I meant it. That — that I…loved you. That I want you, so bad and not just for sex, for…for everything. But I’m not worth it Magnus, you…you deserve everything and I can’t even figure out how to tell you how I feel.” Alec stopped suddenly, out of breath.

He looked up slowly, meeting Magnus’ eyes. Magnus, who had frozen, a look of disbelief on his face. “What did you just say?”

***

Magnus couldn’t breathe. All his anger and hurt forgotten as Alec’s words replayed in his mind.

Alec laughed bitterly. “I’m not repeating all that.”

Magnus shook his head, taking a step forward, towards Alec who stood in the middle of the room, staring down at his hands, rubbing his fingers together.

Magnus took a deep breath, fighting off a giddy, helpless smile. “Why don’t you…just tell me how you feel?”

Alec looked up slowly, Magnus stopped a foot away, waiting. He watched Alec swallow, nodding. “I — I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love in the blink of an eye but…” Alec hesitated, not even realizing he was taking Magnus’ breath away. “I can’t remember when I started feeling that, for you.”

Magnus breathed in, forcing his heart to beat. “You… you?” Magnus couldn’t say it, eyes locked on Alec.

“I’m an idiot,” Alec said.

Magnus swallowed a laugh. “Go on,” he said.

Alec snorted. “Be serious.”

“You be serious,” Magnus said, fighting off a grin because…because—

“I love you, Magnus, more than I thought possible. And I’ve been trying to tell you that, I was just waiting for the right time and I should’ve said it the other night I was just…distracted. But I should’ve said it…forever ago. I—”

But Magnus had had enough talking. “Shut up,” he said, tugging Alec closer by the hands.

Their lips were an inch apart when Alec muttered, “Make me.”

***

Alec couldn’t breathe but he didn’t really care, too busy kissing Magnus. Who loved him. Who Alec loved.

Now that he’d said it once, he couldn’t stop saying it. Between every kiss, breaking apart every few minutes, making Magnus laugh or grin so widely it made Alec’s heart hurt.

Magnus tugged him towards the bed, tugging Alec’s shirt off, before moving to his own.

Alec laughed. “I love how impatient you are,” he teased, grabbing Magnus’ waist and pulling him in for another kiss.

Magnus melted into the kiss before pulling away and glaring even while carefully removing his necklaces and rings. “You’re the impatient one,” he said, staring pointedly at Alec’s pants.

“And you love that about me,” Alec said, grabbing Magnus again and tugging him onto the bed.

“You’re ridiculous,” Magnus said as their lips moved back together.

***

Everything was slow and careful, whisper filled moans and low confessions dragged out with slow movements. Magnus had never felt so…loved before.

They laid awake for hours after, curled close, Alec playing with Magnus’ hand idly.

Magnus’ heart felt full to bursting and he could barely stop smiling. “I forgive you, by the way,” he said sometime late into the night.

Alec looked over slowly, fighting off a yawn. “For what?” he asked, leaning over to kiss Magnus. Magnus melted into the kiss, refusing to pull back until Alec pulled away, laughing and gasping for breath.

“For you being an idiot,” he teased, resting his head on Alec’s chest again.

“Thank you,” Alec said, rolling his eyes. But a moment later he rolled over, pulling Magnus underneath him and kissing him slowly, thoroughly, just the way Magnus liked. “I promise to continue wooing you,” Alec muttered, pulling back slowly. “For however long you want.”

Magnus’ heart pounded in his chest but it wasn’t painful anymore. “You better,” he said, grinning and pulling Alec back down.

***

Alec slept better than he had all week, arms wrapped tight around Magnus. He couldn’t believe how the night had gone but he had no real complaints. He was happily in love after all.

***

“Magnus,” Alec whispered, shaking his shoulder.

Magnus groaned, tightening his arm around Alec, who laughed. “If you want breakfast you’re going to have to let me go.”

“Not hungry,” Magnus muttered, getting comfortable with his head on Alec’s chest.

“No?” Alec asked. “Not even for some coffee and a chocolate chip bagel?”

“Hate you,” Magnus mumbled, rolling over in bed and releasing Alec.

“Actually,” Alec teased, leaning over Magnus to press a kiss to his cheek. Even half asleep, Magnus’ heart raced happily at the action. “I have it on good authority that you love me.”

“Shut up.”

Magnus fell asleep again before the door closed behind Alec. He stretched out, claiming the whole bed for himself.

“Wakey, wakey, sleepy head,” Alec called out, what had to be only a few minutes later.

Magnus groaned but forced himself to sit up as Alec climbed back in bed, handing over a warm cup of coffee and a bag of bagels. Magnus moaned happily at the first sip of coffee. “And suddenly I realize why I love you,” he said, eyes still closed.

“I knew you only liked me for my bagels,” Alec teased.

“It’s true,” Magnus said, moving to rest his head on Alec’s shoulder once more.

***

Alec had never been so happy, spending the morning in bed, feeding Magnus’ bagels. They talked about everything and nothing and suddenly Alec could picture the rest of his life perfectly. It didn’t matter if he became a successful lawyer or started a firm that went bankrupt in two years. As long as he had Magnus.

Alec’s heart twinged at the thought, not painful more…hopeful.

He smiled at Magnus, moving in to kiss him again. Because he could.

***

Magnus would be fine never leaving bed again. Bane Co. could go under tomorrow and he wouldn’t care. He’d become a hermit with Alec and consider his life complete. At least, that was the plan until Alec tried to get him out of bed.

“Come on,” Alec said. “The wooing isn’t over, I have plans.”

Magnus groaned. “I’ve been wooed, you can stop now! Please, don’t feed me anymore, you’ve ruined potstickers, Alexander. Ruined them!”

Alec laughed, shaking his head and trying to pull Magnus from bed again.

“Wait,” Magnus said, sitting up and grabbing Alec’s arm. He pulled him back to bed, patting the spot next to him. “Just a minute,” he promised, turning Alec’s face to his and meeting his eyes.

“So we’re back to the slow dating thing?” he asked, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Alec’s lips, hands moving to the hem of Alec’s shirt and slipping under.

Alec’s eyes dilated but he nodded as Magnus pulled his shirt up. “Doing it right, slow, from the beginning,” Alec mumbled, raising his arms as Magnus shifted to pull Alec’s shirt up over his head.

“Right,” Magnus said, nodding seriously. He pushed the blanket away, getting to his knees. He moved to face Alec who was now leaning against the headboard, climbing over him to straddle his lap.

“Or,” Magnus said, kissing the side of Alec’s neck slowly and thoroughly, biting a little here and there.

“Or?” Alec repeated, voice throatier already.

“Or,” Magnus agreed, leaning back. “We admit we’re crazy for each other and so far in love it doesn’t matter if we take it slow anymore.”

Magnus watched Alec closely as he swallowed, licking his lips. “Yeah?” Alec asked.

Magnus nodded, grabbing Alec’s hand and moving it to the front of his pants. “Yeah.”

“And then what?” Alec asked, smirking as Magnus tried to move his hand closer but Alec held it still.

Magnus smirked, the look far more effective with his smoldering eyes as he leaned in, licking Alec’s ear before whispering, “Then was stay in all day, all weekend, and have amazing sex in every position we can think of.”

Alec’s breath stuttered, hands moving to Magnus’ hips and holding him close. “I like the way you think,” he whispered.

Magnus grinned, leaning back to meet Alec’s eyes. “I love you,” he said.

Alec smirked, shaking his head and pulling Magnus close. “I’m crazy for you,” Alec said, eyes wide and sparkling. “And so far in love I can’t see anyone else.”

“Ditto,” Magnus whispered, leaning in to capture Alec’s lips again.

Maybe one night stands could turn into relationships after all, Magnus thought. Or maybe he and Alec were just meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That turned into a monster fic. It was an accident, I swear. It just kept getting longer and longer and yeah. I wrote over 12k of that today and then edited that 12k today so...any mistakes are because of that. I can not thank you enough for reading this, I wasn't expecting much of a reaction to it when I wrote the first part for my love's birthday, so that was amazing and thank you for putting up with me taking so long!
> 
> Comments and kudos are love, I love you all SO MUCH. I hope you loved this, I'm on [Tumblr @imawriteriwrite](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/) where you can yell at me and talk to me all you want. It's also the best place for fic updates! And yes, please let me know if you enjoyed this. XD
> 
> Thank you again. Love you, biscuits! <3<3<3
> 
> Update 3.8.17: I had my notes messed up this so that the notes for chapter one appeared after chapter two, possibly leading to confusion about a sequel, sorry about that! I don't have a sequel planned right now but maybe one day! Though I am working on an extra snippet to come. <3


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